Don't Worry

My last post left a few people worried about me. Not to worry!

Someone who is an authority figure will likely be leaving my life, and leaving a large void behind. This is causing me a great deal of grief and pain, and the circumstances of his departure are very unpleasant. It's a long story, and the specifics are unimportant here. What is important is that I will get through it, and I will be stronger for it. He and I will keep in touch, and life will go on.

So what else is new?

L brought home a note from his teacher saying that his class is going to be hatching some eggs. They are seeking homes for the birds after they hatch. Guess who volunteered our home... "But MOM, there are just TWO farm kids in my class! Where will these birds GO if WE don't take them??" Okay, let's say it all together now: SUCKER! Yes, I wrote the note of consent.

Before you condemn me for being an idiot, just think of all the blogging I will be doing. Look at it as my acquisition of good blogging material.

But darnit, I had plans for that chicken coop. It would have made a cool potting shed. It truly has some cool architecture. Somebody worked hard on it when they made it. I also considered using some of the wood for the trim inside of our house. It would keep things authentic.

So, I dunno. I can't keep the birds (some sort of variety of chickens, geese and ducks) in the barn, because we have barn cats. I am also going to have to fashion something so that the trashy neighbors' dogs can't get to them.

Actually, I have no idea what poultry needs to thrive. I guess I will be doing some research.

Okay, done with thinking while typing...

B and I have worked SO hard on our yard for the past few weekends! We mowed about a half-acre of grass, back behind the garage and down the hill. There are beautiful trees down there, and cement pads that once served as a barn floor or other livestock home. The trees grew through the cement pads! We are looking forward to enjoying that area.

Our baby grass is coming up nicely in the pasture. We are still impatient, as it's such a pain to take the horses to the other pastures. And Major still has to stay in the dry paddock, unless we do a complete swap of the horses in their respective enclosures. We do, but it's not convenient. So we will be patient, and look forward to a lush pasture and few weeds.

Our neighbor K has begun his disking of his ground. It has been so unseasonably warm here that I keep wondering when they will start planting. I have to tell myself that it's only April! Hard to believe that we've had 80 degree days so far.

I have to tell you about these neighbors we have. Everybody has a tale or two about their trashy neighbors, so I will share mine. (I alluded to them above.)

Let's call my neighbor Bubba. Bubba moved in at the end of the summer, renting the house about 1/4 mile away (our nearest neighbor). Bubba just got married, and we wished him well. He "inherited" a little girl, "Annie" when he got married. Annie is 12, going on 35. She announced that our son L was her boyfriend after playing at our house once. Then she came over and told L that she was pregnant. What goes on in the mind of a 12 year old?? She calls all the time. Some days she calls in excess of 5 times. We all avoid her.

You already heard about all of my cat stories. Those were Bubba's cats. So I have a lot of respect for him, as you know. NOT.

So Bubba decides that any self-respecting farmhouse-renting country folk needs to get some dogs. So he gets himself a couple of Great Pyrenees. Yeah. Those dogs are born weighing about 100 pounds. And they are livestock guard dogs. So they need a job. Bubba decides that country dogs can run free. Come on, just think of that pretty picture! Dogs running free, playing without a care, pooping all over the neighbors' yards, chasing their horses... You can see how the vision went downhill quickly.

We were very angry about Bubba's dogs being loose. I mean, they would be loose at least 3-4 times a day. They would get into our pastures, chase the horses (who hate dogs), get into the creek, just make general nuisances of themselves. We told Bubba and Annie that the dogs risked getting killed by the horses, thinking that the threat of death would make Bubba fashion some sort of kennel or other restraint. I think they actually saw that as a challenge or something, because the dogs were loose more than ever.

And when a person lives in the country, they get accustomed to their privacy. People don't just drive by, or pop over. So imagine, all settled for the evening in your jammies, only to have your neighbor roar up your driveway to ask if you've seen his dogs. For the 27th time that day.

Well, as time went on, Bubba decided that chasing after his dogs was futile. In fact, rather than even tie the dogs up only to have them get loose and challenge his authority, he decided to just let them loose at all times. Well, no, let me rephrase that: he decided that if he tied ONE dog up, that the other would stay close.

Um, yeah, right.

And I will give him a little credit. Perhaps that WOULD have worked, had he not seen the need to acquire Dog #3. Dog #3 happens to not be quite as large of a dog. This time Bubba thought a border collie would be a good acquisition.

If you know anything about border collies, you know that they like to herd anything and everything. Bubba's border collie likes to herd my car as I drive by. I always wait for him to spring through the air, make like a 30-foot leap, as he races after my car in the cloud of dust that I leave as I barrel down the road.

K and F, our farmer friends/neighbors, spent the winter down south, so they are not aware of Bubba's Dogs and their Legacy. However, now that they are back, and getting ready to plant most of the land around us, it will be interesting to see what transpires...

I complained to the neighbor on the other side of Bubba, who keeps his dog kenneled, and he said that Bubba might be taking a job out of state and moving his family out of the farmhouse. I wonder if he'll leave the dogs for the next tenant!

Words of Wisdom

Someone for whom I have a tremendous amount of respect said these words today:

It is not enough to be understood. You must make the effort to ensure that you are not misunderstood.

He is being misunderstood right now, and it is causing me a great deal of pain. I can think of little else. I see things at our farm that make me happy, and I contrast them with his agony and sadness. It tears me apart.

I thought spring would bring resolution to this issue, but it is only bringing more conflict.

Specifics aren't important (though fyi he is no relation to me).

During this troubling time, I'm just soaking up the solace and stability that my home provides. For that peace, I am grateful.

Renovation Reflections

I was thinking again about how it was a year ago. As I look around and still see boxes that are yet to be unpacked, cracked walls, and much renovation to be done, it's easy to think about how far we have to go. And I have blogged about this before.

But we were just reflecting again this morning on what we were doing a year ago. It was a crazy move, probably one of the hardest (and we have 14 to rank).

I had a meeting in Miami finishing on the 20th. We were due to move on the 22nd. Being staff at the meetings, I always come home exhausted, so it was poor planning to move so soon after. But there was no way I could move before the meeting, and I had to schedule it asap after I got home. So the 22nd it was. B took days off before I got home, and he packed as much as he could. But when I got home, there was still much to pack. We had very little sleep, as we worked hard and worried. There were also issues with our loan, because due to some banking laws concerning farms in Iowa we had a hard time getting 20 acres financed. We also had a difficult time finding an insurance company that would insure our home because it is so remote (and far from the fire dept). So there were all of those worries also.

We hired movers, who arrived just before we headed out to our closing. The closing went very smoothly, and we had no problems. When we got home, they had loaded a great deal of the house into the truck, and I was still in the midst of packing dishes in boxes for them. About 3/4 of the way through the process, about 2:00 pm, they announced that the truck was full, and they could not get any more of our things packed inside of it. We HAD to be out that evening, since the new owner would be arriving about 6:00 to bring his things and begin moving in. I had a cleaning lady that was coming about 5:00, and I had to get the things packed up and ready for her, too. Someone had to go with the movers to the new house to instruct them where to put everything. Our new house is approx. 50 minutes from our old house, so time played a huge factor in all of this.

We decided B would go with them, and I would stay.

While I was angry, shocked, and left standing with my mouth open, there was no time for that! I left immediatly and rented a U-Haul truck. I finished packing up the kitchen, and was hoping that B would return after the movers unloaded everything so that he could help me load the truck. Time dragged on, and I decided to just move all of the things that were to be put into the truck, into the garage. That way the cleaning lady could clean, and the new owner could move his things in. Everytime I looked in a room, there was something left. A box here and there, a closet full of clothes. The laundry room's contents not packed. The entire contents of the kitchen. I had no boxes left, and was resorting to garbage bags... And on and on...

The cleaning lady did her magic, and the new owner came. He was very nice, and fortunately, very understanding. He had the DirecTV installlation the next day, so he wanted to have his TVs in the house and ready for that-- that's all. No major moves. He told me to take as long as I needed to get out. Good thing, because B didn't get back until about 9:00, and we did not leave until nearly 11:30 pm. We found a Denny's and ate supper. The kids fell asleep on their plates in the restaurant.

But the fun didn't end there, folks. The next morning, we needed to unload the U-Haul and take it the 50 minutes back to where we rented it. We were bone tired, exhausted, and got up at the crack of dawn to unload our worldly goods into our new house. We saw people drive by and wave, and wonder about these new folks. The house had been empty nearly a year.

We struggled with where to put everything. A lot of our things weren't right in the new house. We suddenly didn't need 3 couches. We have many tall, skinny windows, not a few wide ones. We do like craftsman style furniture, so all of that fit quite well, but the finishing touches were just not working. Plus, we knew we'd be tearing out carpeting and ripping off paneling. Do we just leave the things in the basement, or move them later when we began deconstructing?

And the deconstruction was such a nightmare. We couldn't sleep in the room with red carpeting and black/white wallpaper. I couldn't stand it, so within a week it was painted and transformed. Carpeting was torn out, thrown away, things were scrubbed and restured. Paneling was removed and thrown out. It took us weeks to remove all of the carpet tack strips from the living room floor. To just say "we took out the carpeting" makes it sound like it took 45 minutes! It took so long, and our knees were sore, our backs were sore for days. We would each have a claw tool and we'd sit and talk and pull staples and tacks.

