There it is folks. In Black and White.

This statistic was quoted from an article published 8/23/2004 regarding the Coalition to Support Iowa's Farmers. I alluded to similar numbers before, which I just gleaned from conversation regarding farmers. Now I have some statistical evidence to back it up.

Also, FYI, I live in Madison County, but Dallas County is just north of me a few miles. Our counties in Iowa are very small. So this is "my neck of the woods."

"The median household income in Dallas County is $48,528. A farmer must sell 1,427 head of 750-pound feeder steers or nearly 6,700 farrow-to-finish hogs annually to equal that income, based on the 10-year average return for each commodity."

Folks, do the math. Even I, math-challenged as I am, can see that it works out to:

1 cow (profit, in 2004)=$34.00
1 pig (profit, in 2004) = $7.25

Firstly, if you have a "feeder steer" that means that you keep the momma cow, and she has a baby. That baby costs you nothing to buy. So here you are with this baby. You feed it until it's fat enough to go to market-- that is usually from the spring until the fall. Your costs are vet bills, any feed you need, the cost of keeping the mother healthy, shots, etc. Secondly, the acreage required to keep those two cattle-- the momma and baby-- is about 2 acres (conservatively) per pair. So you are going to get 1 feeder cow per 2 acres. Which means, for those 1,427 feeder cows, you need to have about 2850 acres on which to graze those cattle. That is a LOT of land.

Never will I complain about the cost of meat again. That is a killer way to make a living, and such a tight margin.

Let's all have steak tonight!!

Good Friends

Shameful Case of Animal Abuse

And all my talk about Bubba.

Poor Rocky. I should be reported for being a bad dog mom. Every year I shave his fur in the summer. He has that coarse lab coat, but underneath he has the wispy, thick, fleecy hair that must be really hot. It's also the kind of fur that travels in packs, banding together in herds of dust rhinos, plotting to gang up on my vacuum.

So I shave him.

It works for both of us. He has to be hot with that fur, especially today, when it's 95 degrees and we don't have a/c.

Usually I use a 1/4" guard on the clippers, but it just "combs out" the fleece and gets in the way. This time I just did without the guard, but I didn't expect his fur to grow all kinds of ways. Some hair was cut short, other hair was cut bald. He is a MESS! He looks like a brindle dog, like he was bred that way.

The funniest thing was that when he was finished getting shaved, he ran all around, really fast, attacking Raven like he was some sort of superhero with special powers that he didn't have before! It's like when you used to get new shoes as a kid, and you were convinced that you could run really fast!

Here are some photos of the carnage. Call the SPCA!!

Trauma

I just hung up from a dramatic emergency and rescue call. M called, and it seems that Bub got her head stuck in a peanut butter jar.

Now, lest you think we have dirty peanut butter jars lying around our home, you should know that this particular jar's purpose is to carefully measure out the exact amount of dog food when feeding the dogs. While I have asked for it to be kept IN THE DOG FOOD BIN, apparently it is better kept in the kitchen. FOR CATS TO GET THEIR HEADS STUCK IN!!

So there I am at work, a fair distance away, mid-project, talking my child through emergency extraction procedures. She keeps telling me that she can't get it off, she doesn't want to hurt her. I am envisioning myself having to tell my boss that I have to leave to remove the cat's head from a jar. Or to tell the police that I am speeding home to save my cat from suffocation. Or to have to pick up a dead cat with its head stuck in the peanut butter jar.

Thankfully, I calmly talked her through the procedure like a seasoned 911 operator. She extracted the kitty and PUT THE JAR BACK IN THE DOG FOOD BIN!

Where it will STAY. Right, B?

Happy Monday

The sunrise this morning at our house. Today I was reminded what a gift the day is!

R&R Sunday

Yesterday we baled nearly 6 tons of hay. Yep, that's right, even my math-challenged self can calculate that 239 50-pound bales of hay equals 5.975 TONS of hay.

We baled and stacked it on the hay racks, then brought it into the shed and restacked it all on pallets.

Michael Knight came over and helped-- what a friend! When you ask your friends to help you move, it's kind of that "dreaded favor." You know you'll sacrifice your weekend to be paid back in pizza and beer. But this, THIS was a HUGE sacrifice for any friend. And he volunteered!

B and MK worked their butts off, and though I worked hard, they worked circles around me.

Surprisingly, none of us are sore today. We are all feeling fine, but just tired. That's good, I think we were all bracing ourselves for the pain and stiffness to remind us that while we think we're young, we are really too old to be out in 90 degree weather for hours straight lifting TONS of hay.

Actually, I think it was the roast and potatoes I fixed for supper that made our bodies forgive us. : )

In the greater scheme of things, our tiny 6-acre hay field is nothing compared to some farmers' operations. I can't imagine square-baling any larger of a field, yet there are people who do it quite often.

***

Happy Father's Day! What did you get your dad?

We got B some car wash stuff. I have been driving his car a little more lately (for various reasons) and he doesn't like me to drive fast on the gravel in the morning (like over 20 mph) because it makes the dust stick to the dew on his car.

Well, for a perpetually late person like myself, driving under 20 mph is just not possible.

So, hopefully this will help him and his dusty car out!

Off to the hammock for some recuperation!

Friday Night Entertainment

Two hours of continuous seat dancing.

473,372,370 Seconds

473,372,370 seconds ago (or fifteen years and a few hours) I made a promise to my best friend that I would be there for him until the day I died. We have been through so much, and I can't imagine, as all the shit came our way, holding anyone else's hand through all of it.

He has a strong hands, ones that fit my hands perfectly. He has a great shoulder, and I lean on it often.

He supports me in my crazy ideas, like selling our suburban house and moving to the country. He's my hugest fan, he's always interested in my work and does whatever he can to make things easy for me.

He is the best dad any kid could ever have. My kids are so lucky to have him as their father.

I'm just so glad he's put up with me for 473,372,370 seconds so far.

Four Legged Toddlers

I was home today, enjoying the cool air-conditioned-less home (not being facetious, it was cool) and M came running in, "Pecos is eating a cord!" What??

So I went outside, and sure enough, those brats had torn off the cover of the waterer, snatched out the heat lamp and smashed the light bulb to smithereens.

I have decided that "farmer rigging" is really not such a bad thing. When I first moved in, I was mortified at the amount of things that were tied together with baling twine, wired together, or just cobbled in some fashion or another. Well, I have since realized that it's about getting things done. Have you ever set out to do a project, and then couldn't find your supplies or tools? And then, after rounding up what you needed, you went to do it, and something else was wrong or missing? And by the end of the day you didn't get anywhere near finishing what you set out to do?

Well that happens here a lot. And it's hard, because the nearest hardware store is 20+ minutes away (and the selection is limited), so you could waste a lot of time if you had to run back and forth for your supplies. So, you just grab the nearest fix (and most of the fixes are free or nearly free) and you move on so you can get something done!

Anyway, I digress. But you have come to expect that from me.

So we had this waterer farmer-rigged. It has a heat lamp on it, which keeps it from freezing. I found this handy gizmo that is an outlet converter with a thermostat on it. So if the temperature gets below 35 degrees, the outlet comes on, thus turning on the heat lamp. I left it plugged in over the summer, as I don't expect it to get below 35, so it should be just as we left it until winter.

OR SO I THOUGHT! I didn't count on some overgrown toddlers with hair trashing the cover, tearing out the cord and stomping the light to bits.

As if there isn't enough to do with 3 acres to eat!!

We really, really need some llamas. Or at least some goats. Somebody's got to eat all of this pasture. I bet the goats would eat more than the heat lamp, though.

Now, back to enjoying my cool house.

The Answer

Well, it's a darn good thing that Michael knew the answer, since he was the ONLY one who posted a guess! I can't believe that all of you other 45 people that stopped by yesterday didn't even give it a try!

The noise I heard the night before last was a Barn Owl. Actually, I thought it was a Screech Owl myself, but come to find out, Screech Owls don't really screech! Barn Owls do. They are endangered in Iowa, so it is nice to know that one is living at our house. He is quite welcome here, though I wish he would contain his screaming to daylight hours.

It really sounded like some sort of crime had been committed outside of my window.

Chills

On Sunday, we got home from the airport at 5:30 am, after traveling all night. Needless to say, we were exhausted when we hit the pillow last night. Imagine, then, being jolted out of a dead sleep by this at 2:13 am!!

Post a comment if you know what it is...

I will tell you tomorrow!

Belmont

Did you watch the Belmont Stakes? I hope you got to see Afleet Alex win! B and I were busy trying to get the kids' rooms done, but we took time out to watch Alex go. And go he did!

I wore my cool t-shirt to the airport.

Go Alex!

It's been too long.

Yes, I am still around! Forgive me for being so bad about blogging? Please?

The kids visited grandparents in the southwest US for the past couple of weeks. It was bittersweet-- B and I enjoyed some amazing time together. He is truly my best friend in the whole world. : ) We had so much fun, and wish the time had gone on forever.

