You deserve an explanation

Okay, I will admit, that despite my best intentions, I do not keep in touch with people like I should. I do have to say, however, that I am one of those people that can just pick up where I’ve left off with someone. So I have a lot of friends, though we may not have chatted in a while.

Which leads me to my current dilemma. Since I recently posted the photos of our farm on my website, I thought I would send an email to everyone in my address book letting them know that they could see photos. After all, we enjoy catching up with the latest photos from everyone else. Well, I had no idea that I would receive so many incredulous emails! People are shocked that we’ve given up our former lives and turned into mouse-killing rural-ites!

So, I guess I owe them an explanation. After all, for some of them, our friendship memories were made at college, or in our Wicker Park (Chicago) garden apartment. I did love working downtown, and B loved (and still does) the city architecture. Some people remember times spent together when we lived abroad, and others know my intense love of Paris (and all things French). I speak two foreign languages—that I can’t say I’ve even used once since we’ve moved here. Some think we’ve gone off the deep end have abandoned all that we used to be and stand for. It does seem a bit incongruous at first glance, I suppose.

But it’s really consistent with everything that we have always stood for. Our friends know we are not pretentious people. What you see is what you get. We believe in honesty, not just in the “being truthful” sense, but in always being clear about your goals, making sure they are at the forefront, and making a distinct path between point A and point B.

When we lived in the suburbs, it was muddied. We’d do and buy things that we didn’t need or want, or that the kids wanted (Gameboy is a great example) just because we didn’t want our kids to lack anything that their friends had. After all, it wasn’t that we couldn’t afford it, it would just be selfish not to give them something that everyone else has, right? Gosh, that sounds so ridiculous when I type it! But you get sucked into that mentality!

Two great examples came to light shortly before we decided to start looking for a new house. The first one was when L was invited to a birthday party. The little boy turned 8, and he invited all of his friends to go flying. Yes, flying in a plane. The boy’s dad was a pilot and owned his own planes and airport. So after that, how can I have a party with homemade cupcakes and pin the tail on the donkey?? And it’s not really L’s fault that he doesn’t want a “pin the tail on the donkey” kind of party, is it?

We took M to the dentist. The hygienist said that it was time to consider whether or not she would need braces. They agreed that her teeth were straight, and likely didn’t need braces. “But,” she said, “If you live in you pretty much always get braces. Everyone in gets braces.” Umm, not my kid. Not unless she needs them!! But is it fair to the kids if they look around and they are truly the only ones who don’t have these things?

This was really getting under my skin, and we spent a lot of time stressing about it. About the same time, M had been involved with a horseback riding program for handicapped children. I volunteered for one when I was in high school, and thought it would be the perfect sport for her. She did wonderfully, and we continued after the instructor left the program. The instructor took on students with and without disabilities, so L decided he wanted to take lessons, too. Then, since everyone knows I am horse crazy, it shouldn’t surprise you all to know it didn’t take long for me to decide that I needed lessons as well.

While spending time in the barn during the kids’ lessons, I realized that there was a tremendous peace that I felt. Less stress, more honesty. Tasks were everywhere, within control. A pile of manure was here, and needed to be moved there. You have the wheelbarrow and the shovel, and just need to put some elbow grease into it and get it done. In a few minutes, the task is done. No time sheet, no approval process, no boss, no committee discussion. It is so uncomplicated. That is very therapeutic. Of course, the physical work put into the task is also very therapeutic (I’ve lost over 20 pounds on the “work your ass off “ diet!).

In considering all of these things, we decided to get a place where we could have our own horses, and we could live in a community where we would be supported by others who were like-minded. We have that, and are very thankful. The school is very, very small. The faculty and other kids are very supportive and the kids have settled in well. They are both doing better academically than they did in the suburbs. M is getting the special ed support that she needs, and very individual attention in the way she needs it.

Our kids climb trees, clean the barn, help with inside chores (like laundry, vacuuming, cooking and dishes). We talk a lot about the science and physics behind things. It’s just FUN to live where we live. They are tired when they go to bed—body tired, not just mind tired. We appreciate the history in our community, and especially in our house. We were just discussing yesterday the fact that our plumbing was much newer than the house, and we thought about how previous kids who lived there had to go outside to use the bathroom. It was fun to think about, especially because those kids lived in our house! They slept in the same rooms, they walked on the same floors. And that sort of thing is everywhere—from the basement, to the creaky floors, to the old wood and cabinets, to the outdated linoleum. You can’t help but consider it every time you look around.

Oh, and we haven’t had the Gameboys out since we’ve moved in. They haven’t even asked for them.

It’s not that we don’t have luxuries. We do. We have plenty of things that we really don’t need, just that we want. And believe me, I remind B daily that his sports car is a “want”. : ) But we feel that we need to always remember that those things are luxuries, and they’re just wants. We want our decisions to get and keep those things, to be conscious ones. We want to remember the real reasons we’re on this earth, and to live accordingly.

We want to get to the point where it’s not so deliberate, that it’s just the way we live. This Christmas will be interesting, with our pared down lifestyle. Of course we all have our list of wants and needs. B wants snow tires for the sports car, and I want a Stubben saddle… I’ll let you know what Santa drops off!

I hope this gives a little more insight into our seemingly crazy lifestyle change!