So to look at the walls today doesn't make me sad, after recounting all of that.

I haven't mentioned this, but I am taking a WHOLE WEEK of vacation in May to work on my walls. I am not checking email, not working at all. I am going to pretend I'm unemployed. Well, no, I am going to pretend I am employed as a plaster wall restorer. : )

We will still have to wait on trim, but I can paint, and I can put up curtains, etc. I want to add some bookshelves and homey touches. And I want to UNPACK! I want to look at our boatload of books, and I want them to add their magical touch to the house.

I promise to take pictures.

Happy Saturday!

P.S. I forgot to mention how happy I was when our neighbor F brought us a strawberry pie the day we moved in. : ) I felt so welcome!

Air d'Esprit : )

Cool, eh? That's the farm.

365 days

Isn't this a lovely home? Isn't it a sweet color scheme, with its carefully selected clay-colored siding, cream trim (even on the corners of the siding), coordinated with the pillar color? Don't you think the burgundy was an excellent choice for the shutters-- the door paint was color matched with the vinyl shutters to ensure an exact match. Even the mailbox is burgundy! And the lawn is edged carefully, and watered faithfully. The fence was constructed to ensure privacy from neighbors and keep the dog evidence tidy. Also, behind that fence lies a color-coordinated vinyl shed and a swing set-- the quintessential play accessory for suburban children.

I know this because this was my home 366 days ago.

We had that house built for our family in 1999, on a lot of 8,569 square feet. It was a wonderful house, it was very homey, and we were ecstatic. It was the first house we ever owned, after being married for 9 years and moving 13 times. I kissed the walls in that house many times, thanking God and my lucky stars that I had such a wonderful place to live. It was very clean, very open, airy, and very sunny.

365 days ago we said goodbye to that house.

We moved to a house of similar size, but 80 years older than our previous home. The yard was a smidge larger, at 87,1200 square feet. The house had some dated decor, needed repairs, and with no central air, no dishwasher, and one bathroom (we had 3 in our previous house), it presented a drastic decrease in amenities. No swing set for the kids, just trees.

In the 365 days since we’ve lived at our farm, I have experienced so much. I have seen and heard birds that I didn’t know existed. I have listened to the coyotes bark and howl until the hairs on my neck stood straight. I have looked at the night sky so black that there is no doubt that those stars are light years away. I have watched storms move from one side of the horizon to the other, providing a dramatic light show as they crept.

As I have shared in my blog, I am trying to smell the roses, to dwell on the details and notice all of the beauty. And I couldn’t have picked a better place to be open to this beauty. Our amazing farm does not disappoint.

It’s also been a year of change for me. My expectations for a clean and orderly house have been abandoned. Sometimes I really worried deep down that I had issues like OCD, the way that my house had to be “just so.” Well, living here has cured me of that! I can’t physically keep up with the dust! Remember my issues with the mice? And snakes? And ticks?

I have lost over 25 pounds as we spend our time cleaning, moving, repairing, creating things outside. All of us have built much more muscle!

Our holidays mean more to us, and our expectations are lowered. But not really. It’s not like we are settling for less. We tried at Christmas time to prepare for the shock of getting no toys for the kids. Amazingly, L was beside himself with joy and pride as he unwrapped his own tool set. And he feels so big and important when he brings his tools out to help with a project. Is that really settling for less? I don’t think so.

The animals have initiated quite a change in our family as well. I write aobut them often, so you know how I feel about them. But we have changed our lives for them as well. Remember my trip to the hotel? We can’t go on vacation anymore without being sure to find someone to look after them.

It’s been an amazing year. I am so lucky to have what I have, to be able to enjoy the opportunities that living here provides. I am glad that I cherish the small things, too. They all add up to be life-changing.

Sorry...

for the previous post (now deleted). I took a nap, and I had begun a blog. During my nap, my son hijacked my laptop and went to bionicle.com. He somehow published my post with the bionicle.com title.

i will repost my original post shortly!

His Eye Is On the Sparrow

This morning I left for work begrudgingly. I was so discouraged after yesterday. I had two meetings today, so my work day was cut short, and I have so much to cram into the time I am at work. So I was not looking forward to leaving.

It was about to storm, the big, black clouds rolling in. Of course, the drops started before I even got to the car, all over my files and my hair.

And I got in the car, and started out the driveway. I was stunned to see two glorious rainbows. They filled up the sky. You could see from one end to the other, two concentric bows of brilliant color.

I called the house from the car (It was raining! I wasn't going to brave the rain, even for a few steps!). L answered, and before I could tell him, he said, "Mom! Look out the window! Do you see the rainbows??!! Aren't they beautiful?"

Of course they were. And I knew they were a sign to me that I was not going to drown.

Then I got to thinking: Who am I that He would send a rainbow just for me? Am I that special, is it really ALL ABOUT ME?? But then I remembered one of my favorite songs that we sing in church. It makes me cry every time:


I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free;
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

'Let not your heart be troubled,'
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears,
Tho' by the path He leadeth,
But one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

If he watches every sparrow, he can send me a rainbow.

And guess what, when I got to work BOTH meetings cancelled on me. My day is freed up again.

And so is my soul.

Hope you are feeling free today, also.

Venting

a day from hell.

is the recap done yet?
is your report finished?
did you send the documents out?
have you reviewed the files?
did you get the proposals?
have you send the invoices?

no, no and NO. i am waiting for you.
and him, and her.

there is only one of me.
there is work for four of me.

i arrive home to peace.
few expectations
easy to meet, mostly requests for food.
from furry four-legged and fleshy two-legged kids.
i can do that.
i can do it now, even!
cross that off the list.

most days i love my job.
some days i loathe it.

i love what i do, but i sometimes hate the parameters placed upon me.
get it all done-- someone else's way.
stifled creativity. stifled learning. stifled credit.

at my house i can do it my way.
and everyone thrives.

i wish i could make a living here at home.
caring for creatures
watching them thrive from my attention and love.

being interrupted only by the woodpeckers, tapping me a morse code message
that spring is here and we should all be happy.
the swallows scolding me for coming too close to their babies.
the horses for keeping them too far from each other.
the stars reminding me that this sacred ground was here long before me, and will be here long after i am gone.

my deadlines are twice a day, 5:30 am feeding and 5:30 pm feeding.
oh, and the 8:30 tuck-in.

they are grateful. they are kind-- and forgiving when i am late (after the requisite scolding)

they demand nothing except that for which i have made them depend on me-- food, clean quarters, water.

they are pure souls, no malice, no hatred, no hidden agendas.
ready to give me the benefit of the doubt.
ready to give me a purr, a lick, a ride.

they only seek what their instincts dictate: food and sex.
they have no secrets about that, they are not sorry, they ask for no favors.
no need to do it their way.
my way is fine. my judgement is best.

i am lucky.
i am so loved, so appreciated by my family
by those who matter.
by those who depend on me for what really matters.
i deliver.
and it is they who define my worth-- what makes my soul sing. what gets me up every morning.
i am lucky because i have them to love.

i am lucky because i have work.
i can pay for my home
and my friends' food and water
and bedding
some have nothing. no job, no friends
nobody to miss them all day
nobody to look for their car after work
nobody to love them back.
i am blessed, i have it all.

but today, just let me vent.

what to do

it’s raining today
i don’t even mind

the steady drumbeat of drops on the roof
calms me

makes me want to snuggle deeper under the covers
and be lulled back into a deep slumber next to my love

but there are horses to feed
laundry to wash (and put away)
breakfast to make
memories to make

after all it, it is a saturday
at our farm
a day to do nothing, yet usually something worthwhile
just because we are together

maybe play a game
maybe make a breakfast of circle toast (the house specialty)
maybe play on new laptops

maybe dance in the rain

what will you do?

Sing With Me!

Reasons to sing today:

1) Spring is here. It's the perfect day to take a late afternoon nap in a hammock (darn, I wish I had one!!)!

2) It's Friday. Time to have a beer and enjoy some music, a beautiful breeze, the setting sun, and the company of my loved ones (two-legged and four-legged).

3) I live in an amazing place. Wanna see?


(I didn't change the color on this photo-- it looks like Ireland, doesn't it?)


I love this windmill. I wish I had one.


This tree fell into the creek this winter. I think it might still be happy there. Maybe it got tired of the view!


A creek-dwelling tree.

So, sing with me! Click here to sing with my friend Mary McAdams.

I'm calling it.

Yep, I'm officially calling it Spring. As evidenced by the photos below, spring has arrived at our house. No babies here, but maybe next year we can have something around here that has a baby. I don't have any ideas yet...

One other official herald to the beginning of spring, I found a tick on me today. Ewww!! We all know how much I love ticks.

Today we attended the Iowa Horse Fair . It was so much fun! And the horses are so stunning. I bought Major a fancy gizmo that will protect his tail. It's three spandex tubes, connected at the top. You put a third of the tail hair in each tube, and then you braid the tubes together. It keeps the tail protected. There are little fringes at the bottom of the tubes to help him swat flies. We're trying to glam up his tail because M wants to show him at the Iowa State Fair in August.

Our neighbor K came down yesterday and harrowed up the part of the pasture that is bare. The previous owners had cattle here, and a large amount of them in a small area, which meant that the grass was nonexistant in the areas where they congregated. Before we had the horses to help eat all of that vegetation, it grew and grew, and we had weeds take over all of the bare spots. K mowed them down in October, and we knocked down some of the other spots that needed attention. Now he will plant brome grass and oat grass. We've also agreed to farm our back 10 acres on shares. He'll plant soybeans this spring.

Does that mean we're officially farmers? We have two crops (hay and soybeans) and livestock. Maybe livestock means that you have to make a living from it? I can't believe how hard it actually is to make a living being a farmer. K and I talked for a long while today about that sad fact. I want to take on some animals here, to make a little more money, and K told me that it's next to impossible. He used the example of hogs. It used to be that farmers could go down to the sale and buy 1-2 sows, and bring them home to start their operation. They would have babies, and then either sell the piglets or add to their stock.

But now they don't have sale barns like that, where you can buy 1 or 2 animals. The small farmer is competing with the hoglots and the factory operations. Prices are so low that you can't even make it becuase you can't recoup your costs.

Take chickens for example. Let's say that I wanted to make our farm a chicken farm. I would buy 50 chicks for $1.00 each. I would feed them, love on them, etc., for 10 weeks. Some quick research reveals that it would take 15 pounds of feed to grow a 5-pound chicken, costing approximately $1.80 per chicken. If your chicken weighs 3 3/4 pounds dressed, that's $.48 per pound. I've put $1.00 into the cost of the chicken, not to mention my time, facilties and equipment. Hy-vee is selling chicken for $1.15 per pound. Let's just say I can get $2.00 a pound for my higher-than-normal quality and farm-raised goodness. That means that I sell each chicken for $7.50, and after expenses, it yields a profit of $4.70 per bird (not including equipment and facilities). If I had 50 birds, assuming that I had no unexpected illnesses or setbacks, I could sell those birds for a whopping total of $235 for my chicken flock. Because I am a small operation, and focus on quality, I would never have more than 50 birds at once. If I did this year-round, it would yield $2350 per year.

While sometimes I complain about my job, it generally does pay me more than $2350 per year!

And so it goes with hogs and cattle, too. It's a shame. My kids are in 4H-- why? Just to keep them busy, truthfully. Those kids will never have the option to grow up and be a farmer. It's really, really sad. : (

Well, we're not giving up just yet. And we can enjoy our farm with or without animals. Here are those spring photos:

Lilac bush


Unidentified Plant (can you identify)

Pasture

Hyacinths

Hope spring is springing for you, too.

Oh my aching back!

And it's not just my back.

Yesterday, as I was preparing for my meeting which starts on Monday, I got a call about 12:30 pm from MT, our feed guy. MT also happens to be our neighbor. He was driving by the house with a load of feed, and he noticed Major on the wrong side of the fence. He called to say that since Cleo is in heat, he surmised that Major knocked the gate off and that's how the horses got out. He told me that he just put Major in the barn and Cleo was fine. "And the gelding?" I asked, "Did you just put him in the paddock with her, or back in the barn?" He said, "Gelding? You had a gelding there, too?"

Nearly six hours later, after an exhaustive search by B and I, M (the horses' owner), her friend M, and about 6 of our neighbors (most of whom we first spoke to on this occassion and by then had become quite well-acquainted), we found him. He was about 3/4 mile up the road, about 2 fields back from the main road, munching on corn stalks. He was just staring at us, as if to say, "Hey guys! Good to see you!" It took four people on foot, and two cars to get back there and TO him, and M rode him home. Thank goodness he was dog tired!

The gate did need some fixing, which I took care of this morning. I could hardly lift the gate, I was so exhausted and sore. I can't even imagine how many acres we covered yesterday, or how many times over we covered the same acreage.

Not only that, but when I got the call, I dropped everything at work and came home. I left my desk in disarray, my laptop open and on my desk, and of course, my projects unfinished. I had to go back after that, and ended up not leaving work until nearly midnight.

Isn't it a good thing I love them so much?! What we do for our furry friends...

He said to me...

“You and I are like two trees, planted side-by-side, so many years ago. We have grown together, intertwining so much so that we no longer know where one ends and the other begins.”

I have never forgotten that.

Well Gaw-lee!

I was just reading the news, and was shocked to find out that my job is listed in the top 10 sexiest careers. That's news to me!

How can people find grueling hours, sore feet, and perpetual exhaustion sexy??

I'd rather shovel poop. : )

I actually do love my job, but I am in this crazy-busy time right now, and just discouraged. It will be better at the end of next week.

Speaking of work, now back to it...

There's No Place Like Home!

I got in about 10:30 last night. I was dog tired, having been on my feet for 20 hour days the previous 4 days. I was not used to the honking in Manhattan-- the only honking I ever hear is from the geese! So I didn't sleep well. New York was fine. It was a good chance to get my "city fix" but there is NO place like home.

A funny story: One of my clients is from Vienna. The last time she and I had a chance to sit and talk was in Bermuda in 2003, and we talked about our kids, our spouses, etc. I don't usually get involved personally with them, but every once in a while you meet someone that you could really get along with and you push the envelope a little. So we had a nice talk. This year she asked me about my "cat" (no plural) and I told her about the move and the farm, and the additional cats. I asked her if she had ever seen the movie "Bridges of Madison County" and she had. She said it was her and her daughter's favorite movie! I told her I lived in the midst of Madison county and all of the bridges. It is funny, someone who has never been to the midwest can picture my house and surroundings because of that movie. She said she was jealous, and would love to visit. I just might have her over!

i drove up, and the horses were out. Major neighed at me angrily, and I went over to see him. Instead of coming up to the gate to meet me, he turned his back to me and wouldn't come up to me! He was so mad!! I loved on him a little, and just like a typical man, he came around with a little snuggling. : )

Today was about 70 degrees, and I rode for a long time. It was wonderful. I am still really busy, I have another meeting next Monday-Wednesday, but I have been really blessed to be able to come home, take a break and ride, spend time in the barn, etc., and then get back to work (from home) after the kids go to bed. It has made my stress level much more manageable.

Speaking of that, I have a boatload of work to do...

Glad to be back. Oh, and it's SO green here! I can't believe the difference in the few days I've been gone!

Things have gone to hell in a handbasket...

Well, maybe that's an exaggeration. But I called home last night, and B told me that our friend M had taken Kitten, and brought us Don Pecos. That makes Cleo the lone mare, and now the "Alpha Mare." Her mother taught her well. She has turned into a little hussy around her daddy! (Horses have no regard for propriety or laws regarding incest!)

Major appreciated this new arrangement, since Kitten is quite the prude, and sees to it that Cleo adopt her values. With Kitten gone, Major is happy to accommodate Cleo. Like many men, his mind is ruled by his quest for procreation, and he loses all sense of reality when he has that as a priority.

I understand that while tried to bring them in last night, Major stomped on B's foot, and he now has three broken toes! I am so sorry for him-- it hurts so badly. I broke my toe once and I cried like a baby.

I might have to take back what I've said-- maybe there are some men out there that could handle the pain of childbirth...

Once again, he's my hero.

Now, I just have to get home and straighten out that sassy stallion!!

What a Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday


Today


What a difference a day makes! I have only been to New York once. And it really doesn't count. B and I visited family in PA, and we drove through New Jersey and parked on the coast and took the ferry to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. It was amazing, and we will never forget it. But does it really count as a visit to NYC? I am thinking no.

So I am enjoying the view here, and have seen a little of Manhattan. Today, however, it's rainy-- to the point of flooding. So I will not venture out. I hope, however, to get out at least so that I can avoid buying my souvenirs at the airport!

I miss the farm very much. I miss the kids, and B of course, but I miss the peace that my farm brings. The smells are different, the work is different. I am not feeling well, I have a tension headache. I think it's because I am able to rest and recharge at home, but not able to do that here.

I need a farm hug-- from all of the beings that live there, from the wind that whispers to me each day, from the trees that I adore. New York doesn't give hugs, I don't believe. The lights here are impressive, but not nearly as awe-inspiring as the light from a million stars.

I do, however, have a nice view of Central Park from the 38th floor of my hotel, so I am appreciating some trees and nature.

I will be home soon. But not soon enough.

Today was the best day so far this year at our farm. Well, work was crappy and the house was a mess, but I mean the kind of day that just makes you count your blessings.

It must have been 75 today, unseasonably warm. The breeze was warm, and even after dark it was balmy. I went out to bring everybody inside and give them hay and a smooch goodnight. I stood out there in the yard for what seemed like forever, just smelling the night smells-- the smell of earth, horses, grass, an awakening nature. It was magical! The frogs in the creek were croaking away, in their vibrato chorus, hearlding the end of winter.

Everywhere I've lived, I've found peace. I have stood outside and stared at each venue's version of the night sky, smelled the smells, and considered myself lucky. But in each place, if you listened hard enough you could hear the things you blocked out when you heard "nothing." Passing cars, honking buses, trains in the distance.

Not here. You hear nothing but the frogs and the wind. I could hear a horse stepping on a stick hundreds of yards away. In the distance I could hear coyotes. There is no white noise to block out, nothing to pretend you don't hear.

I am so very, very lucky.


Friday, Kitten will be leaving our farm. She is going to be leased to a little girl who will dote on her. We will be hosting Don Pecos, another Morgan, whom we know and love.

Don Pecos is a therapy horse. I had the amazing honor of helping a boy named Cody ride Pecos. Cody has what I suspect to be significant autism. He could not talk, but he did make efforts at communication.

That horse and little boy made the most amazing team. Cody would mumble his mumblings and somehow Pecos would understand. At the end of my time with him, we made signs, "walk", "jog", "stop." Cody would have to find his words to tell Pecos to stop, walk or jog as appropriate. Sort of like road signs.

And he did it! He was amazing. And even though nobody else could understand Cody without having to pay extremely close attention, Pecos focused all of his attention on Cody and understood every word. When Cody said jog, Pecos jogged. When he said walk, Pecos walked. Sometimes I wonder if horses somehow can read your mind.

I wouldn't be surprised.

We're looking forward to having Pecos here. I'll take pictures, of course.

Moving Out.

Sergeant O’Leary is walking the beat
At night he becomes a bartender.
He works at Mr. Cacciatore’s
Down on Sullivan Street
Across from the medical center.
He’s saving up his pennies for a Cadillac.
And if you can’t drive with a broken back
At least you can polish the fenders.
If that’s what you have in mind
If that’s what it’s all about
Good luck moving up
Cause I’m moving out.

That’s what we did, we moved out to our farm.

Want to hear what we moved out to? Click here.

Happy Easter.

Reflection

Resurrection.

That's the theme for today. It hit me in the face when I went out to feed the horses this morning. My hyacinths are poking through the ground. The birds were in full chorus this morning, singing to the point of chaos! You can smell the earth, it makes you want to breathe as deeply as you can and drink it all in.

Our temperature was over 60 today, so it is beautiful. We worked hard yesterday and finished the paddock, so today we spent the day doing what we wanted. I planted a few perennials around the paddock to get rid of the shaggy look of the place. I also planted berry bushes in the back - raspberry, blueberry & blackberry bushes.

I rode for a long time. Major was exhausted when we were done, and my legs were like jello! It was a great feeling, and I can't wait to do it again. Tomorrow it is supposed to be in the mid 70's. I'm supposed to have a meeting tomorrow after 5pm, but maybe I can move it. It will be a great day for a ride tomorrow as well!

I can't wait until my busy time is over. I am looking forward to so much more time in the saddle.

We'll we're about to sit down to a nice Easter dinner of ham, potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls, and pumpkin & cherry pie!

I hope your Easter is a blessed one.

Sorry. : (

I am still here. Thanks, Michael, for prodding me to poke my head in and say hello.

Work is keeping me very busy. I have not ridden (or written) as much as I have wanted to. I bring work home every day, and many days I am working right up until bedtime, which is 10:30-12:00, depending. I am preparing for two meetings. One is in New York and has been difficult. It's a difficult venue and a difficult client. The second meeting is for my new client, as a result of my promotion. That meeting is in Iowa, and easy, but I am trying to dot every i and cross every t, as I want to make an excellent first impression. I am also studying for a test for a certification for my line of work. It is very difficult, and I began studying at the beginning of the year for a test I plan to take in December.

I will be back in my down time mid April, so I expect to be back to blogging more than weekly. I hope you all stick around, because I have a lot to say. : ) I always have a lot to say, this time of year I just don't have a lot of time to say it!

I don't want to talk about work here. The blog isn't about my work, it's about my farm and my adjustment to living in the country. But work is the reason that I have not shared my insight lately, and I felt like I owed you an explanation. I can see who comes in and visits, so I know that you continue to be faithful visitors, even if I am not a faithful blogger.

So, please bear with me. I promise to be back in full cheek, insolence and impudence very soon!! I promise to provide tales of snakes, ticks and ladybugs! I promise hours of entertainment and intrigue on life in the country!

Oh, and I'm working on a bit of a surprise for you...

(Come on MK, let's do this!!)

A quick update before I go back to work (yes, I am blogging on work time, but I figure it's fair because I often work on blogging time). Things at the farm are greening up quite nicely! We finished the fence in the paddock, and Major is enjoying investigating his new surroundings. The girls often come up and taunt him, they turn around, shake their booties to get his interest, and then kick at him. Poor guy... He is finding a lot of tender new grass in there to nibble on, and he's been happily rolling in the dirt the second you turn him out.

It rained yesterday and today, I bet it will really be green tomorrow. Not only that, but it's supposed to be over 70 degrees early next week, and one day of warm weather and it will be instant spring.

I don't have any bulbs at my house. At my old house I had some tulips, daffodils, crocus and hyacinths. They really heralded spring in a big way. I often brought a bouquet into my office to cheer myself up! I will have to plant some in the fall, I really miss them.

We planted seeds a couple of weeks ago. In Wisconsin we used to benchmark the corn as being knee-high by the 4th of July. My corn sprouts are going to be knee-high by next week, since I stupidly started them inside. I rationalized that maybe they would be sturdier and resist the rabbits (wrong) when they were put out. B reminded me that the taller ones are especially appealing to deer. : ) But you know, it is cheap entertainment. If I lose them all because I planted them too early, at least I had a few weeks of anticipation of spring as I watched and waited for them to sprout. The beans, peas, cucumbers and sunflowers are all about as high as the corn. The columbines and lavender have yet to sprout. I have not yet started the tomatoes.

I hope you are feeling some spring in your neck of the woods.

Have a peaceful and blessed weekend.

I've missed blogging!

Have you missed my postings?

I hate to use the cliche excuse of work, but that is the truth. In my wish to remain somewhat "generic" I haven't revealed anything about my career. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that my busy times are very, very busy. I have put in some 12-15 hour days lately. Sometimes I stay at work, and sometimes I bring my work home. Sadly (or not!) when I get home, the last thing I want to do is work at my job. I would rather work in the barn or outside, or even clean my house, than do "work-work" (as I call it).

I have also not felt well. I think I had a sinus infection. I am now just about over it, and looking at all of the things that I have neglected in favor of going to bed early and resting in the afternoons.

But enough of that.

Spring is nearly here. When I left for work this morning, it was a balmy 41 degrees. It rained some this afternoon, and when I got home, it was greener. I can SEE the difference between this morning and this afternoon. It's amazing.

The horses are spending much more time grazing than with their head stuck in the bale of hay. The grass is under the dead, winter-beaten vegetation, but it is there. The horses move their top lip back and forth against the ground to push the dead grass out of the way and find the tender new growth. It's funny to watch them. I think they are anxious for spring, too. I know that the summer heat can be hard on them, but I caught Major dozing in the warm breeze in his stall the other day. I know he was wishing for spring as much as I am.

We worked hard on the paddock last weekend. We will need to finish it up this weekend, but we made a lot of progress. We tore down all of the old, and B has dug about half of the 7 holes for the new posts. I removed the cattle panel from the old posts and hauled away the rotten ones (I will use them for landscaping). I even bought plants to plant where the sections of the pasture used to be. They will benefit nicely from the nearby spigot I use to fill the horses' buckets.

I hope springtime is coming to your house. Or at least to your heart.



Believe me now?

What a Weekend!

It was a gorgeous weekend. Unfortunately, I worked hard on Saturday, "saving" my Sunday for a ride. It was forecast to be 70 degrees! It was warm and wonderful, but turned out to be incredibly windy, preventing me from riding. Now it's going to get down into the 30's again (which is still very bearable...), and I'll have to wait for another great day to ride. It's rare that they fall on a weekend.

However, we did get a lot done. We are going to make some wire partitions for the stalls, just to keep everyone in line. Cleo chews the cross tie next to her stall, and sometimes chews the wood. Everyone else has partitions in their barn. : ) We started that process, and got quite far, but didn't finish. We figured we could save that for a colder day, since it was an inside project.

We cleaned up the paddock. When the previous owners had a new septic tank put in, they tore up the fence and left piles of dirt and debris in the paddock. It soon became overgrown with weeds. We stomped them all down, and cleaned up the junk. It won't take much to fix the fence, and then all three horses can go out at once-- Major can go in the paddock. Hopefully the next nice weekend will be spent fixing that. The paddock looked like some sort of prairie set aside! We were shameful farmers... Now it will look more lived in and well-kept.

We did have a visitor yesterday. He slipped quietly in the back door, and remained unnoticed until my kids came running to tell me of his presence. He was on his way downstairs to the basement, probably inviting himself to dinner when they spotted him. We figured he wouldn't find much to eat down there, so we invited him to dine in the machine shed.

We never did catch his name...


(this picture isn't actually him, it's a distant relative, I think!)

It was positively balmy last night. The wind had died down, and it was a warm wind. It smelled so good, like earth and life. I could have soaked it in for hours.

I went to bed bone tired (and woke up the same!).

Hope your weekend was as good...


OH! I emailed Michael some interview questions. Stop by and see his answers! All of the rest of you must be scared to answer my questions!! Chickens!

The "Interview Me" Game

My friend Michael invited his visitors to play this game. One of his regular blog visitors asked him five questions, and he responded on his blog. I volunteered to play, and he has asked me five questions. Five people can respond to me, and I will ask them five questions, for them to answer on their blog.

Now, it seems that Michael, while he fancies himself a lurker, has been one of just a few of you to post comments. You think I don't know who you are, but that's not true. I know the vast majority of the 871 of you who have surfed into my website! So come out of the woodwork, and let me ask you some questions! Post a reply and I will make up some questions for you to answer!

Here are Michael's questions and my answers. And be warned, the questions are basic, straightforward questions, but I can NEVER give a basic, straightforward answer!!

1. What was the name of your favorite pet growing up?
This is an interesting question, one with a complicated answer (see, I told you!!). I have never had a deeper love for a pet than I have for my dog Raven. She has been my companion for 7 years now, and I have never known a more loyal four-legged soul.

There have been other pets that I have loved, for different reasons.
Growing up we had a dog named King. He was a mutt, some sort of collie mix, that came to our door one day. He was so loyal. We fed him and he stuck like glue. We weren't supposed to have dogs in the rental house we lived in, and we gave him to a family member who lived about 20 miles away. About a week later, he showed up at our door! He had run the entire way home! I had a cat named Daisy at that time. Daisy got hit by a car, poor soul, right after she had kittens. King loved her kittens like they were his babies. He snuggled and loved on them. King's obsession was fetching. That dog would border on annoying because he would ALWAYS want to fetch. You would be sitting there, and he would drop something (sticks, balls, even ROCKS, if he were desperate!) at your feet. If you ignored him, he would jump on it, like he was trying to get you to notice. He'd pick up the object and put it on your feet, just in case you weren't sure what he wanted. : ) We moved to our own house a few years later, and we lived on another busy highway. King, true to his nature, fetched a stick that a nasty neighbor boy threw in the highway. A semi truck was coming and couldn't stop in time for King. My heart is still broken because of what that boy did.

I have had many, many pets over the years. Cats include: Daisy, Meadows (with 7 toes!), Sniffles, Puddy, Milton, Pooky, Val and of course my current kitties: Shadow, Nic, Bub, B.B., Mark & Tippy. My dogs have been: Button, King, Abby, Woeful (he and Abby were Basset Hounds), Bozo (she liked Gin), and my current pups Raven & Rocky.

I had a guinea pig named Wilbur, and a couple of hamsters over the years.

I always wanted horses, but still don't have any of my own. I take care of my friend's horses, Major, Kitten & Cleo. We have also cared for Cosmo & Fruity here.


2. What kind of music moves you the most?
I am a fickle person. What makes me happy one day will not do it for me the next. Someone once remarked that our music collection was very vast and unusual. We have everything from Van Morrison to Madonna to Nirvana to Tchaikovsky, and a whole lot more non-mainstream musicians. I love 80's music, if I am in a silly, fickle mood. If I am needing motivation, I like Indian music. For some reason that gets the lead out. I am a definite child of the 80's, so some of the songs from that genre make me nostalgic. My parents were borderline hippies, so I grew up on the Rolling Stones and the Doors. (Mom and Dad, you guys have great taste!) At the moment I am listening to Brimful of Asha by Cornershop. Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow!


3. OK admit it, now that you got me hooked. How were you first attracted to the Corn Cam?
The answer is a boring one, sadly. I was perusing Iowa Farmer Today, and saw the corn cam. : )


4. Tell us about a happy moment.
I have lots of them. One just happened a few minutes ago- my son heard me playing Brimful of Asha, and he came down and asked me to turn it up. Then we danced together. : )

My life doesn't have a lot of powerful "turning point" moments. Of course, I will never forget the day I met my husband, the day he proposed, the day we married, the moments my children were born, etc. But anyone can get married. It takes years and years of small, meaningful moments to build the amazing partnership we have. Same with children. Your childhood is built on a framework of small moments stacked up.

I like moments that I am reminded. I have written about moments that I am reminded how God is in charge, looking at the stars, seeing a sunrise. I love riding, because it focuses me on the task at hand, not the bills, or work, or the laundry. I like spending time in the barn because it reminds me that sometimes the poop is most important. : )


5. What is the biggest snowstorm that you have seen?
Growing up in Wisconsin, I have seen a lot of snow. I can't really remember storms in terms of inches, but growing up I remember snow so high that we couldn't open the door!

My favorite kind of snow is the soft, big flakes. The ones that you can hear when they land on the snowy blanket.

Bliss

Well, I got my new girth today, and it fits!! The 48" would have fit better, but the 46" did the trick. All the parts are all stiff and new also, so after things are broken in a bit, it will be easier.

Riding in that saddle is amazing!! I always have to consciously lower my center of gravity when I ride, often I start my ride feeling like I am sitting on top of the horse, and I know I have reached the ideal point when I feel like I am one with him. I feel like I have shrunk a few inches, like I am actually shorter. Well, riding in the Stubben it was instantly comfortable. Like putting on your favorite pair of shoes or sweats. It fit well, and at first I thought my stirrups were too long. But in actuality, it was juuuuust right. : ) All that time riding in a saddle that didn't fit makes me appreciate how good a nice, well-fitting saddle feels. My center of gravity lowered instantly.

I didn't ride very long. I had a meeting after work, and I came home and a kitty invited me to pet him on the bed. The next thing I knew, B was home and waking me up. He saw that the girth had come and wanted to know why my butt wasn't in the saddle! He helped me groom Major and lunge him (to get the jitters out) and gave me a leg up.

After I was on, B had a million questions: "How did it feel? Does it feel better? Can you tell the difference?" So I told him to get on. I was proud of him, he has ridden only 2 times since I've known him (that will be 18 years this fall), and he got right on the stallion. And he didn't even need a leg up. : D

I told him to concentrate on plugging into the saddle and lowering his center of gravity, and he did really well. I led Major around, but that isn't what's important. He really did well on his awareness.

Oh, and he LOVED Tristan!

It's supposed to be 53 degrees tomorrow, and 55 on Sunday. Guess what I will be doing!!

I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Friday night I attended an amazing performance of Fiddler on the Roof, by Troika Productions out of Washington, DC. I was invited as the guest of an area hotel that I have done business with in the past. The hotel hosted a decadent "Fiddler" themed reception before the event, complete with smoked salmon, caviar, a vodka-bottle-shaped ice sculpture holding shots of exotic-flavored vodka, and a violinist (fiddler?). After the show, we stayed overnight in our complimentary guest room, and enjoyed breakfast in the morning, also on the hotel. The kids enjoyed the restaurant and the swimming. : )

So, Saturday morning we woke up at the crack of dawn, sped the entire 1.5 hour drive, and arrived home to be lectured by our four-legged bosses for being negligent. We had served Friday's supper WAY too early, and Saturday's breakfast was coming a full four hours late. This was not acceptable.

I rushed from the car, ran in the back porch, put on my boots and barn coat, and proceeded to spend the remainder of the morning shoveling shit. Right where I belong. : )

You know, it's good to be home.

My Hero

Well, I got "Tristan" last week, and he is slick. However, I needed a different girth becuase the one we use now was too short. So for the past few days I just stared at the saddle and polished it up with some mink oil. I ordered a new girth, trying to find the best compromise size that would fit both Kitten and Major.

Today I got the girth. I had a sinking feeling before I even put it on him that it would be too long (Kitten is much bigger around than Major). It just fit and I thought it was actually a bit too loose, but I decided to ride him anyway. I am dying to feel that saddle!!

I tried to mount in the pasture, but I can never get my leg over, mounting from the ground. He's a Morgan, and small, but I am too old, too fat and too short to mount without a leg up. So I led him back to the barn where I used a cinder block (B was not home from work yet for me to use his leg). All was good until the cinder block got squished down in the mud. I lost my footing, but grabbed onto Major for dear life, and the saddle slid sideways. I shoved it back on him and tried again. This time I was successful, and nearly had my leg over when the saddle really slid sideways again.

This entire time he stood as still as a statue. It was amazing. This is a stallion, the one who bites, who sasses me at every turn, who normally takes off while I am still mounting, who spooks at his own shadow. He must have known what was going on.

So there he stood, with the saddle on his side, with me exasperated, spitting mad, cussing through my teeth. He never once lost his cool, even when I took the saddle off the wrong side, etc. He was such a gentleman. I was so proud of him, I gushed. It overpowered my anger about the saddle.

I gave him a lot of candy. : )

Happy Day!

I checked the website and Val has been adopted!! I wonder if they know how close to death he came. That is the only thing that makes me a little sad-- that I can't tell them how close he was to death. But here, he had to live in a big kennel because he was too weak, and Nic kept trying to attack him. At his forever home, he can be free. He is so loving and sweet, that I am sure he will make someone a lovely friend. Lucky them.

Speaking of Nic, he is at the vet right now. He is no longer the fearsome tom that he fancies himself! He will come home tomorrow a little lighter, and hopefully with a little less cattitude.