However, we missed the kids terribly. I know they were having a great time, so that part was easy. But we missed them not being around. So it was difficult not to wish the time away.

Of course, we picked them up at the airport, and the bickering started all over again. Then I remembered those words, "Be careful what you wish for!" But all is back to normal at our house, and that's a good thing!

One of the things we did at home while the kids were gone, was to re-do their rooms. We tore out the gold carpeting to reveal some really cool (albeit scratched) hardwood floors in L's room. He told me yesterday he hated the floors because they weren't nice and finished like the downstairs. I reminded him that each of those scratches were from a boy or girl playing with toys, or a dog settling down to lie by his boy's bed, or a mom stepping on a lego when she tucked her kiddo in. He decided he liked his storytelling floors.

M's floor has a "Congoleum Art-Rug" on it. ( 1, 2, 3 ) It doesn't quite match the pastel pink walls and sheer drapes, but it doesn't look all that bad. We have a little more work to do-- scrubbing the carpet padding off of some areas, pulling staples, etc. I will definitely take photos when it's all done. And Mike, I haven't forgotten about the photos of the house I promise to post! I will do it...

I haven't ridden in quite a while. Our pasture grass is long, and Major is spooky-- which makes me spooky even before I get on. When I'm spooky, he's spooky, and then he's doubly spooky from the grass and from me. So I need to just get over it and get on his back. : )

It has rained so much here! Our crops are not doing well. K was supposed to put soybeans in our hayfield, but first he baled the hay and was going to put roundup on the field. He hasn't yet put the roundup on-- it's been so rainy. I don't know if it's too late or not for the beans. We may have to wait for next year.

And we will be having our other hayfield baled in square bales this year. We will pay for it, but it's worth it. We can store the bales inside (making much more of the hay usable), and small bales are so much easier to handle. Even paying to have it baled we will save so much money. The only hitch is that the man baling it just had back surgery-- he will drive the tractor, and that is all. We will do the rest of the work. Can you say big, big pain in store? I think we will be totally exhausted after stacking 200 bales (and that is a small field!!). We'll stack them on the rack, then unload them and restack them in the barn. I'll have biceps of steel next week! (or mush)

Happy Monday. Mine's manic-- hope yours isn't!

Did You Sing?

Did you have a spring in your step this morning on your way to work? Do you usually?

Do you sing in the car? If you do, do you sing really loudly with no regard for how horrible you might sound (like I do) or are you one of those self-conscious singers who just silently mouths the words? I have to be a silent singer when I am riding with someone (unless I can enlist them to "sing with me!").

Michael said he was seat dancing and was caught on a cell-phone cam by a passer-by! Do you seat dance? Do you worry that people will see you? (or take photographic evidence of your insanity?)

I got a new iPod this weekend. I spent the weekend transferring songs over to it, and I played it this morning on the way to work (with the FM transmitter gizmo I bought). I was seat dancing, singing along, as I enjoyed my breakfast of wheat thins and pepper jack cheese, washed down with a Coke. (Breakfast of champions, don't you know?)

Happiness is contagious, so I'm trying to spread some of it around to you.

What is new at our farm? Hmmm, lemme think:

1) I have decided that having children keeps clear boundaries between adults and children in the home. Friday night we didn't go to bed until 2 am, we slept until 10:30 am, and only did what we wanted to do on Saturday. Dishes were dirty in the sink, junk was left around the house, it looked like a bunch of kids lived there! Thankfully, on Sunday I got the cleaning bug and tidied up. When M&L get back home, we'll get back to that routine!

2) The horses are sick. They had their vaccinations on Saturday, and moped around yesterday, and are still not well today. It hurts me to see them in such pain! : (

3) It's going to be 90 degrees today! B said he would open the windows in our house (they have storm windows that have to be removed and replaced with screens). He didn't. So maybe he'll have to take me to a movie this afternoon! I think we are the only people in Iowa with no a/c. No, I take that back, Bubba has no A/C.

4) Speaking of Bubba, did you know that he got a new dog? That's right, when you kill your first dog because of neglect, be sure to run right out and get another. Shameful. However, I do have to say that he tidied up his yard, put up a hammock, put in a garden, and for the first time in a while, his dogs have not chased my car. Maybe he HAS turned over a new leaf?

I promised pictures of all of our adventures, I know, I know. But the ones didn't turn out (no, not because of naked deer!), and we really haven't been anywhere adventurous to take photos! I'll be sure to post some if we do go somewhere photo-worthy.

Happy Monday. Be sure to sing loudly on the way home! Think of you and me doing a loud, off-key duet. : )

What Freaky People Do When They Have Too Much Time On Their Hands.

Most young couples sit around and pine for children, dreaming up names for their sweet babies.

Not us. Being the freaks that we are, we are dreaming up names for our future llamas. Llamas are cool, and we hope to own them (or, more accurately, be owned by them) someday.

We have come up with the following names:

Yo Llama
Como Se Llama
Dalai Llama (or Dolly, if a girl)
Nacho Llama

Do you have any suggestions?

Feeling Naked

I feel like I forgot my clothes, or my purse, or something else important. L left Tuesday for a visit to B's parents, and M left on Saturday. So we are "temporarily child-free by choice."

It's a weird feeling, the house is quiet, there is not an abundance of dirty clothes, dishes, shoes, toys, computer power supplies, or all of the other things I am usually complaining about! Thank goodness for the animals, because if it was any quieter around here, I think I would have to stay at work until B got home!

We went to Roseman Bridge on Wednesday evening. We saw about 25 deer on the way, a relatively short drive. Deer are everywhere! I took pictures of the deer and the bridge, but it was dusk, and none of the photos turned out, even after attempting to work some iPhoto magic on them.

Last night we got steaks and stayed in. I am not sure what our plans are for this evening. I would like to go to Prairie Meadows (a racetrack) to see some live horse racing. But there are a million other choices for things to do as well.

And as much as I hate to admit it, there's something to be said for hanging around here and saying to each other every five minutes, "Hey! Listen! Hear that? Me either! It's quiet!"

Happy Day! TGIF!

Please people!

Come on! Vote Early, Vote often! and let me know if you think my kids should read my blog!! click here
and let me know if you think my kids should read my blog!!

Presents

Okay, before I bump it down, I have to be sure that I call your attention to my previous post about my kids seeing my blog. Help me out!

I am pretty lucky in that my birthday usually falls on the Memorial Day weekend. When I was younger, I was a baton twirler, and I usually led the parades in my hometown. I always joked that I led a parade in my honor, as many times Memorial day fell on my birthday.

But I digress.

So I celebrate my birthday weekend. My dad is never very good at remembering birthdays. Well, let me say that he has always called me on my day, and never actually forgotten the day. But he's not a big birthday advance planner (sound familiar?). So the day gets here and he is always apologizing all over the place because he hasn't sent me a card or gotten me anything. And I really don't care.

In fact, I really don't care if people remember late. It's not about hating my birthday, it's more about dragging out the celebrations! If you get all your presents on one day, then the next day is a little weak, right? So if you get your presents spread over a few days, you get a new toy, and then when the shiny wears off, you get another one!

I didn't get toys, but this year was the year for flowers. First, B got me these:


(and this was taken today-- they are just stunning, the calla lilies smell as good as a baby!)

And yesterday my friend Jen came over and brought me these:



And today, my boys went for a walk down by the creek and L brought me back a bouquet of tiny purple flowers. I don't have a picture because the cats immediately knocked the bouquet over and scattered them everywhere. But it was a wonderful gesture-- he woke me up from my nap (which should have been over anyway) with a bouquet of flowers he had just picked. : )

And later I saw this guy on my back step. (An Eastern Meadowlark)



I gave Major a bath today, he was damp when I put him in his stall. I will be sure to take a picture of him when he is dry, I hope he is really slick, black and noticeably clean. I am sure he will immediately find his way to the dirt pile for a good roll when he is next out in the pasture.

I can't remember a day this good in so long. Happy Monday, Happy Birthday, and Happy Memorial Day.

Help Me Out

(Yeah, they have been there, though I don't think they'v spent much time there. L has asked me questions about things I wrote...)

The Day After

I had a great birthday. Thanks for all of your birthday notes!

B gave me a really beautiful bouquet of flowers, it is really pretty. It loads of flowers, but I especially love the calla lilies-- they smell heavenly.

We did try some stargazing, and it was magnificient. However, after about 10 minutes, Bubba's dogs started barking. That in itself was not the end of the world, but then he came out and started shouting at them to get back inside (yes, you can hear all of this as it echoes through the valley in which we live). When they wouldn't come in, he got in his truck and proceeded to drive all around to get them back in. After about 15 minutes, I was so irritated with the dogs' barking, his headlights flashing on my house, on me, all around, and then finally something caused the motion light to go on. I'd had enough, so we went inside.

I did see a satellite in that small time period, and a bazillion stars. : )

P.S. Bubba is not his real name. It's just a name that, for me, conjures up an appropriate image of the man behind the name.

Happy Birthday to Me

I'm 29.

Again. : )

B didn't want to stargaze with me last night-- the stars were spectacular, and no moon! Maybe tonight. I'll report back on how many satellites we see!

A Long Way

I can't imagine having so much distance between my nose and my eyes. It's a long way up there.

Scooby Stallion

Remember when you were little and you watched Scooby Doo (I think it's still on, even)? One part that I always thought was funny was that part when they would be in the haunted house and they would walk by the spooky old portrait, and the eyes would move and watch them walk by. Like someone was behind the wall, looking through the painting with the eyes cut out!

Well, we have something similar at our farm. The spooky stallion stands in his stall, and he has a boarded up window in his stall. The board must have had a knot in it, and the knot deteriorated, and so there is this hole. He puts his eye up to the hole to watch the horses outside (he can't be outside in the pasture with Cleo). You can just see this big brown eye looking out, with some hair over it.



So I go outside to take his picture. Of course, it took forever for me to get him to do it, and even then, his eye isn't up close to the hole. But he is extra-willing to stick his nose out of the hole:



Then, as I am making this fuss about "something," the other horses notice, and they come up to see what is going on. Pecos had to stick his nose into the situation:



The situation went downhill from there. : )

Isn't this a great picture of Don Pecos' eye? You can see into his soul.



A neat picture of Cleo and Pecos just dozing and hanging out together:


Cleo has this fascination with toes. She had never really seen toes, because most people who come into the barn are wearing boots or sturdy shoes. Well, at my house, there have been occassions where I have had to run into the barn on my way to somewhere. I recall the first time, I ran out there in black strappy sandals, we were on our way to a wedding. She put her nose down (she could see my toes under her stall wall) and was like, "Oh, my goodness! You don't have a hoof! What are those goofy, wiggly things??? Ever since then she has been really fascinated with shoes and toes. So today I had on some garden slip on shoes, since I was just running out to take a photo (yeah, right). She was investigating my shoes, and I slipped my shoe off and wiggled my toes at her:



Now off to stargaze in the hammock.

Afleet Alex

Did you watch the Preakness? It was amazing! We were rooting for Afleet Alex. I was happy when Giacomo won the Kentucky Derby, just because he was a longshot and nobody thought he could do it. But for the Preakness, I wanted Afleet Alex to win. His name is Alex, named after the owners’ kids. Between them they have several kids named Alex. There are 5 owners, just “regular” people, who pooled their money and bough Alex for $75,000. What an investment!

And the best thing of all is that some of the money that Alex wins goes to help Alex’s Lemonade Stand. If you don’t know what that is, visit this site, you’ll be amazed. Plus, you’ll root for Afleet Alex at the Belmont!

We bought some Alex t-shirts, too. : )

Starry Eyed

For the last two nights B & I have gone out and enjoyed the night sky from the hammock. It is so fun! We can see so much, although while we truly enjoyed the magnificent harvest moon last night, it proved to be quite bright and a hindrance to some of the dimmer stars. But we saw 6 satellites last night!

I looked them up on www.heavens-above.com and found out that we saw the Tropical Rainfall Monitoring Mission Satellite, and the Cosmos 1263 rocket (which B dismissed as “space junk”).
I think I am turning into a geek.

Anyway, it has been quite fun, and we have not suffered any effects of mosquitoes or any other wildlife, though we do hear things sneaking around in the trees and the coyotes in the pastures.

I have also used the hammock to turn dreaded tasks into more pleasant ones! : ) I didn’t mind working on a RFP for work this weekend nearly as much, when I took my laptop out to the hammock! However, I can’t get a wireless signal from its current location, so no blog-ability.

It is a big one, so the whole family can fit in it. The kids and I have had fun chilling out together.

It was a great, great present. Talk about some quality time doing some cool things.

*******
Both kids are going cross-country next week to visit grandparents. M is visiting my familiy in Phoenix, and L is visiting B’s family in San Diego. They are so excited! This is their first time flying alone, and they are really looking forward to it. I am, too, as we have some fun plans for while they’re gone, but I know I will miss them terribly. Our house will not be the same without them.

I will take pictures of all of the fun places we visit.

Farmers

This article speaks volumes. I blogged before about the plight of the family farmer.

My cousin Mike brought up a good point after that post. He said that many people are losing their jobs because of technology and outsourcing. He noted that not just farmers, but people everywhere, are looking at the destruction of their livelihoods and incomes because employers are sending jobs to other countries and utilizing sophisticated machinery that can work cheaper and faster.

And his point is well taken.

However, I've been doing some thinking, and I think that it's very different with farmers. There are farms here that are century farms (and I don't think it's just in Iowa). They are properties that have been worked and lived in and farmed by the same family for over 100 years. I was talking with our insurance agent, and he said that people take out life insurance policies, typically sons take the policies out on their fathers, and when the father dies, the policy pays the son and he buys the farm. (Maybe that's where the expression comes from??) Generations of children grow up on farms, and in rural communities, and they take farm-related courses in school. Their communities revolve around 4-H and Grange. They coordinate their social lives around the county fair and harvest times. This is not just a job; it's literally their entire lives, their family histories. Getting a "regular" job isn't about learning a new skill, it's the equivalent of moving to a new country.

And it's so different than a 9-5 job. It's such a different mentality that I can't imagine it would be easy to move from one to the other.

Farmers typically take out a large loan in the spring, buy their seed and fuel, make their repairs, put their seed in the ground, and then pray. Smaller farmers diversify, so they are busy over the summer with cattle and other livestock. Farmers are at the mercy of Mother Nature, they study the weather reports, and hope that no insects infest. They survey their land, watching it thrive or fail, knowing that there isn't one thing they can do except watch it do what it will. Livestock are susceptible to disease, to birth defects, to predators. I even saw in the news today that half of a farmer's herd of cattle was wiped out by lightning. For 16 cattle, he was out more than $15,000. He had insurance, but it didn't cover acts of God.

They endure the stress of the unknown-- will they reap enough to repay the loans in the fall? What if they don't? What if they have all or part of last year's loan to repay also?

The entire family helps. Our neighbors K&F both do the work. They are both in the field at the same time, each operating a different machine. They both move cattle, they both do the chores. They both stress when Mother Nature is in charge, and they have no control.

They have to wear so many hats. They have to be good at planning, good at finance. Every farmer I know is a good mechanic. They know about the moon cycles and phases, and the weather. They know about weeds and insects and sicknesses and vegetables. They are veritable chemists, veterinarians, conservationists, nutritionists. It can't be just a hobby-- their existence depends on being good at all of these things.

There are jobs in this world other than farming that are stressful. There are jobs that are nobler. But a farmer is in a completely different mindset than other jobs. It's not a 9-5 thing. He can't just go out for a beer on his way home from work and forget about his day. His problems don't go away by just getting a promotion, or a new boss, or a raise.

And they work so hard. They work rain or shine. Rainy days are good for fixing broken things. Sunny days are good for making hay, moving animals, working in the field, and a host of other things. No days off for a farmer. They probably make a few cents an hour, as it all works out. And of course, there is no extra pay for overtime and weekends and holidays. No vacation time or personal days, or even sick time.

And, when the season is done, all they want is the ability to pay the loan back and the chance to do it again next year.

I wanna be a farmer when I grow up. When that will be is anyone's guess. : )

Thanks, Mike, for making me think. : )

P.S. I asked K a few weeks ago what he would tell his 9-year-old son if he told him he wanted to grow up and be a farmer. He said, "I'd tell him to get a job in town." That's so sad. : (

Bubba's Dog

Well, I am sad to report that Bubba's dog has died.

I am VERY sad to report that it hung itself on the fence. It was one of the three Great Pyranees that he had, and it was the one that he kept tied up. Recall that he kept it tied up so the other dogs (2 Great Pyranees and 1 Border Collie) would stay close. Uh huh, sure. Right. The dogs never stayed home, they were over here half the time.

Anyway, it was a cruel, brutal way to die, and Bubba should be subjected to the same pain. I drove by and saw the fence pulled down, and the dog lying over it, and not moving. I thought I should go back-- nobody was home at Bubba's house. I had a phone call when I got in, and then I grabbed my binoculars and looked over while I was on the phone. About 5 minutes later, while I was still on the phone, Bubba came home and rushed over to the dog. He tried to revive it, but it was already dead.

I am sad for the dog. But Bubba is so incredibly cruel, just by reason of his stupidity. Anyone who puts an 8-week old kitten outside in the middle of winter to "make it an indoor-outdoor cat" or who gets 4 dogs and lets three of them run loose and leaves the other tied up, just doesn't get it. I believe that they love their animals, but when it's not convienent for them, they just toss them aside. Or they think that by letting them be loose and wild, that they are giving the animal an ideal life. They feel that rescuing an animal from a shelter and bringing it home to BubbaHaven is a walk in the park for the animal. They used to come looking for their dogs when they got away. They don't anymore, they just leave them loose to chase my car, or chase B when he runs on his morning jogs.

