Llama Trauma

It has been so hot here lately that we knew the inevitable was coming: Joe would need to be sheared. So we put pencil to paper and decided that we could probably do it ourselves with an initial (hefty) investment for some "Shearmaster" clippers.

As an aside, I have some Oster clippers that I use to clip the dog and the horses, and let me tell you, there is a colossal difference. I was thinking that maybe I could try the Osters, but knew that once we started we couldn’t go back, so I didn’t want to go through all of that trauma only to have to stop halfway. Well, there was no comparison, the Osters wouldn’t have even cut an inch of this fur. That is why people charge $50 to shear your llama—it’s a job for the person and a job for the clippers. The Shearmasters are literally the size of my forearm, and they are built to run for extended periods of time. The Osters would have burned up if I left them on for the 45 minutes or so that it took to shear him.

Saturday we went out for some supplies and stopped at the grocery store. You remember, the beautiful store to which I hate to go… Anyway, B and I nearly busted out laughing when the checkout girl (a teenager), said, “So, you guys have any big plans for the weekend?” I’m sure she anticipated us chirping about our plans for a family gathering at the park, or a cookout, or even the excitement of a graduation party. I’m sure “We’re going to shear our llama” was not the response she expected. So we left it unsaid. But we should have said it…

I have asked B to make a llama chute so that Joe would be safe. However, we have hemmed and hawed about that because it is a lot of work for a contraption to be used once a year. And where will we store it? So it didn’t get built. Instead, we rigged up a sort of chute using a livestock gate. It was actually fine, except that when llamas are frightened, for some reason their instinct is to lie down. So they put supports under the llama’s body so that they cannot lie down. It’s definitely difficult to shear a llama when he’s lying down in a small space. Instead, we used a board, but it was at a small angle, and Joe ended up kicking it over. So that was not a good solution.

He has the most amazingly soft fur, and the Shearmasters worked a treat. It did take forever, however, and he struggled the entire time. I was drenched in sweat after finishing, and I bet if llamas could sweat, Joe would have been sweaty, too. But because he can’t sweat, well, that’s the reason we sheared him in the first place.

Here is a photo of the newly nekkid Joe Llama: