bear with me

My &^*($#! internet is down again, and I am limping along using dialup. I have loads of pictures to post and lots to tell about Thanksgiving, but it will have to wait until I can get my high speed back.

Supposed to be Monday, but we have been down since November 9th. Arrgh!!!

Never, never, never, never, never buy Direcway.

Because I said so.

Before I had children, I said I would never tell them to do something "because I told you so." Now that I have children, I have cast aside all of my “I’ll never do thats” in favor of more traditional parental behavior.

“Because I said so” is much better than carefully explaining the reasons behind a decision. You can’t argue with “because I said so.” Case in point:

Me: “Hey, be sure to grab a coat when you go outside.”

L: “Why?”

Me: “Because it’s cold out!”

L: “I’m not cold.”

Me: "It's 30 degrees outside!"

L: "It doesn't feel that cold to me."

Me: “You may not feel cold now, but you will when you go outside.”

L: “No, really, mom, I won’t be. I’ll be fine.”

Me: (really irritated by now) You were sick with a sore throat yesterday! Put your coat on when you go outside!”

L: “But really, mom, I’m not sick today. I feel much better.”

Me: “I TOLD YOU TO PUT YOUR COAT ON WHEN YOU GO OUTSIDE! DO WHAT I SAY!!”

I should have just said “Because I said,” after the first time he asked “Why”!!

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

To say that today was the worst day of my life would be an overreaction, but let’s just say it has earned its place on the list of days I don’t want to repeat.

It really started last night, with a tragedy. L had a music conference, and we hurried out of the driveway, and one of the kittens was in the way, and it was hit by our car. I feel so badly, so incredibly sad. (I will elaborate on his condition later, but I will tell you now so you don’t wonder, that he is banged up, but okay.) I heard him meow, and then I pulled forward again, and he ran away. So I took that as a sign that he was not so injured that he could not move. I got out, of course, and couldn’t find him, but I could hear him meowing. We had to go, because L had a concert, and he was graded on his attendance. We were already running late.

So when we got home, I took out the flashlight and looked for him with no luck. I did not sleep well all night, wondering and worrying about him. I prayed that he died quickly, or that he was only mildly hurt. I looked forward to the morning when I could go out and look again for him.

I went out as soon as the alarm went off at 5:30 with no luck.

I came in, and L had a sore, swollen throat, and we made the call that he would stay home, and I would stay home with him. We got M out the door to school.

I decided that I should go into work and pick up a few projects that I could work on from home. I can take L with me if necessary, and he plays in my office and draws, etc., while I take care of business, so that was fine. He came out to the car less than appropriately dressed, so I sent him back in with my keys so he could change.

He came back out, sure to lock the door, without my keys… he had locked us out!

So B had to come home and unlock the door. While sitting in the car, waiting for B, we saw the kitten come out from his hiding. His back leg looks broken or bruised, but he is putting weight on it and is able to walk. So we fashioned up the sick quarters just like we did for Bub, about this time a year ago. While I did not take him to the vet, I presume the same rx applies: “cage rest and neglect.” We bought him some canned food and gave him some blankets, his own litter box and fresh water in his kennel, and he is sleeping and resting very soundly. I think he will be fine in a few weeks.

I then made the trip into work, and took care of business.

When we got back, it was so nice outside that we let the goats out. They have been in their pens for a week or so, and while their pens are large enough that they have room to play and run around, there is nothing like a big paddock and some fresh air to bring out the spring in your step. I reasoned about what to do with Joe Llama, since he really isn’t that tame at this point, but I decided that being away from the goats would distress him, and he would likely have bonded with them enough at this point, that he would comply with my wishes so he could be near them.

I’m thinking you know where this is going…

All was well, and I was looking out the window admiring my flock, when the goats got crazy-spooky-squirrelly and ran around the paddock, spooking Joe Llama so that he ran frantically to the corner, and proceeded to jump the fence! Of course, the fence is 5’ high, and he could not easily jump it, so he was literally hanging from the fence on the other side. His leg was stuck in the fence panel, too! Of course, I ran out immediately, and as soon as I got out there, he had extracted himself (leaving a chunk of wool on the fence), and was limping around on three feet. Oy vey! And then he was in the big pasture, where previously we had not been able to catch him. Fortunately, I used the goats to lure him back into the paddock, but he was frantic, and I was not up for chasing him around and making him more upset. So there they stayed.