I hope that he feels lower than a worm's belly. I hope he has a hole in his heart because somewhere in it he loved that dog. I hope this makes him think that he should do things a lot differently.

Unfortunately, I bet he's the sort that will just go out and get another one to replace it. I'd be overjoyed to proclaim to the world that I am wrong on this one.

I hate people.

I wonder what he'll do with the 100 pound dead dog-- if he takes it to the vet, he'll have to explain that one. Maybe I don't want to know what he'll do with it...

horse people

I saw this list of items on another website, it struck me funny. All of them apply, and what’s the funniest is that 18 months ago, NONE of them would have applied!

You Know You’re a Horse Person When:

• You get to the checkout at the grocery and the only things you're buying are 5 gallons of corn oil, a gallon of vinegar and dish soap (to make fly spray).

• The photo Christmas cards feature the horses.

• Your car is the only one in the company parking lot that has an inch of dust INSIDE and when you open the door, a swarm of flies emerge.

• You get a little whiff of manure smell and breathe deeper to get the full impact. That goes double for the smell of leather.

• Suppertime is generally at 8PM, and everyone has been home since before 5.

• You RUSH to the front window to watch the horses run & buck in the pasture, even if you're in the middle of a meal. Good, clean fun!

• The concept of sleeping in on the weekends has long since faded from your memory.

• You know more about equine nutrition than human nutrition and it shows

• You cannot imagine why anyone would think it kinky to own whips

• You show up in city clothes dressed for appointments and when you get there people reach over the breakfast table to pick alfalfa out of your hair.

• You dress like a lawyer on weekdays and someone who needs a lawyer on your days off

• No one wants to ride in your car because they'll get sweet feed and hay in their socks and purses...that's ok because then you'd have to rearrange all the tack to make room for them, anyway!

• You’ve considered moving into the barn, since it is cleaner than the house.

• You drive up in the yard, get out of the car and inhale the perfume of the manure pile.

• You talk to the horses like they were kids.

• You leave work feeling stiff, tense, with a stomach- or headache, and all those feelings disappear the minute you get home and see the horses waiting by the fence for you.

What a Small World

We live near a river, which is sort of the dividing line between our "neighborhood" and the others. We don't really drive toward the river, and the houses over the river are also over a large hill, and are too far away for the kids to walk to, etc.

Our road ends abruptly as you go in the opposite direction, so we think of our "neighborhood" as anyone between our house and the end of the road, or anyone you can see from our house. So, all told, there are 10 houses in the neighborhood including ours. Mapblast says that's within 1.1 miles.

Having said that, we know everyone who lives in all of these houses, and who owns the land that no houses occupy. Some people we've only met once, when they were driving by and introducing themselves shortly after we moved in, others (like Bubba) we know all too well. Some we just met when Pecos got away a few weeks ago.

Except for one. Their house sits back from the road, in some trees. I actually forgot it was there until yesterday.

I was at school. Since it was my vacation, I decided to go to school and have lunch with my kids (which was a blast, I highly recommend it). While I was saying goodbye to L, there was a man waiting for me to finish. When I did, he introduced himself and asked if I lived on XXX road. I said I did (well, not XXX, that sounds like a red light district!), and he introduced himself as a teacher at the school. He knew me from a function I attended as the parent of a child with autism, but he had not put that together with the neighbor thing. He then told me that his father lived around the corner. Sure, I know him, I wave to him every day when I leave for work and come home! He has a big ol' farm, and some of his land extends to behind mine.

Small world. Especially here!

I think I now know ALL of my neighbors.

Sneaky Stallion

So I walk into the barn last night, and I am greeted at the door by Major. He is quite calm, with a mouth full of hay. He has torn up an entire bale of good alfalfa-- never touched the crappy grass hay, of course.

He has also knocked the top off of the pellet feed. It's not as enticing as the grain, so he didn't pillage that. It's a good thing we keep the grain in a 50 gallon metal drum, with a locking lid. But then again, that's exactly why we keep it locked up.

He looks at me casually, like I am just a cat walking through or something. I calmly say, "Get back in your stall" and he does. He moseys over there like it's no big deal.

This is now the second time that I have been negligent and he has gotten out. Or so I thought...

This has happened twice, but those 2 times have been in the last 10 days...

And he now has a new "neighbor" next to him...

PECOS!

Yes, Don Pecos has been able to get the latch open. I have had to tie Major's latch closed with some baling twine. This weekend we will have to work on a more permanent solution.

But I wonder what he is thinking. Was he thinking, "If I open Major's stall, he'll go over there and bring us all some hay" or "If I open the dork's stall and let him out, it will be funny to see him get into trouble" or maybe "What does this thing do? Oooh! Fun!" ?

Then again, maybe he was just up for the challenge of manipulating the latch with his lips.

If you think that they can't, read this great article: What was that horse thinking?

Struggle

The year is 1995. It's March.

The man wakes up one day, and he can't speak. It's like bells palsy: sudden, definite, debilitating, unexplainable.

But, unlike bells palsy, it doesn't go away. He has no recourse, but to hope and pray, and wish it gone. No insurance, no job, a child and a wife to support.

Fast-forward two years.

The man has two children now. He lives in another country. He is in the military, struggling daily with his inability to be understood. Torn always between wanting to learn to live with it, to stop dwelling on it and learn to accept it and himself, and between seeking a reason for this. An answer, a name he can type into the internet and order pills to cure.

The oldest baby has problems. The man doesn't know what is wrong with her. His job is always in jeopardy because of his speech. He focuses on being a good soldier, doing his job well, doing everything right. His commanders wonder what is wrong with him. He tries to be a good husband and father and soldier. It drains him.

The wife is distressed. She has a toddler with problems, a newborn also. Her family is far away, thousands of miles across the ocean. She is an outsider in so many ways. She doesn't fit in with her new neighbors off base, because she is American. She doesn't fit in with her military neighbors on base because she is too liberal. She finds one or two people she can trust, but spends the majority of her time inside. She treasures the moments she spends with her husband, her best friend. She is worried that she is becoming agoraphobic. The couple has no money; the man is enlisted and makes just over $1000 per month after taxes. It's difficult for a family of four to subsist on that amount. They are lucky to have an extra $20 to last 2 weeks until the next payday.

The wife takes her toddler for appointment after appointment. The couple is told that they could be better parents, and a parenting class is prescribed. The mom is told that the toddler is bright, but testing may reveal more. So testing dates are set.

The man's commander decides that it's time to figure out what is wrong with him. The doctors determine that they can't perform extensive testing in their country, so they must send him back to the US for tests. Inpatient testing, for at least one month.

The man is distraught. He must leave his family in crisis. Will they be okay for a month without him? He will be so far away. What will his tests prove? Will the doctors find some dread disease? Will the military use the findings to discharge him? How would his family make ends meet if he were discharged?

The day I watched my husband leave RAF Lakenheath on a MedEvac flight was probably the worst day of my life. I also was given the news that day that my daughter would never be "normal."

"But I thought you told me that she was a bright child! How can you say that she has an IQ of 75, when you told me before that she was bright?!"

"Mrs. X, everyone thinks their child is bright."

I will never forget that day. When I hear about people that are suicidal, people that are desperate, and I can't imagine their pain, I always think back on that day. I had nothing left, no hope whatsoever. I was so incredibly sad, with nowhere to turn, nobody to even hug me. I cried so hard coming back from the runway observation area, that I had to pull over because I couldn't see. I was like a wrung-out rag. Limp, no energy, not a thing left in my soul for me to use to go on.

But somehow I got up the next morning. And I put one foot in front of the other.

It is amazing how strong people are. How one can make their destiny. How God can use those rock bottom experiences to mold you into someone new.

Worry is no longer my enemy. When he used to come around, I would be unable to cope, only able to focus on him. Now I can just ignore him. He still comes around, but he's like a stray cat, I just push him out of the way with my foot and get on with my day.

B's condition caused him to be discharged from the military in January of 1999. Because we had the sense to fight the military, he was discharged with disability pay. He has a small pension each month now. He was discharged with a lump sum, and we used it for a downpayment on a new house.

Our daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Finally, a name to put on her. Symptoms we could identify with. A network of other parents, siblings, and those themselves coping with AS. Prescribed treatment, a path worn by other families. Footprints laid that we could easily step into until we were strong enough to forge our own path.

Strength came quickly. It came exponentially with an increase in confidence, cash, assistance from the school, access to good healthcare, and battles won.

It's amazing, because I rarely remember those times. In fact, I don't often recall how rock-bottom I felt that horrible day.

But I am who I am today because of that very day.

Our family is strong. Bring it on-- we can take it. Not only can we take it, but we'll be better for it.

And that is why I am so grateful for our farm. For the peace that it brings, for the hard work that it requires (and thrives from). For the dream come true that it represents. For the unique blessing that it is. How could I have ever known in 1995 that this is where I would be in 10 years?

