You deserve an explanation

Okay, I will admit, that despite my best intentions, I do not keep in touch with people like I should. I do have to say, however, that I am one of those people that can just pick up where I’ve left off with someone. So I have a lot of friends, though we may not have chatted in a while.

Which leads me to my current dilemma. Since I recently posted the photos of our farm on my website, I thought I would send an email to everyone in my address book letting them know that they could see photos. After all, we enjoy catching up with the latest photos from everyone else. Well, I had no idea that I would receive so many incredulous emails! People are shocked that we’ve given up our former lives and turned into mouse-killing rural-ites!

So, I guess I owe them an explanation. After all, for some of them, our friendship memories were made at college, or in our Wicker Park (Chicago) garden apartment. I did love working downtown, and B loved (and still does) the city architecture. Some people remember times spent together when we lived abroad, and others know my intense love of Paris (and all things French). I speak two foreign languages—that I can’t say I’ve even used once since we’ve moved here. Some think we’ve gone off the deep end have abandoned all that we used to be and stand for. It does seem a bit incongruous at first glance, I suppose.

But it’s really consistent with everything that we have always stood for. Our friends know we are not pretentious people. What you see is what you get. We believe in honesty, not just in the “being truthful” sense, but in always being clear about your goals, making sure they are at the forefront, and making a distinct path between point A and point B.

When we lived in the suburbs, it was muddied. We’d do and buy things that we didn’t need or want, or that the kids wanted (Gameboy is a great example) just because we didn’t want our kids to lack anything that their friends had. After all, it wasn’t that we couldn’t afford it, it would just be selfish not to give them something that everyone else has, right? Gosh, that sounds so ridiculous when I type it! But you get sucked into that mentality!

Two great examples came to light shortly before we decided to start looking for a new house. The first one was when L was invited to a birthday party. The little boy turned 8, and he invited all of his friends to go flying. Yes, flying in a plane. The boy’s dad was a pilot and owned his own planes and airport. So after that, how can I have a party with homemade cupcakes and pin the tail on the donkey?? And it’s not really L’s fault that he doesn’t want a “pin the tail on the donkey” kind of party, is it?

We took M to the dentist. The hygienist said that it was time to consider whether or not she would need braces. They agreed that her teeth were straight, and likely didn’t need braces. “But,” she said, “If you live in you pretty much always get braces. Everyone in gets braces.” Umm, not my kid. Not unless she needs them!! But is it fair to the kids if they look around and they are truly the only ones who don’t have these things?

This was really getting under my skin, and we spent a lot of time stressing about it. About the same time, M had been involved with a horseback riding program for handicapped children. I volunteered for one when I was in high school, and thought it would be the perfect sport for her. She did wonderfully, and we continued after the instructor left the program. The instructor took on students with and without disabilities, so L decided he wanted to take lessons, too. Then, since everyone knows I am horse crazy, it shouldn’t surprise you all to know it didn’t take long for me to decide that I needed lessons as well.

While spending time in the barn during the kids’ lessons, I realized that there was a tremendous peace that I felt. Less stress, more honesty. Tasks were everywhere, within control. A pile of manure was here, and needed to be moved there. You have the wheelbarrow and the shovel, and just need to put some elbow grease into it and get it done. In a few minutes, the task is done. No time sheet, no approval process, no boss, no committee discussion. It is so uncomplicated. That is very therapeutic. Of course, the physical work put into the task is also very therapeutic (I’ve lost over 20 pounds on the “work your ass off “ diet!).

In considering all of these things, we decided to get a place where we could have our own horses, and we could live in a community where we would be supported by others who were like-minded. We have that, and are very thankful. The school is very, very small. The faculty and other kids are very supportive and the kids have settled in well. They are both doing better academically than they did in the suburbs. M is getting the special ed support that she needs, and very individual attention in the way she needs it.

