poop

Warning! Potentially Too Much Information!! Not for the weak-stomached, or the humor impaired!!

Guess:

A) I had a shitty day.

B) My day was in the toilet.

C) Shit happens.

D) All of the above.

The correct answer is D. Yep, today was dedicated to poop.

You know, they say that farming is “animal husbandry.” I was thinking that term was somewhat creepy, and was steering clear of referring to myself as any type of animal “spouse.” Sheesh, that’s how rumors start. And you know there are always jokes about country folk and the sheep.

But after today, I realize where it comes from, and it’s entirely accurate. As a caretaker of livestock, farmer, herdswoman, whatever, you do things for your animals that you would only do for your spouse and your children. Seriously! Not only do you love them (watch it, you KNOW what I mean when I say love) but you care for them as though they are members of your family.

I came into the barn yesterday after the fair, and it looked as though the Boer Boys gang had tagged my barn. Graffiti everywhere. Not the usual kind of spray paint graffiti, but the spray poop kind. Ernie has developed projectile poop, and he had marked his gang sign all over the barn with his new artistic medium. He is not feeling well. Well, I take that back, he seems to be feeling fine but he is having some serious digestive issues. I have given him some medicine, and am hoping that he will improve tomorrow. I hope to come into the barn tomorrow and find it as clean as I left it, with no evidence of Boer Boys tagging.

He had poop all over his backside. It looked like he sat down like a dog in a mud puddle. B and I gave him a bath today, and he was actually fine with it. We didn’t expect that, since goats typically dislike water and rain. But he was good, and true to his personality, he liked the attention.

Of course, after I was done, I put him back in the paddock, where he proceeded to projectile poop all over himself and his clean butt again.

Just like children. I’m telling you…

The fly situation is not good. I am going to have to bring in the bug guns, I am afraid. I am investigating options for a barn fogger. I can’t stand to see the animals suffer with flies all over them, poor things. The horses are wearing their fly masks inside to keep them off their eyes.

And so I dedicate my mornings – and this morning was no exception—to ridding the barn of all poop. As I was doing that, I found a toad in the poop. That is really the answer to the fly issue, we need a plague of frogs to clean up all these pests.

I then carted the manure out to the pile, where I proceeded to lose a shoe in the poop. So, there I am, barefoot on the manure pile.

Like I said, the day went to crap.