Jumping Beans

Remember Bubba, and his trampoline? Well, "Annie" called the other day and told L that her cousin came over, fell off of the trampoline and "broke her head."

You know, we always wear helmets when we ride. I would say that even riding has to be less risky than jumping on a trampoline. No broken heads yet, and no plans for any, either.

Today

Chicken Coop


Chicken Coop again


Standing at the far edge of our backyard, looking beyond the fence at the creek. Past the creek is our east hayfield, which extends to the brown (tilled) ground. That hayfield will be planted with soybeans soon!


My composite "panoramic" photo of the "new" backyard. It's taken from the exact spot I took the previous photo (of the creek), I just turned around the other way. This whole section, from where I am standing, used to be filled with weeds taller than me. We mowed it a few weeks ago, and have had a lot of fun with the firepit, and the Safari Party, etc. We want to overseed it and clean it up a bit more, put a horseshoe pit in, etc. It will be great! The hammock is going to the right of the garage (the brick building toward the right of the photo), between the garage and the trees.


This is an old picture, before it was mowed. It was taken a little further up, so I am looking across the (now) mowed section, down past the grass to the trees. When I took the panoramic picture, I was standing at the post that you can see in the middle of this picture. It's taller than the others.

Happy Mother's Day! : )

raison d'etre

One little boy who came over today for the party came with a warning from his father: "My boy is allergic to horses. He can't get near them. If he gets anywhere near them, he'll swell up, he'll have a hard time breathing-- it will just be bad." I gulped, "Um, okay! We didn't plan to "play" with the horses today anyway. No horses on safaris, you know!" But hey, little kids are drawn to them, and they love kids! It's such a hoot to see Major begging for a tootsie roll or something... He adds, "Oh, and hay, too. Can't come anywhere near hay."

This reminded me of my friend in England. That poor soul gets the worst migraines from eating either chocolate or cheese. So, naturally, she avoids both of them.

Aside from B and my kids, and all of my brood of animals, I can't imagine anything I love more than chocolate, cheese, horses and hay. When one is having a baby, they tell you to think of a calming place. You spend many hours in childbirth class picking out your place to "visit" and imagining the entire sensory experience. Then, when the event takes place, you're all ready. Do you know where I picked? Not Mexico, not Hawaii, no beaches were involved. I picked the haymow of a barn. I love the wind whooshing through on a hot day, the cats underfoot, the smell of freshly cut hay.

So, please God, if you have to make me allergic to something, please don't let it be someone I love, chocolate, cheese, hay or horses. : )

P.S. The boy was fine, no contact was made with either of the culprits.

I'm Exhausted.

This morning and early afternoon we had a Safari here. Seven 9-year olds came over, and we celebrated L's birthday. It was in Feb, but that was my busy time at work, so we waited until we could have a calmer schedule, and play outside.

They had pith helmets, binoculars, sunglasses, squirt guns, flashlights, compasses and bug pencils as their goodie bags. I hid reptiles in the grass and they had to find them. We had a cool treasure hunt, and even at 6:00 this morning I came up with cool clues:

The next clue won't give you a rest
It's in the tree I like the best.
To figure out which one, you'll have to think.
I can see it from my kitchen sink.
The biggest, the oldest, the roundest you'll see
But it's not the closest, it's far from me.

and

This used to be a place for food
Now it's looking pretty crude.
Since it's creepy, I did decide
To hide the clue just outside.
(I had hidden it outside the grain bin)

We ate bugs made of string cheese and chow mein noodles, spiders constructed of hot dogs, ants on a log with peanut butter, celery and raisins. I made a cool cake in the shape of a snake. We had worms in dirt (gummy worms in crushed up Oreos) and animal crackers.

We played games like animal charades and a jumping relay, plus the squirt gun play and the treasure hunt.

And now I am exhausted. B and M went to the store and bought the ingredients for M to cook us all supper. They also brought me my mother's day present-- a hammock! B says it's big enough for the whole family!! I am tickled pink. I think it's going to be a weekend of R&R-- what better way to celebrate!

Also, I have the whole week off next week! I'm going to work hard on the walls inside. I really want to get busy on them. It will really make a difference in my perspective, plus it will be so much easier to take small baby steps toward being "done." At this point, the next step is so drastic, time-consuming, and requires such a big block of time, that we have put it off for a long time. It will be a big weight off of my shoulders to have this part of the project done.

And I have turned off my email from work-- I actually put an auto-responder on my email! For you who know me personally, you know that was a big, big deal. I'm trying to not be the workaholic that my genetics dictate that I am...

I think I could get used to it!

We saw an oriole today. L said he saw one yesterday, too. We've nailed some oranges to a few trees, and hope to see him around here more often. He's a beauty!

Hope you have a great mother's day weekend. Those who are moms, or those who just have moms. : )

Smelling the Roses

Well, there are no roses blooming yet, but figuratively sniffed a lot of them today.

We went out to the barn to tuck the horses in for the evening, but ended up spending a few minutes out there just seeing what we could see.

And we saw a lot!

We saw bats, two satellites, and a huge, low-flying airplane. We heard an owl that we hadn't heard before. Oh, and a jillion stars.

I love it here. : )

Recently sighted at our house

Hey, THANKS!!

From WHO TV - Des Moines

Madison County, May 4, 2005 - One of Madison County's famed covered bridges is getting a facelift. Volunteers from across the state will help renovate the Hogback bridge today. An arsonist set fire to the bridge back in 2002. Volunteers plan to clean it up and paint the landmark. They will also do some landscaping.

The cost of the improvements will be about $15,000. Hampton Inn is footing the bill. Its part of the hotel's 'Save-A-Landmark' program. This is a national award and only one place is selected each year. Volunteers will also install electricity to the area. That electricity will help power security cameras. The chamber of commerce has raised the money to buy the cameras. Iowa State sponsored the security at Cedar Bridge. Cedar Bridge was rebuilt after an arson fire destroyed it. There have been three notable fires over the past few years, but so far, no one has been caught. The county plans to add security cameras to five famous bridges.

****************

You must have voted early and often, as I asked! Thanks so much! I look forward to "my" bridge being all spruced up.

Now, for some covered bridge facts:

Do you know why the bridges were covered?
They were covered because the timbers on the bottom, the ones that actually spanned the river, were very expensive to replace. Think about it, too: with the bridge out, it was quite an inconvenence, for considerably longer than it would take nowadays. Probably the route was the only route to town, etc. It was much easier to replace the covers than to replace the bridge timbers, so they built a cover to protect them.

Also, they were covered because of the snow. Snowplows did not always exist. In the days of horses and buggies, folks used sleighs in the winter. Contrary to our romantic notions of today, sleighs were not used on grass or other bumpy terrain. They were used on roads, and the snow was rolled flat and packed down. So the sleighs glided right along on top of the hard packed snow.

But all of that snow was heavy, and would place strain on the bridges. So they covered it, so there wouldn't be a heavy layer of snow on the bridge.

What Fun!

What a great day we had. I slept in until 8:00, and did barn chores. Then we went over to the school, where the FFA was selling plants from their greenhouse. We got a good deal on some plants, and helped out the school in the process.

Then we headed over to Pamida. I love Pamida! It's a great store, and only little towns have them. You can get some great deals there.

I came home and did some gardening, and more cleaning up the yard. We have some cement pads in our far backyard, which we have recently cleared and are trying to neaten up. On one of the pads we made a fire pit. We stacked up some bricks in an enclosure, and bought a grate for it. We had to test it out by cooking brats and s'mores on it tonight!

While we were silently eating our brats, all of us over-hungry because it had taken so long for construction and fire-creating, a big owl flew right past us. It came only a few feet from B's head! We didn't hear it call, though. It was beautiful.

We also made May baskets today. We put some candy in them, and will cut some lilacs to put in them tomorrow before we deliver them. I hope neither of my kids gets kissed tomorrow. We made them for our neighbors-- including Bubba. We can't leave anyone out.

Speaking of Bubba, we drove past today and saw that he bought the girl a trampoline. I am just waiting for our kids to ask to go over and play. We don't have good luck, so the answer will be no.

Hope your Saturday was just as memorable!

Clouds

When I was a child, we had a picnic table in our backyard. I used to take a towel and spread it out on the table, and lie on my back to watch the clouds. I could lie there and watch them for hours, puffy and white, drifting by.

I was so in the moment. I didn't have anywhere else to be, nothing else to do, nothing weighing on my mind.

If I did that now, I think I would dwell on the laundry that needs doing, barn that needs cleaning, or a hundred other tasks that haunt me regularly. Either that, or I would fall asleep.

I think I will resolve to schedule some time for myself each day this summer. Like a prescription for myself, sanity time that can't be skipped. Doctor's orders.

Maybe I will ask for a hammock for mother's day.

Clarification

Let me just say, Bubba's daughter did not say that L was the father, when she announced that she was pregnant. She just told him that because, as he said, "She thinks she's so grown up."

