A Snowed-in Sunday

My trip and meeting went quite well. No stress, thanks to Lexapro. It's good to medicate your type A. : ) Or at least your inner Martha. Seriously, I was much better at being on the ball, without losing sleep over it. A very, VERY good combination for me.

We got word that there was a serious storm forecast for our area (not where the meeting was, but where my home is), so we kept a close eye on it, and decided to bail out a few hours early. Not good for staff to do, but there were no members around either, they all went home too. We beat the ice storm home-- the trees were icing up just as we pulled onto our road. We couldn't have timed it more perfectly.

I couldn't have left that hotel room quick enough. It was HORRIBLE! I think I have only stayed in a hotel that bad one time in my life, and I knew I was staying in a hole that previous time. It was sort of a "nostalgic" trip to my hometown, and I knew the property had gone downhill. It was also cheap, though the meeting hotel this week was not cheap, relatively speaking.

If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that my job requires some travel, but I had traveled internationally with one of my accounts prior to 2006. At the end of 2005 I requested to be taken off that account and put onto some local accounts. I only travel within the state (or just outside of it) since that time. The client who just had the meeting is lead by a staff member that I also used to work with on that international account. He and I have traveled all over the world together, literally. Off the top of my head, we've been to Bermuda, Miami, New York, and London. There were a few others, but they escape me now. Anyway, we were discussing that we both had suites on the 19th floor of the Trump Sonesta Hotel right on Miami Beach a few years ago. I am not kidding when I say that had the suites had 4 bedrooms, they would have dwarfed my house. I had a huge living room, a full-size kitchen with a garbage disposal, stainless appliances, granite countertops-- the works. My bathroom was palacial, complete with a bidet (a luxury that I absolutely adore, not to provide TMI). We joked that it was quite a contrast to the dump we stayed in this week-- he said his room had a big chunk out of the wall, mine had a lampshade that was all melted and cracked. There was no closet, just a cheap (probably screw-together-Sauder furniture) wardrobe in the corner. It was barely big enough for my suitcase to sit in the bottom of it. My boss is tall, and he had to duck through the really low hallways. There were circular lamps down the halls between each of the rooms, but at some point they decided to cut the amount of lamps in half, so they removed every other one. In place of each lamp there was a flat outlet cover, but you could still see the holes behind the cover where the lamps were supposed to go, and a nasty brown ring on the wallpaper. My room had a view of the parking lot. The heating and cooling didn't work in my room, so I just left it off the entire time and slept in sweatpants and a sweatshirt.


View from the Trump Hotel Room



Bathroom in the Trump Hotel


The Exact Suite I Had


The same Austin Powers decor, but a million times cleaner than in real life. (and the lampshades look new)

Last night we had about 8 inches of snow, on top of 1/4" of ice. Power lines were down, telephones were out, etc. It is a nasty mess all over our state. We had some tree limbs and branches down, but we did not have any power outages. Only the internet was down for a few hours. Can't really complain about that.

We are alive, well, warm, full, and together. What more could we ask for? Oh, and as a bonus, I just had an email that school is delayed by 2 hours. I love snow days! :)

Homesick

I'm away from home for work again, back very late on Saturday. I came home today at noon, before leaving, and I soaked up all of the quietness at home. It was really a great way to regroup before this crazy time.

B is taking care of business at home, and he is being run ragged, between something every evening, the farm chores, and feeding the baby goats in addition to cooking and cleaning and getting everyone ready for school and out the door, etc. He has been a trooper, and I just appreciate all of his help.

I sure miss my home, and I definitely miss B and the kids. I'm exhausted, however, so I am off to bed.

Counting down the days til I get to go back home.

A Little Peace

Thank you for the nice emails and comments that you left after my post on Thursday.

I am feeling better, for several reasons. Time does have a way of unclouding the confusion that emotion brings on.

Of course, I have also been reading everything I can find on this, and after reading and re-examining the babies, it is pretty clear that they were premature. Their teeth had not yet erupted, and they are quite small. They may have been viable upon their birth, but B pointed out that even if we could take "heroic" measures and keep them alive, what is the cost, and what are the long-term effects? Will they always be sickly? Will the medicine/treatments cost more than the goats would ever be worth?

I don't want to sound callous-- these issues are very difficult for me personally, and that is part of coming to terms with the way farming is done. While you have to love your animals and love what you do, and love ON your animals if you want them to produce (and also love them and get to know them so you can tell when they are "not themselves" and sick), but you have to be callous enough to pay attention to the bottom line. There is no sense in having an animal that will not produce for you, if it is costing you. That is bad business and will put you OUT of business. So I continue to struggle with that.

