you are totally not going to believe this

So today the kids and I leave about 4:30 to go to the feed store. Ernie and Bert want some chow.

As we leave, we drive past Bubba's house, and we see "Annie" (his 11-year-old stepdaughter) riding a pony in their front yard. Now, this is not a huge surprise, since Annie has told us she wanted a pony since she moved in. Her landlord keeps horses and a pony at the farm, though I don't know if the pony is hers or the landlord's-- and I don't care. I wave back to her and I drive past.

So we are driving home, and as I am nearing my house, I see something ahead in the road. It's Annie and the pony, walking away from my house, back toward her house. She is walking it like a dog. Of course, when we pull into the driveway, she turns around and starts back to our house.

Immediately, I am shouting at my kids, "She can't bring that pony here! I have no idea if it has had its shots, it will spook our horses (and all kinds of other irrational reasons)! They are agreeing with me, and shocked that she would be so unsafe.

I go in the house, because somehow, they have a much more diplomatic way of handling it than I do. It seems easier for her to take, "friend-to-friend" rather than coming from me. Or, at least, I told her not to let the dogs come over, and they ignored me. When L told her he was going to shoot her dogs, they mysteriously stopped coming over (most of the time).

I watch them outside the window at the end of the driveway. She is smacking the pony and jerking his halter around, and he is actually being so good just standing there. Major would never be so low maintenance! She grabs his hoof and tells him to "lift" and stands in front of him to pick it up. She leads on the right side, she wrapped the lead rope around her waist (I'm cringing at the thought). I realize now how much my kids know and how safe they act out of habit. They both said something to her about riding without a helmet, which also seemed to me especially dangerous, given the fact that she was RIDING WITH NO SADDLE OR BRIDLE, WEARING TENNIS SHOES, ON A GRAVEL ROAD!!!! What smart kids I have!!

What was the clincher, though, was that when I came into the house, I realized that there was a giant puddle of horse piss right outside of my back door. Yes, she came over, pony in hand, stood at the back door with him, knocking for the kids, and he lets loose on my back step.

The entire back porch smells like urine. It's gross. I love horses, and to me they don't smell too badly. However, there is a reason that we use fragrant and absorbent pine shavings in the stalls.

She finally took him home, after I came out and told her she couldn't bring him here. I was left standing on my porch, scratching my head, wondering how much it would cost to put up a fence with a gate across my driveway.