Our kids climb trees, clean the barn, help with inside chores (like laundry, vacuuming, cooking and dishes). We talk a lot about the science and physics behind things. It’s just FUN to live where we live. They are tired when they go to bed—body tired, not just mind tired. We appreciate the history in our community, and especially in our house. We were just discussing yesterday the fact that our plumbing was much newer than the house, and we thought about how previous kids who lived there had to go outside to use the bathroom. It was fun to think about, especially because those kids lived in our house! They slept in the same rooms, they walked on the same floors. And that sort of thing is everywhere—from the basement, to the creaky floors, to the old wood and cabinets, to the outdated linoleum. You can’t help but consider it every time you look around.

Oh, and we haven’t had the Gameboys out since we’ve moved in. They haven’t even asked for them.

It’s not that we don’t have luxuries. We do. We have plenty of things that we really don’t need, just that we want. And believe me, I remind B daily that his sports car is a “want”. : ) But we feel that we need to always remember that those things are luxuries, and they’re just wants. We want our decisions to get and keep those things, to be conscious ones. We want to remember the real reasons we’re on this earth, and to live accordingly.

We want to get to the point where it’s not so deliberate, that it’s just the way we live. This Christmas will be interesting, with our pared down lifestyle. Of course we all have our list of wants and needs. B wants snow tires for the sports car, and I want a Stubben saddle… I’ll let you know what Santa drops off!

I hope this gives a little more insight into our seemingly crazy lifestyle change!

Did you know...

that mice can chew through tupperware containers? Um, yeah, they can. Know where I can buy any metal boxes?

Update:
A mouse chewed through one of those big, sturdy storage bins where we store the dog food on the porch. We fixed Mr. Mouse with a metal garbage can and a mousetrap. Apparently he liked cheese in addition to Science Diet. : )

A long night

Major had colic last night. I have learned a lot about colic in the last 24 hours! He did not have the torsion (more threatening, twisted-gut) type. Rather, I think he had impaction, and certainly constipation. It was a really scary night! He just hung his head, and was obviously in great pain. We walked him around for quite a while, and sat with him. It was 19 degrees last night, so this was not a pleasant task!

We went to bed at 1:30, and I got up at 5:30 and ran out to the barn. He was up at least, but had not made any more apples. I walked and walked him around in the driveway for about an hour. I made him a bran mash, which he refused. I brought him some tepid tap water from the house. He refused that. I brought him some apple juice. He refused that. We then turned him out with the girls! That was pretty funny, since they chased the “intruder” around! It’s amazing what a mare will do to a stallion—you’d think the stallion would be the “king of the herd.” Horse people know that it’s the opposite—the alpha mare rules the roost (just like humans!). Kitten chased him away and kept him running. Good thing too, since I caught him and brought him back to his stall where he promptly left me some apples! Yay! I never thought I’d get so excited about horse poop…

All the kids are feeling better now—the furry kids and the fleshy kids. That is certainly something to be thankful for.

I will sleep like a baby tonight!

Dead.

We got 2 of them. Pretty sad when I have to blog about killing small, innocent rodents. I think I am still way too citified.

Lest I be too hard on myself, ask yourself if you would come and eat at my house knowing there were mice in my food drawers! Maybe you would... I wouldn't!

I'm trying to get over it!

You won't believe this!

I think the feline gods are smiling on me!

I came home early today with a sick kiddo, and went out to the barn. It's really raining here, and the 4-legged kids were cold looking and drippy. I brought them in so they could dry off.

As I walked into the barn, I noticed that the kittens were all in a pile in the box full of hay that I made for them! I was shocked! They ARE using the little kitty house that I made, but they aren't using it when I am around!

Yesterday I enticed them to play with some baling twine, and they were so engrossed in "killing" it that they forgot that I was at the other end! And they have been sleeping on top of the hay. So while they are not yet rubbing against my legs, they are at least making themselves at home around the barn.