Ahh, Bubba's apple does not fall far from the tree.

And wormy, too!

Don't Worry

My last post left a few people worried about me. Not to worry!

Someone who is an authority figure will likely be leaving my life, and leaving a large void behind. This is causing me a great deal of grief and pain, and the circumstances of his departure are very unpleasant. It's a long story, and the specifics are unimportant here. What is important is that I will get through it, and I will be stronger for it. He and I will keep in touch, and life will go on.

So what else is new?

L brought home a note from his teacher saying that his class is going to be hatching some eggs. They are seeking homes for the birds after they hatch. Guess who volunteered our home... "But MOM, there are just TWO farm kids in my class! Where will these birds GO if WE don't take them??" Okay, let's say it all together now: SUCKER! Yes, I wrote the note of consent.

Before you condemn me for being an idiot, just think of all the blogging I will be doing. Look at it as my acquisition of good blogging material.

But darnit, I had plans for that chicken coop. It would have made a cool potting shed. It truly has some cool architecture. Somebody worked hard on it when they made it. I also considered using some of the wood for the trim inside of our house. It would keep things authentic.

So, I dunno. I can't keep the birds (some sort of variety of chickens, geese and ducks) in the barn, because we have barn cats. I am also going to have to fashion something so that the trashy neighbors' dogs can't get to them.

Actually, I have no idea what poultry needs to thrive. I guess I will be doing some research.

Okay, done with thinking while typing...

B and I have worked SO hard on our yard for the past few weekends! We mowed about a half-acre of grass, back behind the garage and down the hill. There are beautiful trees down there, and cement pads that once served as a barn floor or other livestock home. The trees grew through the cement pads! We are looking forward to enjoying that area.

Our baby grass is coming up nicely in the pasture. We are still impatient, as it's such a pain to take the horses to the other pastures. And Major still has to stay in the dry paddock, unless we do a complete swap of the horses in their respective enclosures. We do, but it's not convenient. So we will be patient, and look forward to a lush pasture and few weeds.

Our neighbor K has begun his disking of his ground. It has been so unseasonably warm here that I keep wondering when they will start planting. I have to tell myself that it's only April! Hard to believe that we've had 80 degree days so far.

I have to tell you about these neighbors we have. Everybody has a tale or two about their trashy neighbors, so I will share mine. (I alluded to them above.)

Let's call my neighbor Bubba. Bubba moved in at the end of the summer, renting the house about 1/4 mile away (our nearest neighbor). Bubba just got married, and we wished him well. He "inherited" a little girl, "Annie" when he got married. Annie is 12, going on 35. She announced that our son L was her boyfriend after playing at our house once. Then she came over and told L that she was pregnant. What goes on in the mind of a 12 year old?? She calls all the time. Some days she calls in excess of 5 times. We all avoid her.

You already heard about all of my cat stories. Those were Bubba's cats. So I have a lot of respect for him, as you know. NOT.

So Bubba decides that any self-respecting farmhouse-renting country folk needs to get some dogs. So he gets himself a couple of Great Pyrenees. Yeah. Those dogs are born weighing about 100 pounds. And they are livestock guard dogs. So they need a job. Bubba decides that country dogs can run free. Come on, just think of that pretty picture! Dogs running free, playing without a care, pooping all over the neighbors' yards, chasing their horses... You can see how the vision went downhill quickly.

We were very angry about Bubba's dogs being loose. I mean, they would be loose at least 3-4 times a day. They would get into our pastures, chase the horses (who hate dogs), get into the creek, just make general nuisances of themselves. We told Bubba and Annie that the dogs risked getting killed by the horses, thinking that the threat of death would make Bubba fashion some sort of kennel or other restraint. I think they actually saw that as a challenge or something, because the dogs were loose more than ever.

And when a person lives in the country, they get accustomed to their privacy. People don't just drive by, or pop over. So imagine, all settled for the evening in your jammies, only to have your neighbor roar up your driveway to ask if you've seen his dogs. For the 27th time that day.

Well, as time went on, Bubba decided that chasing after his dogs was futile. In fact, rather than even tie the dogs up only to have them get loose and challenge his authority, he decided to just let them loose at all times. Well, no, let me rephrase that: he decided that if he tied ONE dog up, that the other would stay close.

Um, yeah, right.

And I will give him a little credit. Perhaps that WOULD have worked, had he not seen the need to acquire Dog #3. Dog #3 happens to not be quite as large of a dog. This time Bubba thought a border collie would be a good acquisition.

If you know anything about border collies, you know that they like to herd anything and everything. Bubba's border collie likes to herd my car as I drive by. I always wait for him to spring through the air, make like a 30-foot leap, as he races after my car in the cloud of dust that I leave as I barrel down the road.

K and F, our farmer friends/neighbors, spent the winter down south, so they are not aware of Bubba's Dogs and their Legacy. However, now that they are back, and getting ready to plant most of the land around us, it will be interesting to see what transpires...

I complained to the neighbor on the other side of Bubba, who keeps his dog kenneled, and he said that Bubba might be taking a job out of state and moving his family out of the farmhouse. I wonder if he'll leave the dogs for the next tenant!

Words of Wisdom

Someone for whom I have a tremendous amount of respect said these words today:

It is not enough to be understood. You must make the effort to ensure that you are not misunderstood.

He is being misunderstood right now, and it is causing me a great deal of pain. I can think of little else. I see things at our farm that make me happy, and I contrast them with his agony and sadness. It tears me apart.

I thought spring would bring resolution to this issue, but it is only bringing more conflict.

Specifics aren't important (though fyi he is no relation to me).

During this troubling time, I'm just soaking up the solace and stability that my home provides. For that peace, I am grateful.

Renovation Reflections

I was thinking again about how it was a year ago. As I look around and still see boxes that are yet to be unpacked, cracked walls, and much renovation to be done, it's easy to think about how far we have to go. And I have blogged about this before.

But we were just reflecting again this morning on what we were doing a year ago. It was a crazy move, probably one of the hardest (and we have 14 to rank).

I had a meeting in Miami finishing on the 20th. We were due to move on the 22nd. Being staff at the meetings, I always come home exhausted, so it was poor planning to move so soon after. But there was no way I could move before the meeting, and I had to schedule it asap after I got home. So the 22nd it was. B took days off before I got home, and he packed as much as he could. But when I got home, there was still much to pack. We had very little sleep, as we worked hard and worried. There were also issues with our loan, because due to some banking laws concerning farms in Iowa we had a hard time getting 20 acres financed. We also had a difficult time finding an insurance company that would insure our home because it is so remote (and far from the fire dept). So there were all of those worries also.

We hired movers, who arrived just before we headed out to our closing. The closing went very smoothly, and we had no problems. When we got home, they had loaded a great deal of the house into the truck, and I was still in the midst of packing dishes in boxes for them. About 3/4 of the way through the process, about 2:00 pm, they announced that the truck was full, and they could not get any more of our things packed inside of it. We HAD to be out that evening, since the new owner would be arriving about 6:00 to bring his things and begin moving in. I had a cleaning lady that was coming about 5:00, and I had to get the things packed up and ready for her, too. Someone had to go with the movers to the new house to instruct them where to put everything. Our new house is approx. 50 minutes from our old house, so time played a huge factor in all of this.

We decided B would go with them, and I would stay.

While I was angry, shocked, and left standing with my mouth open, there was no time for that! I left immediatly and rented a U-Haul truck. I finished packing up the kitchen, and was hoping that B would return after the movers unloaded everything so that he could help me load the truck. Time dragged on, and I decided to just move all of the things that were to be put into the truck, into the garage. That way the cleaning lady could clean, and the new owner could move his things in. Everytime I looked in a room, there was something left. A box here and there, a closet full of clothes. The laundry room's contents not packed. The entire contents of the kitchen. I had no boxes left, and was resorting to garbage bags... And on and on...

The cleaning lady did her magic, and the new owner came. He was very nice, and fortunately, very understanding. He had the DirecTV installlation the next day, so he wanted to have his TVs in the house and ready for that-- that's all. No major moves. He told me to take as long as I needed to get out. Good thing, because B didn't get back until about 9:00, and we did not leave until nearly 11:30 pm. We found a Denny's and ate supper. The kids fell asleep on their plates in the restaurant.

But the fun didn't end there, folks. The next morning, we needed to unload the U-Haul and take it the 50 minutes back to where we rented it. We were bone tired, exhausted, and got up at the crack of dawn to unload our worldly goods into our new house. We saw people drive by and wave, and wonder about these new folks. The house had been empty nearly a year.

We struggled with where to put everything. A lot of our things weren't right in the new house. We suddenly didn't need 3 couches. We have many tall, skinny windows, not a few wide ones. We do like craftsman style furniture, so all of that fit quite well, but the finishing touches were just not working. Plus, we knew we'd be tearing out carpeting and ripping off paneling. Do we just leave the things in the basement, or move them later when we began deconstructing?

