You might be a redneck if...
... you haul your goat to the show in the back of your SUV.
... you don't have your sportscar parked in your garage because your chickens are housed inside (the garage, not the sportscar!)
... you have a clawfoot bathtub in your backyard.
... you have had livestock in your home.
... your son can play a pretty mean tune on the jaw harp.
... your animals' groceries cost more than your family's.
... your spouse has shooed away children or dogs in his underwear (with or without a weapon).
... someone has paid you for services with livestock.
... your technical term "rotational grazing" really consists of you moving fences to ensure that you don't have to mow your lawn.
I am screwed.
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