I named them: The momma is named B.B., one kitten is Tippy (becuase he has a white-tipped tail), one is Mark (because he has a mark on his back) and the last one is Bub. They all look nearly identical, and they are getting so big you can hardly tell if it's B.B. or one of her kitties.

It's taken months, but we're getting there!

Northern Lights

I never got to see them! I can't believe that, with as much staring at the sky as I do, I didn't even get a glimpse. Monday was the day, I hear, so Tuesday I parked my freezing cold butt outside for half the evening, just in case. I took all my phone calls outside! It was like 30 degrees, and freezing, but hey, I wanted to see them. I was out Wednesday, too, but it was cloudy. Thursday it rained. Nooooo, it wasn't meant to be.

Sad. : (

One of those days...

I decided to stop on my way home from work to get grain. We are scraping the bottom of the barrel, so it was time. It would have put me about 20 minutes late getting home—the kids would be on their own for that amount of time. My rationale was that if they had homework, it would be better for them to use that time to get it done, rather than have me uproot them and take them with me on the grain run, and then have them do their work when we got home.

On the way home, they didn’t call me, which made me nervous. They are always supposed ot call me when they get home to let me know they are home safe. They have a key, but did they lose it? Was the bus really late? If so, why? All the mom thoughts started running through my head…

I get home to find them running around outside—not atypical—but when I asked them why they weren’t in the house, they told me they started to unlock the door to go inside, but the doorknob broke off! Then, L went outside with the key, climbed a tree and lost it in the grass!

Fortunately, I was a girl scout, and am still a pretty handy woman. Just for future reference, a nail setter will work quite well when you need a doorknob substitute and don’t have the right size screwdriver handy. I opened the door in about 45 seconds. We spent considerably longer looking for the key.

While looking for tools, we went down into the basement and found a dead mouse.

You know, NONE of these things would have happened 6 months ago in our old (new) house! The doorknobs were new and secured to the doors. There were no big trees for boys to climb and lose keys! There would be no need for me to stop and get grain! And there were no mice around, and even if there were, they wouldn’t die in my basement!!

But I still would never, ever go back.

Century-Old Stories

The thought of inviting someone over used to make me cringe. To see my walls half done, and all undone? No way will I be comfortable showing off cracked plaster and ancient lathe.

This past weekend I put my pride aside and we had a party celebrating our progress. We decided to call it our mid-renovation celebration! The invitation warned of the cracked plaster and unfinished decorating and still-not-unpacked boxes.

I should have been prepared for the response.

I should have known, based upon the response from those who have already visited. Granted, they were close relatives, but still, they all had such good things to say. They all supported us in our efforts, telling us that they realized these things would take time.

Btu I didn’t listen closely enough to what they REALLY said. I did, however, hear it this weekend.

People love our house because it reminds them of something. We had nearly 30 people visit, and nearly all noted that the house reminded them of a house they had lived in at one time, a house they had restored, a house that their parents live(d) in, a house where their grandparents live(d). What attracted me to the house was that it told a story. Every scratch in the wood floors was a place where a child dropped a toy, every crack on the wall was a nail pounded in to hold that perfect picture. Each stain on the kitchen floor was probably marked by the cook’s cursing and the dog’s cheering. And all of those things over 80 years.

I am sad that I didn’t realize sooner that everyone else can appreciate the story. Not only that, but most of them contributed to the story in someone else’s house, and remember.

Love/Hate

Did I say I loved fall? I do, for all of the reasons I mentioned before. But I was noticing today that the farm looks really scruffy. Trees have brown leaves, only about half of them. The other half is on the ground blowing around. It doesn't help that it's been raining. The sky provides a gloomy backdrop. It's depressing, because it looks like there is so much work to be done-- we were pleased with ourselves when the place was looking quite tidy over the summer.

I pressure washed the barn before the horses moved in, and it's full of cobwebs again. My logic tells me to wait until spring, but my fastidiousness is encouraging me to do it now, before winter. It would be much more sensible for me to focus my efforts on making the barn windproof and animal proof. But sense has never been my strong point.