: )

It's a good day.

Have you been watching the Strohbehn's horse cam? Red is due to foal any day! She's at day 343 today (horses have a 340 day gestation period) so it will truly be any day!

I posted that darn link as a half joke, and now I am addicted. I horse watched all day at work! I guess if I can't watch the horses here, I will have to watch someone else's...

What did you watch today?

Ag Cams

I was quite aghast at the fact that some of you (and you know who you are) just did not know about the Iowa Corn Cam. Therefore, I am making an earnest effort to educate you on the various agriculture cams throughout our great state. I hope you find them entertaining!

Soybean cam It's not up and working yet, as it's not springtime yet. Can you feel the excitement building as spring gets closer? I wonder if you will see the billions of Asian Lady Beetles as they make a beeline to our farm when the soybeans are harvested! Let's stay tuned all year to find out!

Quarter Horse Cam (Foaling, with a foal expected any day!)

KB Hilltop Stables Cam (this is a famous cam)

Tractor Cam Not really a cam, but let's cut them a little slack.

Corn Cam

Cow Cams (3 different options!)

Llama Cam and Pasture Cam

Butter Cow Webcam at the Iowa State Fair (a historical shot, maybe will be updated in August)

Swine Cam at the Iowa State Fair (a historical shot, maybe will be updated in August)

Bored

It's one of those boring days. Today I feel like watching corn grow.

Consumed

He consumes my thoughts. I can't concentrate at work, awaiting his arrival. I anticipate the day when he waits for me as I pull into the drive. I will smell his smell, soak it in. I will run my fingers over his smoothness. I will revel in the notion that he is finally mine. All the time I have spent wanting him, yearning for him, is no longer in vain.

His name is Tristan.
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Yes, Tristan. He was my Valentine's gift, from my Valentine. I can't wait to take him for a spin!!

Hired Help

Allow me to take a moment to introduce the hired help at our farm. They all operate on the basic premise of “will work for food” but the amount of work they actually do varies from employee to employee. We pride ourselves on our hiring practices, so some of our help have multiple job titles.


Name: Raven
Job Title: Motherer of all that breathes
Raven is the four-legged mother. She is kind, loving, and full of compassion. She is always willing to use the forlorn look to get her way, especially if “her way” involves a rawhide bone or food of any sort. Her special talent is catching food in mid-air. She also likes to eat horse apples. Her breath could drop a herd of charging rhinos in mid-gallop anyway, and adding apples to her diet really doesn’t improve things. She hates to have her picture taken, so this photo is basically a dirty look at the camera.


Name: Rocky
Job Title: Wearer of the Dunce Cap, Stuffed Animal Destroyer, Fearer of Friendly Cats, HazMat Drill Team Leader
You know when a guy is going on a blind date, and the matchmaker says, “she’s got a great personality?” So it is with Rocky. He really has a great personality, and his looks are pretty good, too. However, he is dumb as a bag of hammers. Usually this provides us with some humor, so it has value, but his low IQ does, at times, make it difficult to establish order. He does not sit well, does not lie down well, has no ability to speak, shake, roll over, fetch, or any other trick that Raven can do. But he loves us very much, and we love him. Rocky’s breath is sweet, but his gas makes up for it. He also shakes visibly when approached by a cat looking for something warm to curl up next to.


Name: Shadow
Job Title: King of Crank, Heavyweight Champ, Bad-Ass Wannabe, Heat Seeker
Shadow is the King of Crank. He always has a scowl for everyone. He is the typical bitter old man, angry at the youth for being young. He has everyone beat in the age and weight department. Somehow he does have redeeming qualities, and I love him dearly! He especially likes to be warm and if anyone is curled up under a blanket, you will find him there, too.


Name: Nic
Job Title: Havoc-wreaker apprentice
Head of the “kill anything that moves” department. He is known for battling pens, toes, bugs, lint, cotton balls, dogs’ tails, dust, and even imaginary foes. If you ask him, he’ll tell you he always wins. We are hoping for the invention of some sort of “kitty Ritalin” (Kitalin ™) so we can get some sleep. Most of his battles take place at night.


Name: Bub
Job Title: Temp, former Spy
Bub is on injured reserve at the moment, battling a broken leg. She is doing well, and will come out swinging pretty soon. She is skilled in paw-to-mouse combat, and will likely serve to put Nic in his place when the time comes. She is a former spy, turned to the good side.


Name: Code Names Unknown
Job Title: Spies
We named them just to differentiate them. Of course, being spies, they have super secret code names that only they know. We are not sure of their true identities or purposes. They come and go, very stealthily. I have seen them frequent the neighbor farms, spreading our secrets and collecting information. We know that they do not like Egyptian Cotton Sheets or other excessive pamperings.


Name: B.B.
Job Title: Spy
B.B. is the mother spy. She is very well traveled and worldly. I have seen her out and about over a mile away. She lived at our farm before we moved in.


Name: Mark
Job Title: Spy Baby
Mark is an embedded spy. He lives here pretty permanently, in the barn. Mark enjoys hanging out under the horse feeders, looking for mice. He is often successful at finding them. Mark’s name is Mark because he has a gray mark on his side. All the spies look so similar!


Name: Tippy
Job Title: Spy Baby
So named because of his white tipped tail, he is also a spy. We see him every few days, lurking about around feeding time, no doubt ready to share some juicy secret with the other spies over a bowl of cat food.


Name: Major
Job Title: Big Bad Biter
King of Sass, Chief Cheek, Toothy Terror. He is the big, bad stallion. Or, the big sissy, depending on how you look at it. In this photo, he is showing off his gleaming smile. Like all men, Major thinks that he is King of his Domain, but alas, he is just the Court Jester. His favorite things to do are smelling where the mares have been, eating hay and yelling at his peeps when they do not serve him as expected. He also likes to be walked like a dog, and has fun coming up to the back door and playing “Avon Stallion.” He also enjoys trips down the driveway to the mailbox.


Name: Kitten
Job Title: Farm Parliamentarian
Keeper of the rules. No deviation from the rules is permitted. Kitten is a big love, but don’t request a rule change, or prepare to be kicked. Kitten rules with an iron hoof. Kitten likes to eat hay and hang out.


Name: Cleo
Job Title: Love Ambassador
Cleo is sweet, kind, and gentle. She tries to break the rules now and again, just to keep Kitten on her hooves. It works! Cleo is Kitten and Major’s daughter. Cleo’s favorite activity is running around the pasture bucking and farting.

Quiet

Quiet is the theme for today. I am trying to stay quiet and pensive. I always say the smartest babies are those who don't cry, and just look around and take it all in.

I'm trying to be like that, just spending more time absorbing and listening, than running my mouth and mind to make comments and judgements.

So on the way home I saw a herd of deer. Probably about 12 of them, crossing the road. They were magnificent. I suppose they're ordinary, around here. Quite commonplace, and even a nuisance to some. But, to me, they are amazing. Quiet (in keeping with today's theme!), soft, unimposing. Cautious and calm. I watched them as long as I was able, as they jumped the fence on the top of the hill on the east side of the road, then bounded downhill to the road, cautiously crossed it and jumped the fence to the west, heading into the forest along the railroad track.

Closer to my house I saw a male pheasant. Crisp and colorful, in all of his glory. And so quiet. I slowed and spent a moment just appreciating his beauty.

I did my afternoon chores, and spent some extra time just being calm and enjoying. It's overcast and gray, foggy in some spots. Still and quiet. I noticed that there are no birds around. I realize that in winter there are fewer birds, but today the trees around my house were completely void of birds and bird sounds. That was a little sad. I hope they come back soon.

Bye Val. : (

Yesterday B and the kids took Val to the animal shelter. I had to work, so they did it while I was gone. I am glad for that, because I would have had to tell the whole story of his rescue to the kind folks working there. B did, he made sure they knew that he was a rescue, but I would have made them repeat it back to me a few times, swearing that they would pass the info along to his new family. The kids were fine with taking him, and things seem a little more back to normal around here.

You can see his picture here (not posted just yet, but keep watching with us and hoping that he finds a forever home!):

Raccoon Valley Humane Society

Bye Val. You deserve a pampered, love-filled life.

Bub is doing well. I saw her scratch her ear with her broken leg, so she can't be in all that much pain. Actually, she's never been in all that much pain, really. But I think it's still going to be a week or so before she can come out. Nic will pounce on her immediately, I just know it. The dogs will be curious, Shadow will fight if incited. Plus, with all those animals underfoot, one is always getting stepped on. I want her to be able to take all of that without getting hurt. So it will be a while before she can come out. I love on her in the evenings, and let her walk around, and she is putting weight on her leg now, so I am confident all will work out!

Happy Sunday!

Vote for my bridge!!

(Isn't this a GREAT photo, taken by David Ely??!!)

Click and vote for my bridge!

Vote early, vote often!

I know what it is...

that is causing my funk.

I miss the green! Don't get me wrong, I love the snow, too. I think I love the snow because it makes me appreciate the green.

I was reminded today when I saw my pictures from the summer.

Time

It goes by so fast. Before I know it, it's the weekend again.