I came back inside, and the phone rang. It was our pastor, and he was reminding me that M was 20 minutes late for her confirmation class! I had not even checked my calendar! So we rushed off to that.

When we came back, I decided to start trying to get Joe back inside before it got dark. I was out there for 1.5 hours before the kids came out and helped me. We cornered him and I was able to get his halter on without incident, and by this time he had stopped limping.

Everyone got fed, watered, and tucked in for the night.

If ever there was a night that I needed a drink, it is tonight.

Full Circle

As I was driving home from work today, it occurred to me that some things in my life had come full circle.

When I was growing up, I had a boyfriend (let’s call him “S”). I dated him from when I was a sophomore in high school until I was a sophomore in college, when I met B. This man’s family was farmers. His father, his grandfather, and his grandfathers before them farmed the same land. At one time, they had a large operation, with dairy cattle, hogs and a lot of crops. While the operation had been scaled down some, they were working to build it back up. His grandfather had become a seed dealer, and the two sons had taken over the operation. S hoped to take over the operation from his father and his uncle, and farm full-time. As it was, his uncle’s wife worked off the farm to support the family, and his father worked full time also, as a truck driver. S went to college and studied agriculture in hopes that he could save his family’s farm from the crisis that occurred in the mid 80’s.

S was very independent, which was not so much a function of being the child of a farmer than being the child of his father, who was somewhat dysfunctional. S worked non-stop on the farm, as a junior in high school I remember him putting in 20-hour days, week after week. He did poorly in school and there were times that he and I did not see each other for weeks, and even then it was often because I chose to come to his farm and spend time with him there. He did not live in my town and go to my school, he lived about 40 minutes from me.

While S and I were not right for each other, he did teach me a whole lot about farming. I helped where I could (the summer of 2005 was NOT the first time I baled hay). He taught me a lot about implements and what they were used for. I know quite a lot about dairy farming and how that whole process works. I have milked cows, and I have nurtured piglets. I remember so clearly one day after we had stacked the hay in the haymow, just lying on our backs, resting, feeling the breeze come in one side of the mow and out the other. I remember the tiniest kittens running about in the haymow—it seems they lived their entire lives up there.

I will not forget that day, not because of anything that has to do with S, but because the feel, the smell, and the sounds just radiated peace. When I was in labor, I focused on a peaceful place. Not Hawaii, not a hot tub, not even the Eiffel Tower—I focused on that day in the haymow. Peace and tranquility.

One thing I disliked about S’s chosen field was that his car always stank. He had a white Trans Am, and he let me drive it anytime I wanted. I would drive it home and keep it for the weekend (sounds crazy now!). But it was the roving pigmobile. It stank like livestock, and there was no getting rid of the smell. He would always say, “Oh, L, it smells like money!” But truthfully, I think he could not smell it as strongly as I could.

This past weekend B cleaned out the barn for me, as I had to work. He cleaned out the horse stalls to the bare earth (no small feat). He bought fresh bedding and hay, and stacked it all in the barn. However, he did drive my car (a SUV) to accomplish all of this. I drove it Sunday, and when I got in, I immediately smelled manure. I forgot about it, as I was (appropriately) taking L to 4H. However, as I drove to work today in my new Evan Piccone suit, I was considering that I likely looked great, but smelled like a barn, and that, like S, I could probably not even smell the full impact.

As I was driving home, I was reminded of the same thought. I stopped and washed my car—shampooing the carpets even. But I did stop to think about how the smell was different this time. In 1986 I was headed down the path of least resistance. I had a boyfriend, we had plans for marriage, and my life was laid out in front of me. I would not go to college, (or if I did, I’d stay close to home). I’d be a farmer’s wife and put my heart and soul into the farm.

Today, in my thoughts, I decided that my leaving him was not about resentment of being a farmer’s wife, it was about wanting to choose my life. I wanted to be in charge of my future, and not have decisions made for me because of my husband’s family, or what was expected. Ironically, even though I did not choose S, I am drawn back to farming. And, even more ironically, I am able to put to use some of the knowledge he passed along to me.

So today, I find myself searching again for that peaceful place. I see glimpses of it now and then, so I know it’s here. But this time, the peace will be on my terms.

the odds are definitely NOT in our favor

There is always some sort of excitement here. With a 4.5:1 animal to human ratio, the excitement usually centers around a furry child. Today was no exception.