The cats drive me nuts. I think we might be down to 2 kittens, I have not seen the 3rd in days. However, from previous experience (see below) I know that he/she may show up in a few days just to prove me wrong. I had winterproofed the barn, and then beat myself up because I thought one of the kittens may have been snacked on by a coyote when it couldn't run back into the secret passage for safety. However, they have succeeded in digging another hole under the barn wall, so they can all get in and out quite easily. It's not near the horses, so I am considering leaving it, but I keep wondering what other animals can get through a hole?

I saw a possum the other night. They look mean up close!! I was walking down to the barn -- it's pitch black at night because we don't have a farm light-- and the motion light went on. Smack in the middle of the driveway-- and straight in my path-- was a possum. He stared straight at me, and I couldn't do anything but stare back. He finally scurried away into the night. I do worry about EPM and was advised to kill any possum I saw. However, I had no "weapon" and the critter hurried away before I could even attempt to get to the barn and back for a pitchfork. Ugh...

I still wouldn't go back to the suburbs for nuthin'.

It's Here.

Fall.

I used to really hate fall. It heralds the arrival of winter, and in WI, where I grew up, the winter was long, cold and hard. I remember piles of snow so high that they lingered long into the 70 degree spring days. It seemed so incongruous to be wearing shorts while stepping over snow piles.

Now, however, it's the peaceful waning of a busy summer. Not just in my life, but in life in general. Of course, in my life, with the kids back to school, no more vacation days from work (just to hang out with those summer guests), no more days packed to the gills with work outside, it really is getting more peaceful. I was thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas the other day, not with a dread, but with a quiet anticipation. I love the holidays, and I am determined that this year they will be peaceful and meaningful. No commercialism!! My kids are getting clothes and tools. L will love a tool set, and M can have more riding equipment. I already bought them a chef's hat and apron, and a subscription to Young Rider magazine. I think this will be the year it will happen!

As I went out to feed the horses tonight, I noticed that I heard NOTHING. Nothing at all. No crickets, locusts, coyotes, birds, NOTHING. There was no moon, and the stars were so bright and numerous. Again, such a change from the summer's evening bustle. I stopped a while, once again reminded by the stars that I am insignificant and fleeting, and just enjoyed the nothingness. Tomorrow I will turn off the radio in the barn, at least for a little while, so I can really hear the nothing. Tonight a plane flew over just to interrupt the nothing-- maybe tomorrow there will be true quiet. Maybe I needed tonight's "almost" quiet to ease into the real nothing I will hear tomorrow!

I saw three kittens tonight-- I wonder what happened to the 4th? I am so doting on them, but they hate me. The are kind of like children-- they just tolerate me because I feed them. : ) They are absolutely adorable, though. All kittens are sweet (aren't all babies?) but these have gray and white markings that just make them extra cute. It's all I can do to keep the distance they require.

Cats and Mice

Our barn cat had kittens, as I mentioned before. They are older, maybe 8-10 weeks old. So cute and playful! A couple of weeks ago it got down below 32, and I was worried about them-- they are so small! I found an old feed box around here, pressure washed it, reinforced it, and filled it with old hay. I thought it would be ideal for them to snuggle in inside the barn. My big plan was that they would come in each night, allowing me to sleep peacefully, not worrying that the coyotes were eating them. So, I lured them in with some food, and the first night I was unsuccessful. The second night, the one that got down below freezing, I was successful. I closed the barn before the babies and momma got out! I was pretty proud of myself, left some extra food, and closed the door with satisfaction. Those kittens won't freeze under my watch!!

I slept like a baby, and then sauntered out to the barn, dreaming of sweet kittens rubbing against my leg, suddenly tame with appreciation for my foresight and insistence that they come in out of the weather. Of course, I was dismayed to see that all the babies had escaped out a crack between the door and barn, and that only the momma was left! She was obviously distressed that the babies had gone without her. So much for my plans.