My apologies for the less frequent updates. It's a combination of a few things:

1) I received a promotion at the first of the year. I guess it should have occurred to me that along with the fancy new title comes a fancy new stack of work. I work a lot from home and though the view from my "office" is great, I would rather be outside participating in the view! So I have been consumed with work.

2) Not much has been happening at our farm. We are just doing the daily things, trying to get from one day to the next. We have worked a bit on the ceiling in the dining room, but the progress is really too slow to get excited about.

3) I am somewhat disenchanted. That's probably not the right word. Maybe a little depressed, maybe discouraged, not sure. I was really serious about the organizational stuff I wrote about earlier. That kind of thing eats me inside. I'm tired of looking at a mess, and not having the money to do a complete transformation. Oh sure, we have the money for this, that and the other, but not the $50,000 it would take to have someone come in and do what we need done in a short period of time.

We bought the house knowing full well what needed to be done. This isn't a surprise. Nothing has been a surprise, except how much I love this place. I didn't expect to love it this much. And we bought it wanting to do the work on our own. We realized it would be slow and (hopefully) steady.

I had a talk with someone at work, and he told me to stop caring so much. Not to care what people think. I can say that I'm not too judgemental of a person, but if I saw someone living in a house with walls like mine -- that was content to live like that for a long period of time-- I would wonder what is up with them. I think that my discomfort with the situation motivates me to change it. So how do I strike the balance between caring enough to motivate myself to get these things done, and caring so much that I am beside myself with anxiety that the work is not getting done fast enough?

When I am pressed for time because of work, I can't get anything accomplished. At the moment, I am staring at a pile of work. Work for work. I am looking at about 4 loads of laundry that need to be done. I can see a messy kitchen, carpets needing to be vacuumed, a bathroom needing to be cleaned. B will be home soon and I have not yet started supper.

And so I blog.

What's in the Water?

Did you know that mares go into a time of anestrous? When the days get shorter and the temperatures drop, they stop going into heat each month. It's convenient for me, because I have 2 mares and a stallion. During the warmer time, when they have monthly cycles, they go outside in shifts. The girls go during the day, and when I get home from work in the afternoon, I let the stallion out alone.

I can let them out together between cycles, but since one of the mares is his daughter, it's critical that they do not breed. So I am a little nervous about taking that chance.

It is actually good for them to be out together, because like in the wild, the girls rule the roost. The boys are around for one thing... It's nice to see them all running around at full speed chasing each other to establish the hierarchy. When Major goes out alone, he just stands around and eats grass. The fresh air is good for him, but it's nicer to see him running and engaged.

Which is why I looked forward to anestrous. But, here it is January, and it hasn't happened. M keeps telling me it's because the temperatures have been warmer. But not this month! It's been frigid, below zero at times. Today will be the first day above freezing in ages (yay!). Kitten is in heat-- again. And Cleo is acting like she is. Kitten and Major are stalled next to each other, and there is all kinds of carrying on and fussing going on between the boards! In the summer, we went in one morning and he had kicked a board down in between the stalls! Kitten is moody, too, and Major is all testosterone and stallion-like. It's much easier to deal with them both at other times of the month.

I think M wants to breed Kitten in the spring, but not this early. So I continue my summertime routine of swapping them in/out of the pasture. This summer I may run water to the north pasture and put horses out there, so they can go out at the same time, and be truly separated.

I wonder what is making the girls continue their heat cycles? I don't know if they are false heats, or if they are truly fertile. Whatever it is, I am not drinking the well water.

A Place for Everything, and Everything in Its Place

That is so not the case with me.

When I lived in the suburban house, I was extremely organized. I didn't have a lot of storage space, but I had shelves and things streamlined "just so."

Here it is completely the opposite. I drive myself crazy because nothing is ever put in its place. I have boxes left to unpack. I was sweeping the floor today, and I wondered aloud why I even bothered. The house never seems to get cleaned. I don't know if it is because things truly don't have a place, or if it's because the walls aren't finished (it will never LOOK clean until that happens), or if it's because we are busier outside and with other priorities and don't have time to clean and put things away. Maybe a little of each.

In any case, it drives me absolutely nuts. So crazy that I have a screaming session at least once a month and threaten to throw everything away. I have found FreeCycle, and will definitely put it to use!

Michael Knight told me today that I don't blog enough. He says he's getting bored.

MK, how can my lack of organizational skills and facilities interest you?

******

Have you ever been upclose to a big round bale of hay? I really had never been until I became the proud owner of 14 of them.

Truth be told (and it always is around here), before I met B, I dated a farmer for 5 years. I nearly married him. But those details are a story for another day... My point is that I spent some time on his farm. I drove the tractor and baled hay. I helped him stack hay in the haymow. I helped him milk cows, or at least kept him company.

But the bales I helped with were the small, square kind. These big round bales today are totally different. I suppose it's not very exciting for someone who knows all about them, but for me it's a new experience.

They are big. HUGE. A small bale is about 50-70 pounds. Yes, the small ones can be a little heavy, but for the most part relatively easy to handle. A few weeks ago I unloaded and stacked 15 bales by myself in about 15 minutes. Not a big deal. A big round bale is 1200-1500 pounds. (Mine are, anyway.) They are taller than I am, I can't see the top of them. You can't move them without a bale spear or without dragging them behind a truck or something. Since we have 14 bales of grass hay, and we're buying alfalfa, we decided to cut down on the alfalfa over the winter and feed the grass hay. We have a bale in the pasture, and two in the barn. It's not the easiest thing to do, but we tear hay from the bales several times a day and cart wheelbarrows full of hay to each of the horses. It's like a big spiral, but not uniform. My forearms are really cramped and tired after pulling 6 wheelbarrows full of hay.

It looks as though we will not use even half of the 14 bales this winter. Do you want to buy a bale or two?

A Good Day

We're having a cold spell. Tonight's weather:

Mostly clear. Low around 10 below. West wind near 10 mph. Wind chill readings 4 below to 16 below zero.

There's one thing that is begging to be done when it's this cold. Well, okay, there's THAT, but that's not the kind of blog I have! ; ) Home Improvement! That's what you do when it's unbearably cold!

We took down all the ceiling tiles in the dining room, and on the angled ceiling going up the stairs. I decided that the ceiling going upstairs was not going to be tiled in the future, so I took down the furring strips, anticipating significant damage. I was pleasantly surprised! There wasn't much damage at all! That gives me hope that there is not too much damage on the ceilings in the living & dining rooms.

But I am still on the fence about what to do. B doesn't want to take the chance that there is damage, he wants to buy tin tiles and go from there. We already have the furring strips up, so much of the work is done. If we take the strips down, and there is damage, it will be harder to go back. However, if there is little or no damage (from the nails used to hammer up the furring strips) then we could easily restore it back to its original condition. I have visions of painting the ceilings very cool colors, and putting up some appropriate medallions. I am restoring a brass chandelier that is just begging to be hung in the dining room, and a medallion would set it off perfectly. I can see his reasoning, and totally agree with him. But it would cost so much less, and be so much truer to the style, if we patched and sanded the few spots on the ceiling that may be damaged. I could even take off the wallpaper between the furring strips to see any preliminary damage now, before removing them. But, for today, we are done.

***

Well, I am done beating myself up about being a bad farmer. Yes, I am too attached to my cats, that's for sure. But I am what I am, and I can't help it. Someone needs to look out for the poor creatures who are dumped by those who are cruel and heartless. If people want to think I'm one of those eccentric cat collectors, then so be it. There are worse things to be known for.

Quick Cat Update:

Bub (barn kitty with a broken leg): She's doing fine. The vet said her leg has a great chance of healing properly on its own, based upon the muscles holding it in place and the lack of tissue damage. He advised "cage rest and neglect" and that is exactly what she is getting. We have her in a big dog kennel, complete with kitty bed, litterbox, food/water and soft blankies. Don't know how much longer she'll take to recuperate. I think it will be a matter of weeks.

Val (sick kitty that nearly died): He is still a bit sick with an eye infection. He has not gained much weight, and did not choose to use the litterbox. That was a HUGE problem in my house. So he is in another large airline kennel. He has the same accommodations as Bub. He does not like it, and constantly complains. But he gets more rest and recuperation in there, since when he is loose, the other cats want to play.

Nic (brother of Val, not as sick): He is doing GREAT. He plays, gets into all kinds of mischief, and tries to incite Shadow into a brawl at every opportunity. He is gaining weight, and is probably about 1 1/2 pound by now.

Shadow (our kitty for 6 years): After spending a few days disgruntled, he has come around. He enjoys battling Nic, and still comes around for luvs and attention. I am glad he's getting along well. He is 12, and he weights about 18 pounds. So he could really be nasty to the kittens if he wanted to be.

Your Grade in Farming 101: F

I have failed Farming 101.

I have become too attached to my animals. I have failed to let nature take her course.

First it was the barn cats and giving them their little house with Egyptian Cotton Sheets.

Then it was rescuing the kitties next door and giving up my entire Christmas vacation to dote over Val and nurse him back to health.