We awoke this morning, intending to go to church, and I went through my normal routine of getting up and going to the barn before showering and getting ready. I was greeted by the usual nickering, humming, meowing and baa-ing that I expect, but one was a little more urgent than usual. I didn’t notice at the time.

A few minutes later, it occurred to me that Ernie had not run to the side of the pen and jumped up to greet me. But he was talking to me. Upon further inspection, I noticed that his head was stuck!

We have a “keyhole feeder” for the hay. There are many different versions of this type of feeder, but the general idea is that the goat can only stick their head in to eat the hay. Goats are notorious wastrels when it comes to hay, and if they can only stick their heads in to get it, you can at least help to contain it. Otherwise, they paw at it and pee on it and use it for bedding, and they will not eat dirty hay.

So our keyhole feeder is a piece of something-or-other that we found when we moved in. It looks like “jail bars” and it’s a panel about 2.5 feet high by three feet wide. It was perfect for putting in the corner of their pen and keeping the hay at least somewhat contained.

But Ernie got his head wedged in there and couldn’t get it out!!

The trick was to use the sawzall on the bars and bend them apart to get his head unstuck. We couldn’t do it in the pen, though, as there is hay and straw everywhere and we couldn’t risk a spark. So we had to remove the panel and carry it out into the middle of the barn—with Ernie’s head still stuck in it! And then we gave him some alfalfa, which put him into a blissful state, causing him to not be affected in the least by the power tool operating just inches from his head.

Darn goat, should have took the sawzall to his horns!

We didn’t make it to church.

check out yesterday's sunrise

This was actually taken before sunrise. We looked out, and saw an amazing pinkish/purple sky, with this beam coming up from the horizon. In the photo, the light actually looks like the sun is up, but at this point, it's still behind the horizon. Click on it to make it bigger-- it's amazing and I have never seen anything like it!

ranting

I have been without my high-speed internet access since last Wednesday. We came home to find the satellite modem lights blinking the “blink of death.” You know, usually they are doing something that looks constructive, but there is a certain point where you know the thing is dead, just by the way the lights are going on and off. They look as though they are not doing anything constructive.

So I called up Direcway and told them about the problem. Okay, well, let’s back up.

I called Direcway and spoke to their tech support in India. They were very friendly and helpful, except that they were determined that my problem was a low signal. I tried to convey that the lights were blinking on and off steadily, not randomly like they often do when they are searching for a signal.

About 55 minutes later, I had been transferred to a higher level of tech support, and we had gone through all of the same diagnostics that had been administered in the lower level of tech support, and the technician determined that we needed a new modem. Okay, I think I said that…

He arranged for shipment of a new one that should arrive in 5-7 business days. In the meantime, he set up a dial up account for us, but was ultimately unable to give me the username and password because the database which generates those was down. He told me to “call back later.”

Later was Friday, as B’s parents were in town, and we were busy. I spent an additional 75 minutes on the phone with tech support that day. After being transferred from India back to New York, I was able to easily get the username and password that were promised to me, and I asked the support tech to confirm that a new modem had been ordered for me. It had NOT been ordered! Of course, the second tech could not authorize the shipment of a new modem until we had gone through all of the diagnostics that we had gone through in the very first call.

Last night we received the modem. The modem needs to be registered and initialized, and it was determined that some earlier problems I had were attributed to a low signal (though the modem was, in fact, dead) so we needed to review issues with the satellite transponder. I was transferred twice, and spent another 88 minutes on the phone, where I was then disconnected! I called back, and was told that I would need to wait 36 minutes on hold to be connected to someone at the level from which I was just disconnected!

I waited and called back again about ½ hour later, and was told that my wait time would not be more than 2-3 minutes. He then came back and said it would be more than 10 minutes. I decided +/- 10 minutes wouldn’t be a big deal. But I was steaming mad when they finally picked up the phone 46 minutes later! Of course, they read the case review, but still had to go through the same diagnostics. At this time it was 12:15 am, and I still had no internet access. He told me that he would need to put the information in the system to change the transponder, and that I should give it about ½ hour and call back! I wanted to ask him if he could just put me on hold, as that should take about ½ hour for someone to pick up the phone anyway! But it was too late and I needed to go to bed. That call took 58 minutes.

They also told me that there are two transponders on the horizontal and vertical axes that I am trying to lock onto. The support person said, “we will change it in the computer and hope it locks onto the one with the stronger signal strength. If it doesn’t someone will have to come out and configure it from your house.” Oh joy. This could take a while.