I let her out, and we did not see the cat family for several days. B had me convinced that they hated me and I had chased them off for good. Actually, they are back, but quite leary of me. Can't blame them, really. While my motives are pure, they are correct that I would scoop them up and snuggle with them any chance I could get!!

***

The day that I fashioned the kitty compound from the feed box, my son, L, went into the garage and was digging into the toybox for some tonka toys. I remembered that the last time I dug into a box, a mouse came flying out at me, causing me to scream with surprise! I was actually bitten by a mouse as a child (yes, a wild one, outside, and narrowly escaped having to receive rabies shots). I warned L that he should be careful about mice in the boxes. Sure enough, he lifted the lid on the toybox to find a momma mouse and her babies in there. She moved them as soon as she realized she was on display. They were really cute, bald and helpless and so tiny!

B said he had a mouse in his car. This is so poetic becuase B is the only person in Madison county who lives on a gravel road and drives this zippy little foreign sports car. So he babies this machine, and it's really funny that he found a tiny newborn mouse in his car. He said he put it outside, but that another baby was inside, he thought maybe in the dash. It has died, and the most gawdawful smell comes from the vent when you start it up! The luxurous leather smell is no more...

First Blog

We have been in our new house for five months now, and we decided that each day brings so much wonder that we needed to write down our experiences. It would be difficult to detail everything that we have seen and experienced, but off the top of my head...

-When we first moved in, there was a robin that built a nest right in the fork of the large maple tree in our backyard. She and her babies were about 4 feet off of the ground! We were so worried about the feral cat getting her babies. Sadly, while the cat did not get them, all of the eggs fell out in a windstorm. It's so hard to sit back and watch nature at work. Especially for us control freaks... She did not rebuild her nest, and we removed it from the tree to discourage her from returning. Too much stress!

-There were barn swallows right inside the barn this year. They are such attentive parents! Daddy Barn Swallow took care of Momma when she sat on her eggs. They took turns getting food and relieving each other. Same things when the babies were born. And are they protective! They will dive bomb anyone or anything that makes them feel threatened! I was glad when those four babies were grown and gone. I then encouraged the feral cat to eat in the barn (to try not to encourage the raccoons or other rodents to eat her food). Little did I know that Momma and Daddy would raise another family of babies in the same summer! They had flying lessons last week, and I was privileged to witness that amazing feat. How do they know?

-One of the first things we saw was a fox snake sunning himself on our driveway. The kids noticed it when they were riding bikes. "Foxy" was HUGE-- I bet he was over 3' long. He was amazing to see; his markings are reminiscent of a rattlesnake, but after looking him up we found out that he was not to be feared. He is actually a help, as he eats rodents.

-Yesterday B saw a milk snake sunning himself on the driveway. He said it was a reddish/coral color, and amazing to see. Of course we had no idea what he was, but we looked him up on the internet, and they said that they are rarely seen by people because they are so timid. What luck!

-After seeing "Foxy" in the driveway, we saw more fox snakes around the rafters in the garage/machine shed. Keep eating those rodents!

-Every night when we finish feeding the horses, we stand outside for a few minutes to soak up the amazing view of the stars. On a really crisp, clear night, it is absolutely breathtaking. They are so vivid, and there are so many of them! You instantly feel insignificant and like a small blip in time. Thinking about them being there for billions of years, our lifespan seems like seconds in comparison.

-Yesterday I was scratching Cosmo in his "crazy spot." We say he gets Elvis lips because he curls them back around in ecstasy when you scratch him! Anyway, he decided that he would reciprocate by "grooming" me. He was tearing at my shoulder and even pulled my hair! I felt bad when I screamed in pain-- he was just trying to return the favor!!

-B made friends with the "far away" neighbor today, Ken B. Ken is 80 years old, and lives on a farm 2 miles from the road. Hard to imagine plowing a driveway that long. Ken doesn't have indoor plumbing or heat. The things we take for granted!