And the deconstruction was such a nightmare. We couldn't sleep in the room with red carpeting and black/white wallpaper. I couldn't stand it, so within a week it was painted and transformed. Carpeting was torn out, thrown away, things were scrubbed and restured. Paneling was removed and thrown out. It took us weeks to remove all of the carpet tack strips from the living room floor. To just say "we took out the carpeting" makes it sound like it took 45 minutes! It took so long, and our knees were sore, our backs were sore for days. We would each have a claw tool and we'd sit and talk and pull staples and tacks.

So to look at the walls today doesn't make me sad, after recounting all of that.

I haven't mentioned this, but I am taking a WHOLE WEEK of vacation in May to work on my walls. I am not checking email, not working at all. I am going to pretend I'm unemployed. Well, no, I am going to pretend I am employed as a plaster wall restorer. : )

We will still have to wait on trim, but I can paint, and I can put up curtains, etc. I want to add some bookshelves and homey touches. And I want to UNPACK! I want to look at our boatload of books, and I want them to add their magical touch to the house.

I promise to take pictures.

Happy Saturday!

P.S. I forgot to mention how happy I was when our neighbor F brought us a strawberry pie the day we moved in. : ) I felt so welcome!

Air d'Esprit : )

Cool, eh? That's the farm.

365 days

Isn't this a lovely home? Isn't it a sweet color scheme, with its carefully selected clay-colored siding, cream trim (even on the corners of the siding), coordinated with the pillar color? Don't you think the burgundy was an excellent choice for the shutters-- the door paint was color matched with the vinyl shutters to ensure an exact match. Even the mailbox is burgundy! And the lawn is edged carefully, and watered faithfully. The fence was constructed to ensure privacy from neighbors and keep the dog evidence tidy. Also, behind that fence lies a color-coordinated vinyl shed and a swing set-- the quintessential play accessory for suburban children.

I know this because this was my home 366 days ago.

We had that house built for our family in 1999, on a lot of 8,569 square feet. It was a wonderful house, it was very homey, and we were ecstatic. It was the first house we ever owned, after being married for 9 years and moving 13 times. I kissed the walls in that house many times, thanking God and my lucky stars that I had such a wonderful place to live. It was very clean, very open, airy, and very sunny.

365 days ago we said goodbye to that house.

We moved to a house of similar size, but 80 years older than our previous home. The yard was a smidge larger, at 87,1200 square feet. The house had some dated decor, needed repairs, and with no central air, no dishwasher, and one bathroom (we had 3 in our previous house), it presented a drastic decrease in amenities. No swing set for the kids, just trees.

In the 365 days since we’ve lived at our farm, I have experienced so much. I have seen and heard birds that I didn’t know existed. I have listened to the coyotes bark and howl until the hairs on my neck stood straight. I have looked at the night sky so black that there is no doubt that those stars are light years away. I have watched storms move from one side of the horizon to the other, providing a dramatic light show as they crept.

As I have shared in my blog, I am trying to smell the roses, to dwell on the details and notice all of the beauty. And I couldn’t have picked a better place to be open to this beauty. Our amazing farm does not disappoint.

It’s also been a year of change for me. My expectations for a clean and orderly house have been abandoned. Sometimes I really worried deep down that I had issues like OCD, the way that my house had to be “just so.” Well, living here has cured me of that! I can’t physically keep up with the dust! Remember my issues with the mice? And snakes? And ticks?

I have lost over 25 pounds as we spend our time cleaning, moving, repairing, creating things outside. All of us have built much more muscle!

Our holidays mean more to us, and our expectations are lowered. But not really. It’s not like we are settling for less. We tried at Christmas time to prepare for the shock of getting no toys for the kids. Amazingly, L was beside himself with joy and pride as he unwrapped his own tool set. And he feels so big and important when he brings his tools out to help with a project. Is that really settling for less? I don’t think so.

The animals have initiated quite a change in our family as well. I write aobut them often, so you know how I feel about them. But we have changed our lives for them as well. Remember my trip to the hotel? We can’t go on vacation anymore without being sure to find someone to look after them.

It’s been an amazing year. I am so lucky to have what I have, to be able to enjoy the opportunities that living here provides. I am glad that I cherish the small things, too. They all add up to be life-changing.

Sorry...

for the previous post (now deleted). I took a nap, and I had begun a blog. During my nap, my son hijacked my laptop and went to bionicle.com. He somehow published my post with the bionicle.com title.

i will repost my original post shortly!

His Eye Is On the Sparrow

This morning I left for work begrudgingly. I was so discouraged after yesterday. I had two meetings today, so my work day was cut short, and I have so much to cram into the time I am at work. So I was not looking forward to leaving.

It was about to storm, the big, black clouds rolling in. Of course, the drops started before I even got to the car, all over my files and my hair.

And I got in the car, and started out the driveway. I was stunned to see two glorious rainbows. They filled up the sky. You could see from one end to the other, two concentric bows of brilliant color.

I called the house from the car (It was raining! I wasn't going to brave the rain, even for a few steps!). L answered, and before I could tell him, he said, "Mom! Look out the window! Do you see the rainbows??!! Aren't they beautiful?"

Of course they were. And I knew they were a sign to me that I was not going to drown.

Then I got to thinking: Who am I that He would send a rainbow just for me? Am I that special, is it really ALL ABOUT ME?? But then I remembered one of my favorite songs that we sing in church. It makes me cry every time:


I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free;
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

'Let not your heart be troubled,'
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears,
Tho' by the path He leadeth,
But one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

If he watches every sparrow, he can send me a rainbow.

And guess what, when I got to work BOTH meetings cancelled on me. My day is freed up again.

And so is my soul.

Hope you are feeling free today, also.

Venting

a day from hell.

is the recap done yet?
is your report finished?
did you send the documents out?
have you reviewed the files?
did you get the proposals?
have you send the invoices?

no, no and NO. i am waiting for you.
and him, and her.

there is only one of me.
there is work for four of me.

i arrive home to peace.
few expectations
easy to meet, mostly requests for food.
from furry four-legged and fleshy two-legged kids.
i can do that.
i can do it now, even!
cross that off the list.

most days i love my job.
some days i loathe it.

i love what i do, but i sometimes hate the parameters placed upon me.
get it all done-- someone else's way.
stifled creativity. stifled learning. stifled credit.

at my house i can do it my way.
and everyone thrives.

i wish i could make a living here at home.
caring for creatures
watching them thrive from my attention and love.

being interrupted only by the woodpeckers, tapping me a morse code message
that spring is here and we should all be happy.
the swallows scolding me for coming too close to their babies.
the horses for keeping them too far from each other.
the stars reminding me that this sacred ground was here long before me, and will be here long after i am gone.

my deadlines are twice a day, 5:30 am feeding and 5:30 pm feeding.
oh, and the 8:30 tuck-in.

they are grateful. they are kind-- and forgiving when i am late (after the requisite scolding)

they demand nothing except that for which i have made them depend on me-- food, clean quarters, water.

they are pure souls, no malice, no hatred, no hidden agendas.
ready to give me the benefit of the doubt.
ready to give me a purr, a lick, a ride.

they only seek what their instincts dictate: food and sex.
they have no secrets about that, they are not sorry, they ask for no favors.
no need to do it their way.
my way is fine. my judgement is best.

i am lucky.
i am so loved, so appreciated by my family
by those who matter.
by those who depend on me for what really matters.
i deliver.
and it is they who define my worth-- what makes my soul sing. what gets me up every morning.
i am lucky because i have them to love.

i am lucky because i have work.
i can pay for my home
and my friends' food and water
and bedding
some have nothing. no job, no friends
nobody to miss them all day
nobody to look for their car after work
nobody to love them back.
i am blessed, i have it all.

but today, just let me vent.

what to do

it’s raining today
i don’t even mind

the steady drumbeat of drops on the roof
calms me

makes me want to snuggle deeper under the covers
and be lulled back into a deep slumber next to my love

but there are horses to feed
laundry to wash (and put away)
breakfast to make
memories to make

after all it, it is a saturday
at our farm
a day to do nothing, yet usually something worthwhile
just because we are together

maybe play a game
maybe make a breakfast of circle toast (the house specialty)
maybe play on new laptops

maybe dance in the rain

what will you do?

Sing With Me!

Reasons to sing today:

1) Spring is here. It's the perfect day to take a late afternoon nap in a hammock (darn, I wish I had one!!)!

2) It's Friday. Time to have a beer and enjoy some music, a beautiful breeze, the setting sun, and the company of my loved ones (two-legged and four-legged).

3) I live in an amazing place. Wanna see?


(I didn't change the color on this photo-- it looks like Ireland, doesn't it?)


I love this windmill. I wish I had one.


This tree fell into the creek this winter. I think it might still be happy there. Maybe it got tired of the view!


A creek-dwelling tree.

So, sing with me! Click here to sing with my friend Mary McAdams.

I'm calling it.