I wonder how long the call will be this afternoon to finish the job (or maybe “finish” is too optimistic?).

I HATE THIS COMPANY!!!!!!!! I hated the cable company for being such a gorilla, but Direcway is much, much worse. Customers like me are the perfect “captive audience” because we are screwed if we need high speed internet—they are the only option. No DSL out here, no cable, nothing but satellite, and they are the only provider.

Oh, and regardless of your thoughts on outsourcing call centers to other countries, don’t you think the individuals should at least be familiar with the geography, the time zones in the U.S. and the protocol? I was asked how the weather was in “Idaho;” I was told just to call back in a few minutes, and I could not make them understand that it was IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT HERE; and they gave me a phone number with too many digits.

Okay, done with rant.

i'm full

My brain is full! I learned a lot from the chakra workshop I attended. It wasn’t one of those times where you are overwhelmed with so much information and “newness” and excitement that you can’t contain your enthusiasm, then you come home with resolve and ambition, but somehow don’t ever get there…

This was different. It is a quiet thing, very subtle and personal. It’s about being aware, about always thinking about who is looking out of your eyes and living inside of your body. Why you operate the way you do, and how to change the patterns of behavior inside of yourself that hinder your progress toward your goals and self-actualization.

The quietness is good for so many reasons. First and foremost, it means that it’s not going to lose the fizzle quick. It’s going to be easy to implement and continue. Secondly, it is so complementary with other things in a person’s life. You are not asked to replace your religion, relationships, or to forsake all of the behaviors that you currently have. The big steps are just about awareness and understanding. Making peace with who you are, and why you are who you are. If you can’t make peace, then you work quietly, peacefully, steadily, to make it to where you want to go and who you want to be.

Keeping Warm

It’s that time again. Bitter cold, near-zero windchills, frozen buckets. This year there are more buckets!

As I have mentioned before, our bedroom has no heating ducts. Both of the kids’ rooms have heat, but ours does not. We just have each other. : ) But even with all of the doors upstairs open, it makes for a chilly room! And with that nippy west wind whipping through, I swear my bedroom had a windchill this morning…

Even so, extracting my body from under the cozy covers was bad enough, but not nearly as difficult as convincing myself to step from the warm house to the freezing outdoors at 5:30 am… it took a bit of convincing.

The barn is pleasant. Of course, there is no wind, but the animals keep it warm with their body heat and their breath. And they are always happy to see me. So it makes it all worthwhile. And after a few minutes saying my good mornings, I am warm and have forgotten about the cold (until I have to step outside, break the ice on the 4 water buckets, fill them with icy cold water, and then carry them back to the barn without sloshing the water on my leg and soaking my pants). That kind of warming—from the inside out—really stays with you.

Happy Wednesday!

P.S. Today I am going to a chakras workshop— here is the link to an article about the seminar. Makes you want to come, doesn’t it!

okay, so you’ll never believe this story, but I swear to the Almighty that it’s true

This weekend we dog-sat for MK’s dog Porsche. He came around 9:00 this evening to pick her up, and B and I were lazing around watching a movie with the dogs. I was snuggled up under a quilt, and for some very, very odd reason we didn’t hear MK’s car come down the road or up the driveway (that has to be a first—we notice EVERYTHING—but the movie WAS really good…). The dogs heard NOTHING, and only barked when he knocked on the door.

Anyway, B came out to help him load her gear up and MK asked what animals we had in our backyard. B said that we didn’t have anything, but noticed that the leaves were rustling. Upon further inspection, he saw faces, and came quickly to the conclusion that there were cows in our backyard. About 20 of them. Of course, like most men, when faced with danger or urgency, he called for his wife. : ) I called the neighbors because they have cattle behind us—but really far behind us, and it didn’t seem logical that they were theirs, but whose else’s could they have been?

So they came roaring over. The neighbor that lives close is the dad, and his two sons also have cattle, so they came over as well (though they don’t live that close). They immediately discerned that the cattle were not theirs. Then we all thought maybe that they belonged across the road (at Bubba’s house). So they called BK, the landlord, and asked if they were his cattle. He lives about 20 miles away, so we waited for quite a while and got to know them a little better. He came over and determined that they were indeed his cattle. For them to have come into our backyard, however, would have meant that they would have had to walk about ¼ mile down the road, and just mosey up the hill of our driveway, walk past the barn and down into the backyard. Oh, and without getting hit. Strange but true, that’s how it happened.