Now, it seems that Bub, one of BB's barn kittens has a broken leg. It was devastating for me to see and imagine his (now properly known as her) pain. I think she was in one of the horses' stalls, and she was stepped on. I took her to the vet today, and he advised inside rest and recovery. It seems that the only option is to let it heal on its own, or to have surgery to put a pin in it. That is surgery that he does not/cannot perform. He is my vet, and I trust him and his judgement. So the only answer is to keep her resting inside the kennel in the house. And she is there now.

I spent my evening last night sobbing about my kitty. I have failed to distance myself.

I can't help it, I just can't stand to see an animal suffer. They are pure souls, who ask for nothing in return but love and care. And the barn cats don't even ask for that.

screwy photos

Sorry about the photos in my blog. I'm usually somewhat technically savvy, but the photo service I use makes a "collage" of the photos for you, and then gives you the code to insert in your post. Well, when I upload new photos, they seem to appear in my collage, making me think that the collage loads differently depending on the photos you've uploaded. It must just use the most recent, rather than specifically the five I told it to use.

I will figure it out, but for now, sorry about the duplicates. I love the snowman, L made it himself. He is wearing the dreaded "Winnie the Pooh" hat. Do you have one of those at your house? That "baby" item that nobody will be caught dead in? We wear those things to the barn and out to play, but my kids turn them inside out or something. Because way out here in the middle of nowhere, you never know who you might run into. Or, the horses could see that Winnie the Pooh emblem, and tell their friends, and it could be all over town in a short time.

Anyway, he's frowning because he is being forced to wear that hat. I say he's frowning because he's cold!

Happy Tuesday.

snowman
Originally uploaded by Terre d'Esprit.

Happy Winter!!

These are some photos I took today. There is one of my cozy house, one of the road I live on, and the others are of a famous covered bridge. I will not say the bridge's name, just to keep some semblance of privacy! But it's cool. Look closely at the top one, I took a picture of the river, and the bridge is over the river in the far distance.

I took them today. I thought I would get out after the snowstorm, but the road wasn't plowed until late in the day and it was too dark for photos.

Everything is totally different in the snow. Everything is just so quiet. Summer is peaceful in a breezy sort of way, but winter is just so still and introspective. Makes you want to draw the blanket around your shoulders a little tighter, or snuggle up a little closer to your Love.

Enjoy!

Brudders.

Brudders.
Originally uploaded by Terre d'Esprit.

Here are the kitty brudders! The one on the left is Valdez, the kitten formerly known as "sick kitty." The one on the right is Nic. You can see the difference-- Valdez still has an eye cold and is really, really skinny. In the 2 weeks' time that it has been that Nic has been eating and Valdez has not, Nic has really grown a lot bigger. Soon V will catch up!

The little neighbor girl came back today to play. She offered more cats to us, saying they were "indoor/outdoor" cats. B doesn't think the mom wants the kittens back.

Ironically, one of BB's cats is sick. He has an eye infection. I have been giving it antibiotics, though it isn't making huge strides in recovery. The little girl told L to try and catch the kitty. Her mom supposedly made an appointment for the kitten at the vet. She said, "Please catch him-- my mom doesn't want to lose her money if she doesn't take him to the vet." Whaaaattt??

I don't know if the girl was making up the story, or if the mom is trying to make up for her treatment of V and N. Either way, it doesn't matter. These are apples and oranges. BB's kitten is feral. I couldn't doctor it if I tried (other than giving it antibiotics in its food). I couldn't bring it inside. The only thing I could possibly do is live trap it and take it to the vet. I feed and water them daily and give them shelter with bedding.

Valdez and Nic are house cats. They have no survival skills. Putting them outside in December at 8 weeks of age, giving them no shelter or food or water, that is completely different.

Okay, I'm done venting. I hope this is the last I worry about what's going to happen to them, or what has happened to them.

Not Good. : (

As B just said, No good deed goes unpunished.

Today, the neighbor kids came over to sled. I invited them in for hot chocolate and cinnamon rolls that I had just baked (from scratch!). Of course, my kids showed off our new kittens, and explained the unfortunate circumstances of their arrival at our house.

The neighbors pointed out that they were, in fact, their kittens. Tom and Jerry, they called them. They had put them outside so they could be "inside/outside" cats. Apparently they had their shots and everything.

The kids' mom has been looking for them for days, and was worried that they had died or been eaten, etc.

To be fair, those people do have a house on the farm where I fed my neighbor's horses (he does not live on that property). I guess I should have asked them if they were, in fact, their kittens. However, nobody was around, and truthfully, I never even stopped to consider that they could have been someone's cats, for as emaciated and sick as they were.

So what do you think? Do you think I should give them their cats back? Nobody has called or come over to say that they want them back, but it hasn't been that long since the kids left. If she comes over, should I give them back? How can I be sure that they will not make them "inside/outside" cats again? Is it my business if they do that or not?

I am trying to play the devil's advocate. It's really hard, because I have the emotional investment, the financial investment (the food, litterbox, vet bills, 5 cans of KMR). I also can't stand to see an animal suffer, and both of these animals were suffering greatly. I had a visitor the day I took the sick kitty inside-- she begged me to bring him inside and I emailed her today to tell her how he was. She told me today that she nearly took him home that night because she was mortified at his state (I told her I couldn't have any more cats!). Of course, there is also the vet who saw him on Wednesday, and was surprised at his declined state. He was also the one who told me he really thought they were dumped, because they were so friendly. We both cursed the SOBs who would do such a thing.

I will struggle with this one. I don't want to be a cat thief. But, if it were not for me, these cats would be dead.

What should I do?

SNOW DAY!

Weather forecast, at 9:44 pm:

A mix of snow and sleet will overspread central Iowa this
evening... changing over to all snow by midnight. Snow will be
heavy at times overnight... and again Wednesday and Wednesday evening.
Expect storm total accumulations of 8 to 12 inches. In addition
northeast winds of 15 to 20 mph will create some blowing and drifting
of snow... making for very hazardous travel.

School has already been cancelled for tomorrow!

Time to break out the sleds and the snowman-making materials! I will post pictures-- I love taking pictures of the snow. It will be cool to have photos of our first snow!

If I can get down the road tomorrow, I will also take pictures of the covered bridge nearby. It, no doubt, will be gorgeous in the snow! It might be a day or so, though...

I can sleep in tomorrow! Now I can watch Conan tonight...

*****************************

The new kitten is doing wonderfully! He is now off of the KMR and has started eating solid food. He still looks emaciated and like something out of an oil spill (matted and disheveled) but he is acting like a cat, and EATING and DRINKING!

Cause for celebration!!

I am not sure I can give him away now... I would, however, definitely still give him to Michael Knight. Michael, come over so you can ride Kitten (the horse) and meet the kitten (the cat)! I'll even cook dinner! :) (No hard sell here.)

Life is good.

Happy New Year!

Do you make new year's resolutions? Do you stick to them?

Mine this year is to work really hard on the inside of the house over the winter. I can't stand living in chaos, with half of my things still packed and stacked in the corner. I need to get the walls skim coated, painted and shelves built. It will be a good day when all of that happens.

I am still continuing to try and simplify. I emailed Michael the other day, describing my Christmas card fiasco (I am actually taking a break from doing them right now!). I said to him, "In an effort to simplify things, I have made them more complicated."I think that is a metaphor for my life! B says it's the human condition, but that doesn't make me feel any better.

The kitty saga continues. Firstly, Nic is doing great. He has filled out quite nicely in a week, and has made himself at home. He is sweet, and we are happy to have him.

The other kitty is not doing so well. It was touch and go yesterday. He started the day off by eating solid food, which made me so happy! I'd fed him Kitten Milk Replacer (KMR) all week, so to have him take a few tablespoons of solid food was great.

I got home from town and went right down to him, just a few hours later. He had taken a turn for the worse. He could not stand, he collapsed immediately when I put him down. His pupils were tiny slits, and he just stared blankly straight ahead. His heartbeat and breathing were irregular.

I held him, thinking he was going to die any minute, and wanting him to die warm and loved. After a few minutes, I decided I was desperate enough to try and tube feed him. I have read about doing it, but the fear of putting it into his lung kept me from doing it earlier. But I had nothing to lose, so I did it. It worked, and I got him to take about 4 tablespoons of KMR that way.

I brought him upstairs then, and kept pushing the KMR all night. We slept downstairs so I could be with him, and I snuggled with him in my bed. I woke up to him alert and purring this morning! I just fed him another 4-5 tablespoons about 3 hours ago, and he is sleeping like a baby. Probably time to push some more.

I hope that he will clue in and start taking solids on his own soon. I go back and forth between being so exhausted from keeping up with this for a week, to feeling like I haven't done all I should. I will do it as much as necessary, but it will be so much easier when he will eat on his own. He will be healthy in no time when that happens. I have bought him the most stinky, rich, seafood flavored catfood I can find! : )

Oh, when I took him to the vet on Wednesday, he felt (as I had considered) that someone had dumped Nic and his brother off in the country and they wound up at the neighbor's. Bastards! They are so cute, they would have been adopted in a heartbeat from a shelter. People are such cowards. No animal deserves to be treated that way, and then suffer because their owner is so callous.

I pray he makes it and has a great 2005!