But I feel a little better about the babies.

I now struggle with an other doe that is sick (not pregnant, though), and I am treating her. I also worry about the third doe yet to kid, and if there is some sort of infection going around in the barn. It is warming up-- which I had begged for-- but now with the warmer temperatures, the viruses/bacteria are back.

I am also getting ready to go out of town for a meeting. I leave Wed and come back Saturday night late. Cross your fingers for my wonderful husband. He is a brave man. : ) (then again, you knew that already-- he's been married to me for a few years!)

Devastation

Last night I bought feed, and I spent some extra time in the barn with the animals, as I cleaned up and mixed the feed ration. I took stock of Tango, as we don't know her kidding due date. I noticed that she had not made much of an udder, did not have a discharge, etc. I commented that perhaps she would kid after Cindi, who is due March 4. Initially, we thought she might kid a couple of weeks after Precious.

We were right the first time. I came out this morning to two beautiful doelings, dead. I don't know if they were stillborn or if they died from exposure. They were not frozen, though they were cold. They had not moved from where they were born, and one had not been cleaned off. Neither had nursed. I milked only about a cup of colostrum out of Tango.

I am so, so, so sad. I just feel sick.

: (

Tango is doing okay, physically. She is crying for her babies. Then again, so am I.

I hate Valentine’s Day. (Warning: gushy and mushy)

I need to qualify that—I’m all about the romance, and of course we always try to do something special for each other on Feb 14, but therein lies the problem. We always do special things for each other. We often text message each other, we tell each other we love each other several times a day, we call just to say hi, we hold hands, etc.

We have bought each other cards and special gifts “just because.” I know he is a major chocoholic, so I will bring him brownies from work whenever we have lunch catered in, etc. He knows I love orange juice, so he keeps it made in the fridge for whenever I get thirsty for some. He does the dishes every morning, and I thank him. I do the laundry, and he thanks me. We never lose appreciation for each other, or what we do for each other. We are the best of friends, and thankful for that relationship. We know that we could never be with anyone else—our idiosyncrasies have become so, well, uniquely idiosyncratic, that the puzzle pieces that we are could never fit exactly with any other, after all of these years. We are just ourselves with each other, and melted together so perfectly, very much at ease. And we KNOW that, and we APPRECIATE that, and we EXPRESS that appreciation every single day.

So then Valentine’s Day comes along. Most people (or so my therapist tells me) don’t do these things regularly. So they take a day once a year to gush about their love for their mate. They buy a $4.00 card that says all the things that their mouths don’t say, so their love can save that card and remember that one special February 14th when it was so romantic and special, and their mate told them everything they wanted and needed to hear. They go out to dinner, get dressed up, take time away from the daily grind and earmark some special time with no kids, no cell phones, etc. In Honor of Valentine's Day.

But see, we do that every day. Our kids go to bed early, and we have a Netflix subscription (that is well-used). We watch movies or even past seasons from shows we love on DVD nearly every night. Even a night spent working in the barn is usually good fun, with lots of conversation, silliness and definitely togetherness. We don’t need to celebrate our togetherness on one special day. We are always aware of our bond, and we nurture it every day because we like to, In Honor of Us.

But what would happen if I didn’t get him a card today? They are all so lame, they just say what I always say—that I am thankful every day for him in my life, that I love him so much, and I can’t imagine life without him, I thank him for our beautiful children and the life we have together. But what would one think if a wife did not get her husband a card or present on this Sacred Day? What would one think if a husband did not buy his wife flowers on this Sacred Day? What would they think at my work, if everyone else got flowers and I did not? Trouble in Paradise? Did he forget? Oh, now he'll "owe" her a double-sized bouquet! He's sleeping on the couch for sure! Not that we have to do it for others, but it does get to be a little about keeping up with the Jones'.

It’s a strange situation, I know. So here’s to an anticlimactic Valentine’s Day. I hope yours is as good as mine, which will be fabulous-- as good as yesterday.

P.S. Updated at 11:40 am: I just got a beautiful bouquet of a dozen red roses. So now I feel like a dork. But I still don't know what I should get him!

Snow Day!

Today is a snow day, and rightly so. It's miserable out there! Windy, snowy, and cold. I can easily work from home, so I get the honor of staying home with the kids. I like snow days, as I can toss in a load of laundry, or get a few things done in between projects.

This morning when B and I were doing morning chores (bless his heart, he has started helping me since it has been so bitterly cold), the conversation went something like this:

B: It's so cold out here!! I can't imagine anything colder than standing out here filling buckets, other than ICE FISHING! Those people have to be NUTS to sit out there for hours! It's cold enough when you're doing something, but when you're just sitting there in the cold, it has to be downright frigid!