Yep, I'm officially calling it Spring. As evidenced by the photos below, spring has arrived at our house. No babies here, but maybe next year we can have something around here that has a baby. I don't have any ideas yet...

One other official herald to the beginning of spring, I found a tick on me today. Ewww!! We all know how much I love ticks.

Today we attended the Iowa Horse Fair . It was so much fun! And the horses are so stunning. I bought Major a fancy gizmo that will protect his tail. It's three spandex tubes, connected at the top. You put a third of the tail hair in each tube, and then you braid the tubes together. It keeps the tail protected. There are little fringes at the bottom of the tubes to help him swat flies. We're trying to glam up his tail because M wants to show him at the Iowa State Fair in August.

Our neighbor K came down yesterday and harrowed up the part of the pasture that is bare. The previous owners had cattle here, and a large amount of them in a small area, which meant that the grass was nonexistant in the areas where they congregated. Before we had the horses to help eat all of that vegetation, it grew and grew, and we had weeds take over all of the bare spots. K mowed them down in October, and we knocked down some of the other spots that needed attention. Now he will plant brome grass and oat grass. We've also agreed to farm our back 10 acres on shares. He'll plant soybeans this spring.

Does that mean we're officially farmers? We have two crops (hay and soybeans) and livestock. Maybe livestock means that you have to make a living from it? I can't believe how hard it actually is to make a living being a farmer. K and I talked for a long while today about that sad fact. I want to take on some animals here, to make a little more money, and K told me that it's next to impossible. He used the example of hogs. It used to be that farmers could go down to the sale and buy 1-2 sows, and bring them home to start their operation. They would have babies, and then either sell the piglets or add to their stock.

But now they don't have sale barns like that, where you can buy 1 or 2 animals. The small farmer is competing with the hoglots and the factory operations. Prices are so low that you can't even make it becuase you can't recoup your costs.

Take chickens for example. Let's say that I wanted to make our farm a chicken farm. I would buy 50 chicks for $1.00 each. I would feed them, love on them, etc., for 10 weeks. Some quick research reveals that it would take 15 pounds of feed to grow a 5-pound chicken, costing approximately $1.80 per chicken. If your chicken weighs 3 3/4 pounds dressed, that's $.48 per pound. I've put $1.00 into the cost of the chicken, not to mention my time, facilties and equipment. Hy-vee is selling chicken for $1.15 per pound. Let's just say I can get $2.00 a pound for my higher-than-normal quality and farm-raised goodness. That means that I sell each chicken for $7.50, and after expenses, it yields a profit of $4.70 per bird (not including equipment and facilities). If I had 50 birds, assuming that I had no unexpected illnesses or setbacks, I could sell those birds for a whopping total of $235 for my chicken flock. Because I am a small operation, and focus on quality, I would never have more than 50 birds at once. If I did this year-round, it would yield $2350 per year.

While sometimes I complain about my job, it generally does pay me more than $2350 per year!

And so it goes with hogs and cattle, too. It's a shame. My kids are in 4H-- why? Just to keep them busy, truthfully. Those kids will never have the option to grow up and be a farmer. It's really, really sad. : (

Well, we're not giving up just yet. And we can enjoy our farm with or without animals. Here are those spring photos:

Lilac bush


Unidentified Plant (can you identify)

Pasture

Hyacinths

Hope spring is springing for you, too.

Oh my aching back!

And it's not just my back.

Yesterday, as I was preparing for my meeting which starts on Monday, I got a call about 12:30 pm from MT, our feed guy. MT also happens to be our neighbor. He was driving by the house with a load of feed, and he noticed Major on the wrong side of the fence. He called to say that since Cleo is in heat, he surmised that Major knocked the gate off and that's how the horses got out. He told me that he just put Major in the barn and Cleo was fine. "And the gelding?" I asked, "Did you just put him in the paddock with her, or back in the barn?" He said, "Gelding? You had a gelding there, too?"

Nearly six hours later, after an exhaustive search by B and I, M (the horses' owner), her friend M, and about 6 of our neighbors (most of whom we first spoke to on this occassion and by then had become quite well-acquainted), we found him. He was about 3/4 mile up the road, about 2 fields back from the main road, munching on corn stalks. He was just staring at us, as if to say, "Hey guys! Good to see you!" It took four people on foot, and two cars to get back there and TO him, and M rode him home. Thank goodness he was dog tired!

The gate did need some fixing, which I took care of this morning. I could hardly lift the gate, I was so exhausted and sore. I can't even imagine how many acres we covered yesterday, or how many times over we covered the same acreage.

Not only that, but when I got the call, I dropped everything at work and came home. I left my desk in disarray, my laptop open and on my desk, and of course, my projects unfinished. I had to go back after that, and ended up not leaving work until nearly midnight.

Isn't it a good thing I love them so much?! What we do for our furry friends...

He said to me...

“You and I are like two trees, planted side-by-side, so many years ago. We have grown together, intertwining so much so that we no longer know where one ends and the other begins.”

I have never forgotten that.

Well Gaw-lee!

I was just reading the news, and was shocked to find out that my job is listed in the top 10 sexiest careers. That's news to me!

How can people find grueling hours, sore feet, and perpetual exhaustion sexy??

I'd rather shovel poop. : )

I actually do love my job, but I am in this crazy-busy time right now, and just discouraged. It will be better at the end of next week.

Speaking of work, now back to it...

There's No Place Like Home!

I got in about 10:30 last night. I was dog tired, having been on my feet for 20 hour days the previous 4 days. I was not used to the honking in Manhattan-- the only honking I ever hear is from the geese! So I didn't sleep well. New York was fine. It was a good chance to get my "city fix" but there is NO place like home.

A funny story: One of my clients is from Vienna. The last time she and I had a chance to sit and talk was in Bermuda in 2003, and we talked about our kids, our spouses, etc. I don't usually get involved personally with them, but every once in a while you meet someone that you could really get along with and you push the envelope a little. So we had a nice talk. This year she asked me about my "cat" (no plural) and I told her about the move and the farm, and the additional cats. I asked her if she had ever seen the movie "Bridges of Madison County" and she had. She said it was her and her daughter's favorite movie! I told her I lived in the midst of Madison county and all of the bridges. It is funny, someone who has never been to the midwest can picture my house and surroundings because of that movie. She said she was jealous, and would love to visit. I just might have her over!

i drove up, and the horses were out. Major neighed at me angrily, and I went over to see him. Instead of coming up to the gate to meet me, he turned his back to me and wouldn't come up to me! He was so mad!! I loved on him a little, and just like a typical man, he came around with a little snuggling. : )

Today was about 70 degrees, and I rode for a long time. It was wonderful. I am still really busy, I have another meeting next Monday-Wednesday, but I have been really blessed to be able to come home, take a break and ride, spend time in the barn, etc., and then get back to work (from home) after the kids go to bed. It has made my stress level much more manageable.

Speaking of that, I have a boatload of work to do...

Glad to be back. Oh, and it's SO green here! I can't believe the difference in the few days I've been gone!

Things have gone to hell in a handbasket...

Well, maybe that's an exaggeration. But I called home last night, and B told me that our friend M had taken Kitten, and brought us Don Pecos. That makes Cleo the lone mare, and now the "Alpha Mare." Her mother taught her well. She has turned into a little hussy around her daddy! (Horses have no regard for propriety or laws regarding incest!)

Major appreciated this new arrangement, since Kitten is quite the prude, and sees to it that Cleo adopt her values. With Kitten gone, Major is happy to accommodate Cleo. Like many men, his mind is ruled by his quest for procreation, and he loses all sense of reality when he has that as a priority.

I understand that while tried to bring them in last night, Major stomped on B's foot, and he now has three broken toes! I am so sorry for him-- it hurts so badly. I broke my toe once and I cried like a baby.

I might have to take back what I've said-- maybe there are some men out there that could handle the pain of childbirth...

Once again, he's my hero.

Now, I just have to get home and straighten out that sassy stallion!!

What a Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday


Today


What a difference a day makes! I have only been to New York once. And it really doesn't count. B and I visited family in PA, and we drove through New Jersey and parked on the coast and took the ferry to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. It was amazing, and we will never forget it. But does it really count as a visit to NYC? I am thinking no.

So I am enjoying the view here, and have seen a little of Manhattan. Today, however, it's rainy-- to the point of flooding. So I will not venture out. I hope, however, to get out at least so that I can avoid buying my souvenirs at the airport!

I miss the farm very much. I miss the kids, and B of course, but I miss the peace that my farm brings. The smells are different, the work is different. I am not feeling well, I have a tension headache. I think it's because I am able to rest and recharge at home, but not able to do that here.

I need a farm hug-- from all of the beings that live there, from the wind that whispers to me each day, from the trees that I adore. New York doesn't give hugs, I don't believe. The lights here are impressive, but not nearly as awe-inspiring as the light from a million stars.

I do, however, have a nice view of Central Park from the 38th floor of my hotel, so I am appreciating some trees and nature.

I will be home soon. But not soon enough.