So, then BK starts calling his cattle, and proceeded to have a mini cattle drive out the yard, down the driveway, down the road, into Bubba’s driveway, and back to the corral from whence they came. It was pretty obvious that Bubba’s kid left the gate open when she got the pony out, and the pony and two horses were out as well. But they all went back in, slick as a whistle. Unbelieveable. I will ask B tomorrow if this was all a weird, weird dream.

Our dogs are SO fired.

progress with joe llama

B’s parents are visiting this week/weekend, and we had a nice brunch at the Hotel Pattee in Perry, Iowa. You should visit if you get the chance!

I had a chance to spend some quiet time with Joe Llama today, and he actually took alfalfa from my hand. It’s a start! Tomorrow I will work with him on a longe line (just leading, no exercises or anything), and we’ll hope it gets better from there.

He is so cool, he makes this humming noise, kind of like a sheep or goat’s baa, but it’s quieter and more of a hhmmmm noise.

I didn’t know that llamas hummed.

Go figure.

How to catch a llama

Joe Llama has been here 2 days, and we are still not good friends. : ( The first day we kept him inside in his stall with Cindi, and that worked out fine. Yesterday we put him in the paddock with all of the goats, and they became fast friends. However, when it came time to put everyone in the barn for the evening, the goats went fine but Joe Llama did not want to go in. We ran that poor guy ragged around the paddock trying to get his halter on him. The fun and games ended when I fell down, and we decided to open the paddock gate and the barn door, and try to drive him from one into the other. Well, that worked fine, except he took a sharp right and went into the large pasture.

So there we were, with a three-acre pasture, and a llama roaming somewhere down there in the dark…

Joe Llama spent the night outside.

This morning, we heard that bad weather was coming (did you hear about all the tornadoes in Iowa? Not too far from here…). So we needed to get Joe back up to the barn. I chased him around for an hour, and got nowhere but tired. And I probably didn’t do much to endear myself to him.

We decided to let him rest, and then later we sent Rocky outside to try and corral him in. Now Rocky is known around our house by several nicknames, most of which translate to “dumb.” He is a loving, wonderful guy. But he is dumber than a box of hammers.

One time, however, he managed to get into the pasture with Kitten. She started pawing and snorting (think of a bull in a bullfight—get the picture?), and Rocky knew the signs. He took off so fast he was practically a blur. So we decided he could take care of himself if Joe got too aggressive. Raven would try and make friends, and wouldn’t read the signs of aggression.

So, Rocky went out, I told him to get the llama, and he chased him around the pasture for a while, ultimately getting him into the paddock! Not without disturbing him greatly, causing the llama to make this horrendous clucking noise (the warning before spitting) and sending him into a state of panic. BUT, he was IN THE PADDOCK! And we were back to square one.

Again, we let him rest for a while, and put the goats and horses back out there so he would have calming company. That did the trick, and we went out to get him the final time. We had to entice him by standing with the herd in a corner of the paddock, so he could feel like he was not with the herd (with hopes that he would want to join in), and also to let him see that the rest of the herd trusts us. It actually worked some, by keeping him calm and letting us approach slowly. We finally got a rope around his neck, and then his halter on, and talked quietly and calmly to him, and then peacefully led him to his stall. Like it was a non-event.

But it was a HUGE event, and I never want to go through that again! Joe Llama will be staying in the barn for at least a couple of weeks until he can learn to trust that we will not hurt him, and come when he is called. I can take him outside on the longe line, and that is all the playing outside that he will get. Hopefully next time I can report on our blossoming friendship.

Help Wanted.

Help Wanted!

Goat herder needed. Prefer candidate that is tall, herd-oriented, has a keen eye (and distaste) for canines. Preference will be given to individuals with big brown eyes, long eyelashes and thick fur. Benefits include full room and board, a great employer and loving charges. Please contact us.

Good news! The job’s been filled—Our newest staff member at our farm: Joe Llama.


What a saddo I am— our internet access is down for several days. Somehow we fried the modem (we connect via satellite), and we are waiting for a replacement to be shipped. It may be as long as a week! In any case, we have driven to a wireless access point so I can share the news about Joe Llama!

Happy weekend.

P.S. Look at this picture of Erine and Bert, the farm SpokesGoats!

And you think MY animals are bad?

Check out this link.