Me: You know, that's a good idea. When I was waiting for Precious to kid, I was so cold just because I was just sitting there. When I am working, I am not that cold, but just sitting there it was really bad. Maybe we should look for some ice fishing gear!? Do you suppose they make gear specific to ice fishing?

B: It's called beer. The miracle drug. It makes ugly people look sexy and cold people feel warm.

The Mother and Child Reunion

Did not go well.

Well, it did not go poorly, either, but it was not as touching as we had hoped.

We bundled the kids up yesterday in new sheepskin lined fleece coats, and took them out to the barn to see momma. It was 37, and plenty warm for them to be outside. B had to stop up all of the holes that the cats had dug in their efforts to forge a path to China (or outside of the barn). So it was late yesterday when we finally finished. We had hoped that the newly reunited family could spend a cozy evening together. We warmed up the kid house, bought them new coats to go visiting, and were ready for the magic to happen.

When we brought them out, they were very uninterested in their momma. She was interested in them, in a curious sort of way. She seemed curious about their smell and that they were so small. It was not a recognition interest in the least.

I tucked them on their knees under her belly and encouraged them to nurse, which they did. She stood still as long as she was eating, but after that had little patience in letting them nurse. When they lost the teat out of their mouths, they had no idea where to look to find it again. We left them out for sometime, and it did not help. She did eventually do a little head butting of them as they made a little ruckus. I don’t think she was threatened or angry with them, just mildly annoyed.

So, for the warm time being, we will bring them out with us in the afternoons and mornings to get a little drink from momma. We will not continue to milk her, as there seems to be no point in trying to continue feeding them her milk if they are nursing from her most times a day. It is a lot of work, and the milk dries up much faster than if the babies are nursing.

I would not say we have given up, but we have given up on it going smoothly and being instinctive to them. We’ll continue to encourage them, but not make plans that they will definitely get back together as a family anytime soon.

And so it goes.

Goat Milking 101

You wouldn’t think it would be that hard, and it’s not. It’s just like everything else: anyone can pretty much do it, but once you get it down to a science, you realize there is somewhat of an art to it. I have yet to find that art.

First, it’s colder than you can believe. One must have warm hands to milk effectively. However, after working at it for a while, your hands do warm up.

Second, one cannot milk a moving target. It’s necessary to have enough food for the animal to last as long as you need to milk her out. Some people put their goats on a milking stand, and we only have a fitting stand (holds the head so they can’t eat—milking stands allow the animal to eat). We are considering buying an additional piece to allow us to use our stand for both. So we milk in the stall, and hope I’m done before she is.

Third, you need a good milking stool, which I don’t have. I am using a low bucket of goat minerals. It hurts my knees and back to crouch over.

Fourth, you need a good collection vessel. We don’t have the requisite stainless steel milk bucket, but I am eyeing them on eBay. I am currently using my Pampered Chef Batter Bowl, which is big and heavy and glass, and also has a cover. Keeping the cats out is very difficult, let me tell you, so the lid comes in handy.

And the hardest part is actually milking her. A Boer goat’s teat is very tiny compared to a cow’s—maybe even smaller than my pinky finger. One’s hand does not grasp around the teat easily to squeeze it when it’s that small. So I struggle with the motion of milking her. I am getting better, and now can do both sides at once, but I still feel like I must be hurting her.

Typically she gives about a quart of milk at a time, twice a day. So she is doing well. Her babies drink more than that, but it’s all we can expect from her when her babies are not nursing directly. We supplement with milk replacer.

Hopefully we can get them back out to momma soon. If it would only warm up…

Wallace and Wen-doe-lene

Here is a video of them scampering around in our mudroom. Yes, don't you love that tile?



More still photos:

Current Conditions - Saturday, 8:00 am

Yeah, I'm just getting ready to go outside to do chores. I'm late, cuz I slept in, and cuz I knew the weather news was grim. Makes me want to just run right out there. Actually, that's exactly what I *WOULD* do (run), if there wasn't ice everywhere and I didn't risk breaking my neck. So it will be 45 minutes of cautious busy-ness...



Wish me luck.

Oh, I am editing this to add that I am blogging from my bed. The bed is nice and warm, as I have said before. I need to add, however, that we do not have heat in this old farmhouse bedroom. There are 4 bedrooms upstairs, and the two kids' rooms are the only ones with heat ducts. So the temperature in my room is a toasty 48 degrees. Now I know why folks used to wear caps to bed at night. I DON'T WANT TO GET UP!!!